Wednesday, April 29, 2009

There's Pee in My Pool

And a steamy Baby Ruth to boot...

"Don't touch it!"

Believe me I wish I didn't have to, but I've got to go back over my miserable bracket to break down the next round. And while it's not a total failure, my SCC pick has hit Shitsville with golf rounds-a-plenty. Yes San Jose has bombed once again, and have now rightfully earned the title of "Choke Artist." I took Philly too and immediately regretted it. I took them for the first two rounds last year and it paid off.

So I went 6 for 8, and I'm down a goaltender who only earned me four points. I should have gone with Timonen and taken Parise, instead of Richards and Oduya, that was just a bonehead move. Even though Timonen didn't do shit, he did more than Oduya who gave me a goose egg. Richards shoulder, and Drury's hand fucked me too.

So who's left...
Well I've got two offensive defensemen in the Detroit/Anaheim series, Scotty Niedermayer and Brian Rafalski, both who have done well for me. Jonathan Toews and Daniel Sedin have also put up nice numbers for me, as well as Evgeni Malkin, and Eric Staal who's been lighting it up. Timmy Tommy didn't need any extra time to whomp the Habs, but didn't shut them out either. Ovechkin has been a little disappointing, only because its him and you expect him to get 7 goals a game. But he's starting to break out, and elude his shadow, we'll see who Pittsburgh puts on him. Hooks Orpik anyone?

As for bracket picks, maybe I just better stick to round to round like MSM does so not to put too much of their ass on the line. So for the second round I'll start with the East...

(1) Boston Bruins vs. (6) Carolina Hurricanes - I'm taking the Bruins in 5 games.

Here's why...
- Boston disassembled Montreal piece-by-piece, they looked instrumental in doing so.
- That Carolina/New Jersey series was very streaky, very all over the place. Its obvious Carolina could turn it on when they wanted to, but they also didn't show up for a few games as well. Boston has killer instinct. Carolina may steal one, or two, but not three, and certainly not four.
- Boston won't underestimate them like New Jersey did. This is the second round, teams are even more prepared for their opponents by having watched their first round series.

Bottom line, probably the least exciting series of the second round. Boston will execute.

(2) Washington Capitals vs. (4) Pittsburgh Penguins - I'm taking the Pens in 7 games.

Here's why...
- The Capitals are good, but too offensively minded, Pittsburgh is two-way hockey.
- Washington showed they are weak in going down in a series to the lowly Rangers. Pittsburgh literally kicked the crap out of Philadelphia.
- Because I want it to go to seven games, don't you?

Bottom line, this will be a no holds barred, adrenaline-filled, thrill ride.

To the left, to the left... (I hate that bitch.)

(2) Detroit Red Wings vs. (8) Anaheim Ducks - I'm taking the Ducks in 6 games.

Here's why...
- Because I've got Game 6 tickets.
- Because no one's repeated as Stanley Cup Champions in a decade.
- Because I don't give a shit, and I hate the fucking Red Wings.

Bottom line, this will be a great series, even if Detroit wins. The bad blood between these two teams will be boiling.

(3) Vancouver Canucks vs. (4) Chicago Blackhawks - I'm taking the Canucks in 7 games.

Here's why...
- Vancouver dismantled a very hot St. Louis team in short order.
- This is a real youth series, and while Chicago is younger, Vancouver has a little more playoff experience, and the sour taste of losing in the post.
- Do you not remember the late regular season matchup between these two that resulted in hair pulling?

Bottom line, this will be another lights out series if nothing more than a battle between Luongo and Khabibulin. Chicago will lose this year, and return next season with a lesson learned.

So it all sets up for a pretty orgasmic second round, with the exception being the Bruins/'Canes series. Gary must be creaming in his pants.

No comments: