Way Late... Round Two Predictions

I don't have time for this crap.  I was lulled into a sound sleep from the Western Conference being over in a week, next thing I knew, the East is still playing Game 7's while the West started on the second round.

Whatever.  This is what my bracket looked like after the first round.

Actually, it was bloodier.  With less excitement.

Getting your two Cup picks getting blown out in the first round will piss you off something fierce, let me tell you.  Despite that Club Fuckery, I still went four for eight, that's about as good as flipping a coin.  You want good pro hockey insight, you come right fucking here.

In case you didn't get enough, here's the next round, which I've conveniently posted nearly two games late.  But you'll see I'm so stupid I'll still go against the results and pick what everyone now knows will not happen.  Somehow giving validity to it all.  Poetic isn't it?

The Kings had a gameplan.  They executed it, and took the #1 seed out swiftly.  They're running with that ball, and having Jonathan Quick doesn't hurt either.  The Blues made short work of the Sharks, as most of us intelligent prognosticators expected.  Sharks don't win shit, Blues are good this year, equals San Jose turfed in first round.  As we've already seen, the Kings are showing that the Blues are fallible.  I expected this one to go to seven, and could have gone either way, but my gut said the Kings would take it.  If I wasn't cheating, you'd think I was a genious.

Kings in 7.

The Coyotes are a dogged team.  I'll give you a minute to collect yourself.  They work hard, are well coached, and have a goaltender that is just feeling it right now.  If the Blackhawks could stop enjoying themselves from being themselves they may have won that series.  That, and Corey Crawford absolutely blows.  The Predators dispatched the old, and wobbly Red Wings handily.  No surprise, not this year at least.  They've been caught off guard by the Coyotes, but this series is far from over.  They'll regain composure, and I originally expected them to take it in 6.  That looks doubtful now, but stranger things have happened.  By the way I'd love to see the Coyotes run the table.  Fantastic.

Predators in 6.

It took the Rangers 7 games to beat a Senators team that was playing on borrowed time.  For that deep a Rangers team it was pretty despicable.  The Capitals on the other hand took down the giant in 7 close 1-goal games.  Its easy to say those games could go either way, but the Caps are here and the Bruins are not.  This is another series that has upset written all over it.  Is this the year the Capitals finally hit their stride?  They look like shit all season with some small glimpses of Ovechkin returning to form, and now Dale "I didn't hear the whistle" Hunter finally saying, "Fuck the egos, we're doing it the way we always should have been."

Caps in 7.

The Flyers absolutely crushed the Penguins.  They ripped their balls off, chewed them, and swallowed them like they weren't eating testicles.  The Devils needed seven games to beat the Panthers.  The Florida Panthers.  Typical. "New Jersey" typical.  I expect the Devils to go out without a whimper.  Giroux is in beast mode, and the Flyers are hungry.  Brodeur is going to be shown the door at least once in this series.

Flyers in 4.

I would put any stock in my predictions but if you're an idiot, I would say we're looking at Flyers East vs. Flyers West for a final.  Nashville could easily get in the way of that, they looked poised in the first round, not so much now.  It would definetely make for an interesting Cup Final with all the story tie-ins.  And a big fuck you to whoever loses.

Quick Thoughts on the Post Last Night 4/11/12

Pens vs. Flyers

Blowing a 3-0 lead at home to start does not give you that same warm and fuzzy feeling you had for the Penguins steamrolling into the postseason.  Danny Briere threw the team on his back for a goal or two, and got a team who never said die, back into game that seemed decided pretty early on.  Brayden Schenn had a breakout three-point night, assisting on Briere's goals, and tipping the tying goal home.  You've got to give Bryzgalov a lot of credit, he hung in there when everyone had already written him off.


Preds vs. Wings

This was exactly the type of game you expected it to be, just a constant back and forth, wearing down game, the two teams only capitalizing on each other's mistakes.  Pekka Rinne and Jimmy Howard were great, with the exception of that second goal for the Predators.  Jimmah would like to have that one back I bet.  Weber seemed off his game the whole night, just completely uncomfortable out there.  He saw red after Zetterberg bumped him late in the game, and just went stupid.  Really undisciplined at a point in the game when it shouldn't matter.


Canucks vs. Kings

Talk about uncomfortable, the Canucks looked out of their skin last night, and barely showed any signs of returning to form.  To their credit, the Kings had a game plan, came out flying, and brought it all night long.  Luongo was the only reason the score was as close as it was.  Quick wasn't too shabby either, but we've come to expect that this postseason after a Vezina worthy regular season.  But late in the third, the score was tied at two, if the Canucks had pulled out a win, that would've been a crushing blow to the Kings, having given everything they had and not come out with a win.  But it didn't, and so, it doesn't matter.


All in All...

Welcome to the learning curve of officiating in the postseason, as opposed to the dramatic difference in the regular season.  Thought the officiating, across the board, in all three games, was absolutely horrible.  Some officiating teams were of the mindset to let them play, others called every goddamn thing, and sometimes for one time only.

Nashville was the only team to win at home, once again making us question the difference of home field advantage in the postseason.  And also that seedings don't matter coming out of the gate of the post.

The Full Bracket

There she is, in all her miserable glory. A further elaboration from the wake up call of yesterday's post. No confidence in this whatsoever, even though there aren't many risky moves out here. Well maybe a few, depending on which fanbase you talk to. I've got the Finals at a seven-gamer between the Canucks and Penguins. I think the Pens have a better shot of getting there than the Coconuts, but that's just me. And apparently every other pundit, (or idiot with a blog). Separated East and West brackets below.

The risky here is the Predators making it to the West finals, then again, you could probably say that about the Canucks too. Its funny, they win the President's Trophy the last two years, and they still seem to be the odds on upset. I could easily see the Blues making me look like an idiot too, but that wouldn't be there fault, the blame would be squarely on me.

I really don't see much risk in the first round picks in the East, other than the glorious 4/5 matchup, which is always problematic. Like I mentioned earlier, the Pens seem to be the favorite for going long. The risk here is pushing the Devils to beat the Rangers. Honestly, I'm biased. My hate for the Rangers is too damn strong. But even if they pass the Devils, I think they're dead in the water against the Pens. Honestly, I think whoever wins the battle of Pittsburgh goes to the Cup Finals.

Conn Smythe winner... Even with the Canucks to take it, I bet its going to go to the losing team this year. And my vote is the probably Hart Trophy winner, Evgeny Malkin. Beast-mode is not strong enough a term for how this guy has been playing.

Enjoy the two and a half month hockey orgy.

And We're Back... Predictions

Should I lead off by saying, don't expect too much? I think with the prolonged hiatus and the lack of quality posts should cover that. I couldn't miss this, its Christmas time for hockey fans. So let's jump right in shall we?

Western Conference

#1 Vancouver Canucks vs. #8 Los Angeles Kings

How sloppy was that Pacific Conference race to mediocrity? And Drew Doughty adding that little blackboard material of wanting to knock the Sharks out, only to lose both games in the home-and-home finale. Well Terry Murray's gone and Darryl Sutter's in, and not much has changed. Jeff Carter whined his way out of Columbus and somehow he was lucky enough to get traded to the same team his best friend forever was shipped off to. They should have sent that little bitch to the Islanders just to send a message. But the Kings still have Jonny Quick and Anze Kopitar, and they'll have to ride those two horses into the ground to have any shot of beating the Canucks.

Vancouver slept their way through the second half of the season and still end up with the Presidents' Trophy, for better or worse. I can't tell if they're lying in waiting, or if they're just disinterested at this point, but they don't appear to be a team ready for the post show. Even still they're a talent-ladent team that beefed up defensively, if not bulkier. They're going to give Roberto Luongo the chance to do it himself, but if it were me, I'd be starting Cory Schneider, ego be damned. They'll need Daniel Sedin back to be dominant, but should be able to walk over the Kings fairly easily.

Canucks in 6.

#2 St. Louis Blues vs. #7 San Jose Sharks

Never thought I'd be putting those numbers with those teams back in October. I really don't know how the Blues missed taking the points lead, but I see them as the most dominant team coming out of the West at this point. Hitchcock has got a solid roster operating like a well-oiled machine. The two headed tandem of Jaro Halak and Brian Elliott provides security, and they can roll out three solid lines with a vengence. Their defense moves the puck well and will be the difference in this series.

The Sharks on the other hand are just slowly breaking down. Then again, every other year they've rolled into the postseason strong, and looked like Cup contenders, they've never made it. But its not like they still don't have high expectations, even limping in as the seventh seed. That seems to be the killer for this team, that and a lack of a killer instinct. I really don't expect them to make it out of this round, especially with how the Blues have owned them this season, and the fact that this team is just getting older and older.

Blues in 5.

#3 Phoenix Coyotes vs. #6 Chicago Blackhawks

Phoenix grabs the division title and look the best they've ever been with Tippett at the helm. Mike Smith has been a revelation after stinking it up in Dallas and Tampa for years. You want to feel good about the Coyotes making some progress in the postseason, but their first round exits in years past makes that sunshiny feeling run away real quick. Honestly the Coyotes are a middle of the road team that got a good seed thanks to a lousy Pacific division.

The Blackhawks are two years removed from a Stanley Cup, but a team that has seen a lot of personnel ship out since then, with the exception of the core of Toews, Kane, Hossa, Keith, Seabrook, and I'll even throw Hjalmarsson in there. Corey Crawford isn't Antti Niemi, but even Niemi wasn't and still isn't considered a Stanley Cup winning goaltender. The Hawks know what it takes to win, but with Toews probably not being 100% after his concussion (from car accident not some other bullshit), it leaves a little room for skepticism. But still, I think the Hawks will have enough to win even if it takes the whole series.

Blackhawks in 7.

#4 Nashville Predators vs. #5 Detroit Red Wings

This is it, we're all in. Wait, who are we talking about? I would say its the same for both teams. Detroit is on its last legs with this roster, but are still the deepest team organizationally that this League has ever seen. I expect this to be the swan song for Lidstrom and Holmstrom, and without that presence on the blue line and in front of the net for years to come, I expect to see a slide. But the ol' boys will give it one last run, and the wizardry of Zetterberg, Datsyuk, and Franzen while still amazing, is starting to wane. Okay, maybe not Datsyuk, but he's an alien. Jimmy Howard is a strong goaltender, but I've seen the playoffs break him down, mentally more than anything.

The Preds have certainly pushed everything into the pot, if not to now get out of the second round alive after conquering the demon of the first round, then just to keep Shea Weber and Ryan Suter in Nashville for a few more years. The coup of re-obtaining Alex Radulov certainly helped the cause, if not conveniently timed, but carefully handled by GM David Poile. They grabbed a few others to beef up the lineup in front of the immovable Pekka Rinne. This is the best shot they've ever had of going deep, and I believe they can get past the postseason stalwarts of Detroit.

Predators in 6.

Eastern Conference

#1 New York Rangers vs. #8 Ottawa Senators

Ottawa has been the surprise of the year, with Paul MacLean behind the bench he's had a steady hand on the youth and experience of this Senators club. Erik Karlsson has been the revelation for this team, and its true he loves playing the game, and has tremendous skill, but he is far from being a complete hockey player. Alfredsson is exactly that, but this again is probably his last hurrah, despite the ability to probably go a few more years. Spezza will need to continue his strong play, and Michalak will have to go back to his play in the 1st half of the season, which are both unlikely to happen.

This is most certainly the Rangers best chance at doing some damage since 1994, but something in me just believes that they are not built as a playoff team, I don't know why. They've got a lineup of lunchpail guys, a hero in Brad Richards, a sniper in Marian Gaborik, and a helluva backstop in Henrik Lundqvist, but I don't like their chances beyond this first round. John Tortorella, love or hate him, turns teams into contenders. His shot blocking methods are what brought the Stanley Cup to Tampa Bay, and this Rangers team has turned it into an art.

Rangers in 5.

#2 Boston Bruins vs. #7 Washington Capitals

This should really be a lot better matchup than it is, but I don't think anyone has any faith in Dale Hunter leading the Caps anywhere. If you had a choice right now, to enter the postseason with Bruce Boudreau or Hunter behind the bench, who would you take? You may not think Boudreau has what it takes to lead this team to some sort of promised land, but you certainly don't think Hunter has it in him. Ovechkin has slightly returned to his old form in the last few weeks of the season, but he'll still need to up the ante to put this team on his back and get them through this round. And he'll need help, Nicklas Backstrom's return helps, Alex Semin will need to play like he gives a shit, and that playoff monster in Joel Ward will need to return for them to do any damage on a bruising Bruins squad.

Boston was flat after the midseason break, but returned to form at the end of the season. I really don't know have the Bruins have the energy, or desire, to get the 12 wins to get to the Finals, but are nonetheless a strong, well-built team. Tim Thomas is not the same goalie he was last year, then again, the postseason let out a freak in him that earned him a Conn Smythe by the second or third round. You've still got Bergeron, Krejci, Lucic, Seguin, and Chara to deal with, and they definetely know what it takes to up it another level.

Bruins in 6.

#3 Florida Panthers vs. #6 New Jersey Devils

Back in the postseason for the first time in forever, this Frankenstein of a team with Kevin Dineen will give the people of Miami/Ft. Lauderdale something to cheer about, if only for a short while. As everyone has said, this team won a division title thanks to being in an incredibly weak division that saw Washington take a nosedive. They'll give a try, probably win a game on home ice, but I expect it to be over quick.

The Devils are most certainly a better club than the Panthers, and won't need much to sleepwalk through this series. DeBoer is a solid coach who's handled the team well despite last year's debacle after the Summer of Ilya. Brodeur is nowhere near the goalie he once was, and I honestly hope he hangs them up after getting a first round win after a few years. I wouldn't call this an upset, but maybe beating the Rangers in the next round would be.

Devils in 5.

#4 Pittsburgh Penguins vs. #5 Philadelphia Flyers

The 4/5 matchups are certainly the best, probably because they're the most even. Either one of these teams could move on, but they'll be worse for wear in the next round. Pittsburgh was so damn strong without Crosby, adding him only makes them scarier. Malkin has been a beast all year, but he's got support and that's what makes this team so dangerous. Fleury is a solid, little goaltender, who can do enough to get a win.

Philadelphia will need Ilya Bryzgalov to be stellar, and even steal this round to give the Flyers some hope. Pronger's presence is deeply missed, and I have a feeling we'll see him in the next round if the Flyers can get there, and if not, in late games in this round. The Flyers have scoring depth like the Penguins but will need it from all parts of the lineup. This will be a brutal series and more than likely the best one of the first round. Its anybody's guess who ends up the winner in this one.

Penguins in 7.

Sorry about the formatting for this, Blogger sucks.

...and it All Comes Down to One Game

Once again, here we are. Here we are at the brink of the end of the season. At the brink of a group of guys feeling like Gods with an unexpressable joy, leaving another group feeling so unbelieveably pissed off and disappointed for another year or maybe even, forever. Could you imagine? Playing all the way to a game 7 in the Stanley Cup Final only to lose, and never have the good fortune to return and reclaim that failure? Its as unbelievable as how you might feel if you won the damn thing.

Just a couple of thoughts to leave you with before the most important game of the season begins tonight...

This literally is the biggest game of their lives for all players involved. Honestly, the Bruins have showed up and played every game this series, even games they lost. The Canucks have obviously been exposed to show that they do take a night (or three) off, even in the most important series in franchise history.

Does home ice really carry all the advantage it appears to? The Bruins have exploded on home ice this series, the Nucks have won with a late goal in each game at Rogers Arena. If the finals were decided by score the Bruins have annihilated the Canucks. Considering they had a two game lead to start, that doesn't seem that far from the truth.

Without question, Tim Thomas wins the Conn Smythe, regardless of outcome. It could only be in doubt if the Canucks pay forward the Bruins the same schellacking they dished out in Game 3. Denying him would be completely unjust in the eyes of all 'just' hockey fans. He's been just about flawless.

On the Horton/Rome hit... I do believe the hit was late. I also believe that Horton was admiring his pass. That used to be grounds for being levelled at the blueline, a la Stevens on Lindros. Coaches in youth hockey would have been telling me to keep my head up if I got nailed like that. There's a responsibility for players to respect other players in terms of blatant maliciousness, but there's also a responsibility for players to protect themselves. The line is beginning to blur and that's not good.

Four games was a bit much in a Stanley Cup final. If Rome knows he's getting four games for cracking Horton, he pulls up on that hit guaranteed. The optics of Horton laying on the ice, eyes glassed, concussion clicking added to that punishment I'll bet.

Two awful things about Mason Raymond's injury... The first is that a stretcher wasn't brought out to take him off the ice. Just seeing that replay was enough for my unsubstantiated opinion to say 'immobilize him.' I wonder if that did any more damage by dragging him off the ice.

The second was the booing. I know it was the beginning of the game and the crowd is amped, but that shit is just awful. I bet if he gets taken off on a stretcher, there's a different reaction from the crowd before the resume of play.

Luongo has been godawful in Boston. I don't know if he shakes off his reputation even if the Canucks win tonight. Those first three in Game 6 were enough to make you vomit. Three goals on 8 shots. Get the fuck out of here. He should be downright ashamed for that, and play like a man possessed tonight.

A know-nothing-about-hockey friend was sitting with me watching Game 6, and he said, "If this goalie is so bad, and his backup is actually pretty good, then why aren't they playing him?" I didn't really have an answer other than, "because you don't want to damage his 'delicate sensibility'." That's pretty fucking awful. You are paying this guy over $5 million per for the next decade and he's probably the most fragile goaltender in the league.

Don't get me wrong, Luongo is a great goaltender, but only when he's on. He can manufacture a real stinker with saves that could've been made by a pee-wee. He's great positionally, and he works hard to improve. But you have a guy at the other end who is a Hasek-flopper, and plays on guts and instinct and you have to ask yourself which one you'd rather have in net tonight.

Its amazing how the media has really vilified Vancouver, team and city alike. NBC is definetely painting that picture assuming that all Americans are rooting for Boston. This slant is typically reserved for the visiting team by the local broadcast team. I guess that's not too far off.

Milbury is starting to gain ground in NBC's most annoying hockey personality against perpetual leader, the always creepy Pierre McGuire. Its pretty obvious that Milbury is really hamming it up to be a replacement for Don Cherry once he gives up the throne. But the most ironic part of all of it is that Jeremy Roenick mouths off about Marleau and that gets more press than anything that's come out of Mike's mouth. Not to mention the fact that it actually spurred Marleau on in the playoffs.

And he can't be ready for that Coaches Corner spotlight if even the mild mannered Sedin's can comeback with better lines. "He did a great job on Long Island. I'm sure he is happy with that." Surprising how Luongo's name didn't come into that script. "I don't know how he looks at women. I would be pretty mad if I was a woman."

Brad Marchand's face makes you want to punch it in an attempt to try and fix it. But man, does that guy work his ass off and make the most of his rookie opportunity.

Patrice Bergeron's mean streak has really come out hasn't it? I could've done with the biting to overshadow it all, but I would have loved to watch the battle between him and Burrows be highlighted. Wouldn't you love to have a microphone on those French-Canadian scrums?

Kesler's spotlight has certainly burned him out. You can see he's trying to do the little things, but he just looks like he's out of steam, or playing on a wooden leg.

These videos from Vancouver are incredible. Hope someone does it for tonight's game.

Well that's about all I got, I know there's more I just can't think of 'em. Enjoy the finale.

2011 Stanley Cup Finals Prediction

Well here we are, the moment we've been waiting 82 games + playoffs for. Its been a great ride hasn't it? The ups, the downs, the loop-de-loops. The optics of this final series look to provide a wealth of entertainment and sappy storylines.

...Ryan Kesler, the American boy turned Canadian hero...

...Tim Thomas, rises from the ashes to become two-time Vezina nominee...

...against fellow Vezina nominee, Roberto Luongo, and usual goat for western Canadians, despite winning Gold...

...Patrice Bergeron, concussion king, and rock on the Bruins squad...

...the magical Sedin twins, playing for hockey respect...

...Milan Lucic, Vancouver Giants favorite returning to the City to play in the Stanley Cup Finals...

There's plenty to love about this matchup, but its just not even. I'm not sure its even fair.

Goaltending, the most important element of the NHL playoffs (despite what Chicago and Philadelphia will tell you), is a wash. These two are great when they're on, and miserable when they're off. Its as simple as that.

Defense, this edge has to go Vancouver by a huge margin. Boston has Zdeno Chara and his partner's Dennis Seidenberg surprising play, and that's it. If you are going to argue that Ference and Boychuk are solid defenders then you're not sure what defence is exactly. The Canucks regularly sit Keith Ballard, a guy who's for sure a top 4 d-man on most teams. And almost every defenseman the Canucks have can join the rush and bomb it from the blue.

Offense, again I've got to give it to the Canucks. Sedin's on one line, Kesler on another, Malhotra coming back eventually to the third line, for if nothing else a solid defensive set. Krecji, Lucic, Bergeron, Horton, Ryder, Seguin, its just not matching up for me. The speed and transition game on this Canucks team is going to eat the Bruins alive.

I like this Bruins team, I really do, but I don't see any way around this unstoppable force. Just like Chicago was last year, Vancouver is this year.

I'm giving Boston one game, that's it. Its the Canucks time. It may sound cliche, but it really is their time.

Canucks in 5.

Odds and Ends

First off this 8pm start time is bullshit. Granted the games probably won't actually start until 8:30pm, but this is still 5:30pm on the west coast. This is not enough time to get home from work, let alone to find a bar in California that's actually got the game on. That's not really true, its the Stanley Cup Finals, the game will be on, but it won't be a "hockey bar" that's for sure. But the whole schedule is way too drawn out. Since all the games are primetime, I don't see why we couldn't have kicked off on Monday night, and then do the every other night thing while the series is in the same city. Instead, we start tonight, then wait until Saturday, teams travel to Boston, play Monday/Wednesday, back to Vancouver for Friday, then wait until Monday/Wednesday again if it goes back that far.

I'd like to tackle the whole Atlanta to Winnipeg thing in another post. I know I've promised Phoenix game and 'Playing with Fire' reviews in the past but I hope to deliver on all of them this summer. While in the process of buying a new home, having another baby, and all the other day-to-day joys of life.

I'm not sure what's sadder, this guy losing his hockey team or losing his marriage. Losing both at the same time would be enough to kill most men. Kidding aside, the Falconer is one of the best bloggers around, and he'll be sadly missed if he decides to hang 'em up. And no one could blame him for doing so.

Guy Boucher is my new favorite head coach if only for the soundbytes in postgame interviews and gif images. The hockey world is better place with smartass coaches like Ron Wilson, and John Tortorella telling Larry Brooks to fuck off.

Tampa is really an incredible turnaround. Think about what that team was a few years ago with Barrie/Koules at the helm, and where it ended this season. Lots of respect.

Glad to see the Isles making some progress in signing Grabner and Okposo to multi-year deals, and a brighter potential for getting a new building.

Rafalski is one of the smoothest defenseman I've ever seen. He'll be missed.

Boogaard's death was pretty humbling, as death usually is, but the thing that ate at me was the fact that all the media wrote how they never really knew the guy because they didn't think he was worth talking to, and now they discover what a great guy he was.

Both teams deserve this Cup, but only one's going to win it.

Enjoy it.

Conference Finals Predictions

Almost there. The quarterfinals would have been a real bummer of a round without that Detroit/San Jose Game 7, the East was sure a bore. Two sweeps with an upset, (sorry, I don't consider a #3 beating a #2 seed an upset). Nashville drained the life out of the Vancouver series, but I think the most exciting teams have pushed through.

I went 3 for 4, picking the Tampa upset, but missing the Bruins sweep. Also picked that the Sharks would need seven to get past Detroit, for whatever that's worth. So only three more series left to pick, here's my thoughts on the next two...

Western Conference Finals

#1 Vancouver Canucks vs. #2 San Jose Sharks

How do you pick at this stage of the game, who's bashed up the least. I think these teams are pretty even, but I think the Canucks have the edge in speed. I'll call goaltending a draw, despite the fact that the thought is that Luongo should be lightyears ahead of Niemi. Everthing else seems to be similar, defenses move the puck well, plenty of offensive weapons, special teams click. I think the Sedins' get going in this series while Kesler slows down, Pavelski and Marleau get going, while Setoguchi and Thornton stall. Kesler is going to busy shadowing Thornton leading to less offense for both.

Canucks in 6.

Eastern Conference Finals

#3 Boston Bruins vs. #5 Tampa Bay Lightning

Boston's hungrier this year and it shows, despite Philadelphia's injuries and sluggishness, I think the Bruins proved a point in beating the Flyers. Thomas is the sharpest he's ever been, lots of offense, decent defense, but a shitty powerplay. Tampa, as I said before, just believes and that's what they're riding on. They've got offensive firepower too, but not as much as depth as the B's. For the warrior that Rolosson is, I think Thomas will win this matchup.

Bruins in 5.

Some other thoughts...

• Boogaard's death is crazy news. If this is due to concussions, this will definetely be the slap in the face that all contact sports will need to regulate hitting, or maybe just fighting. Already thinking Bob Probert.


• Great news for the Isles, hope they finally get that new rink built. And they signed Grabner.


• Crazy part about Grabner is that he was a Canuck last season. That organization is oozing talent. Hope Hodgson gets a real chance next season.


• Disagree with Jagr to the Pens, despite the fact that it is more about getting the Penguins legend back into the organization rather than actually playing next season. But if the media's going to create it, then I don't think he mixes well in that lockerroom with that young group. But that's just me.


• This relocation crap is hitting critical mass, but I would not be surprised to see Atlanta go out without a whimper. Imagine a hockey team being swept out of a city before the fanbase even had a chance to dispute it. But what Atlanta Spirit owner Bruce Levenson had to say in this interview was pretty depressing for Thrash fans.

Plenty more, but I'll save it for another time, enjoy the confy finals!

2011 2nd Round Predictions

Yeah, I'm not cleaning that up. Sorry. But I will go ahead and brag about how I went six for eight in the first round, losing only the #4/#5 matchups in each conference. Even got number of games right in the Caps and B's series. Whoo! Big fuckin' deal. But if I look back to my predictions at the beginning of the season, looks like I had 6 of 8 right in the West for the postseason push, and 7 in the East. Got all three division leaders right in the West, but put Calgary and Colorado in, instead of Phoenix and Anaheim. Got two division leaders right in the East, swapping Pittsburgh for Philadelphia, and my one miss was plopping New Jersey in, instead of New York. Starting to look like I know what I'm talking about.

In any case, the 1st round was epic, only wish I got to see more of it. Four game seven's, and two on back-to-back nights, pretty sweet. Couple of things I noticed in that first round, where to start...

• Duncan Keith is a mean son-of-a-bitch. I thought the guy was pretty even keeled, but that mf'er really wants to win. He's a competitor.


• Speaking of competitors, Jon Toews is something else. That guy is determination.


• The Caps disposed of the Rangers pretty easily, but not as easily as they could have. A tougher team will expose that. Meet the Tampa Bay Lightning, who I severely underestimated.


• There is no way Ovechkin is 100%, which has been pretty obvious all season long. Here's the scenario, AO gets injured early in the season, he can play, but there's a potential for more damage if he does so. Caps brass have to weigh the options, shut him down for a healthy chunk of the season, losing their key personality for HBO and the Winter Classic, or let him gut it out. What would you do?


• Playoff teams of nobodies... Buffalo Sabres, or should I say Ryan Miller and the Sabres, the New York Rangers, the Nashville Predators, the Phoenix Coyotes. Which of those teams is still in the dance?


• Anaheim is another one of those teams, if you subtract their Big 3, since Hiller was already subtracted.


• The Sharks/Kings series was great, and the wee beginnings of another inner-state rivalry was born within the fans of each.


• The Phoenix/Detroit series was over before I had an opportunity to turn it on.

Enough of that, onto the picks...

West

#1 Vancouver vs. #5 Nashville

I can't tell whether its hate for the Canucks, or whether people have them labelled as the next Sharks. But I think Vancouver makes short work of the Predators, then again I said the Ducks would do that.

Canucks in 5.

#2 San Jose vs. #3 Detroit

This one is very hard to pick, and may be the best matchup of this round. On one hand you have a well-rested group of champions in the Wings who know how to win. Granted not as deep as in years past, but that lineup is solid, top to bottom. The Sharks are definetely deep, but its their delicate sensibility that makes us always question them. They always seem like they're ready to take that next step, until they get swatted out of the postseason. Its a guess...

Sharks in 7.

East

#1 Washington vs. #5 Tampa Bay

Here's my upset pick. I just don't think the Caps have it in them. They made some key acquisitions at the deadline, that were for sure, deep playoff pickups, but they just haven't shown that they've got what it takes to make a run. Tampa on the other hand, has two steady hands guiding the ship, Yzerman and Boucher, and they have this team believing with the pick up of Rolosson. I believe them too.

Lightning in 6.

#2 Philadelphia vs. #3 Boston

This series should be a lot closer, but it won't. Philly was slow on the draw, but now they've got the momentum, and they're going to run. Hard. Boston is out of gas, and looking miserable. The Habs were not the Cinderella they were a year ago for sure, they were just overmatched by the B's. But the Bruins are going to have to turn their game around to even have a shot at this series.

Flyers in 6.

2011 1st Round Playoff Picks

Hello all,

What a long strange trip its been, but more on that later. I'm here to get down my dirty picks before the puck drops tonight. I'll do my best to get in here and clean this up, but at least you know I didn't cheat by putting these down a game into the series.

Love to all.

West

#1 Vancouver vs. #8 Chicago

My how the tables have turned. Still there's no way of knowing what will happen in the playoffs.

Canucks in 6.

#2 San Jose vs. #7 Los Angeles

Interesting little NorCal vs. SoCal series. A lot of people had the Kings picked to do so damage. Who me?

Sharks in 5.

#3 Detroit vs. #6 Phoenix

It's like deja vu all over again. Go with heart or head?

Wings in 7.

#4 Anaheim vs. #5 Nashville

Nobody gives the Predators any credit and I can't either. Not when a team claws their way back into the playoff picture only to find themselves fourth in the West when it's all said and done.

Ducks in 5.

East

#1 Washington vs. #8 New York

Is this the year? Ranger fans are kidding themselves if they think they're playing spoiler this year. Then again, they usually are kidding themselves.

Caps in 5.

#2 Philadelphia vs. #7 Buffalo

Philly's on a rampage, and when they finish its going to be a bloodbath.

Flyers in 5.

#3 Boston vs. #6 Montreal

Too much masterbation on this one, but understandably so.

Bruins in 7.

#4 Pittsburgh vs. Tampa Bay

Not going to be as interesting as people think. Steel town rolls into Washington for a Winter Classic rematch. More masterbation ensues.

Pens in 5.

So there you go, no upsets, no sweeps, but a few sympathy wins for the unders. Chickenshit be thy name. Enjoy.

Still Thinking About It

Tampa Turnaround

• For all the right moves Stevie Y made in his first GM attempt in Tampa, the goaltending band-aid was the most over looked. Mike Smith was already in the stable coming off a banged up year, Niittymaki had left for San Jose on free agency, so Yzerman picked up Dan Ellis the same way. Smith/Ellis tandem didn't exactly create fear in opposing forwards and similarly probably didn't give the Bolts confidence from the back either. As you would expect, the two goalie's play has been mediocre at best all year, despite the fact that Lightning have been playing some incredible hockey with Stamkos and St. Louis at the forefront. So the immortal Wing picks up Dwayne Roloson, shipping what was left of the disastrous Dan Boyle trade from his predecessors, to the Island. Rollie pulls a 1-0 shutout in his first start, against the Caps no less, and then gets thrown in net the next night by Boucher for an 8-1 stinker against the Pens. Now you can't judge a trade based on two games, but at the very least they've added a veteran competitor who hates to lose, and hopefully in the process pushes either Ellis or Smith to get their shit together. My guess is that they'll be playing for the backup role regardless.
  
• As an aside, I think Friedman mentioned it, when Yzerman was asked why he didn't pursue Nabokov after the news that he had been released from his KHL contract, and instead pulled the trigger in Roloson, he stated that he didn't think Nabby would clear waivers.

Box Office Winter Ordinary

• HBO's 24/7 was a huge success in that it exposed the non-hockey fan to the game in an in-depth fashion, and allowed the rapid hockey fan to eat up all the nuances and intricacies of life between the periods for the players, coaches, and GM's. The selection of teams for the Classic was a yawn for most of us, chalking it up to a contrived rivalry, but it was genius for documentary using the two posterboys of the League to ham up the drama. The location was the real bust. I don't think Heinz Field strikes anyone outside of Pittsburgh as a truly memorable location like Wrigley or Fenway. The real disappointment in the series lies in the fact that it was only four episodes long.
  
• My next pick for the Winter Classic: New York Rangers vs. Los Angeles Kings in Central Park. Think about it, Bettman's always talking about how the TV ratings drive the markets, well here's the two biggest cities in the U.S. going to head to head with youthful teams showing a lot of promise. There's not a real rivalry there, but who are you going to match the Rangers up with? The sadness that is the Islanders? Or Devils for that matter? I know it'll never happen in terms of feasibility, but the League's going to have to keep coming up with new ideas, and you might as well start literally thinking outside the box (of existing sports stadiums) and go with a venue shakeup. Bangin Panger had some good ideas on the next Winter Classic.
  
• Oh, and somebody else mentioned this and I wholeheartedly agree, don't show other games that day either. The only other game I was looking for was the Heritage Classic and that wasn't scheduled for another two months.

Cursing the Canucks

• Ryan Kesler has taken a huge leap in terms of becoming a complete hockey player. Always known as a defensive centerman, his production has seen a dramatic increase at the other end of the ice. And its not like his benefitting from the telepathy of the Sedin's either, less than half of his goals have come on the powerplay where he's paired with the twins. With 41 points in 42 games, he's learned to shut his mouth and hit 'em where it hurts.
  
• Vancouver is humming right now aren't they? Too early to peak? That whole roster is playing well right now. Torres is playing some of the best hockey I've ever seen him play, Malhotra is still lights out in the dot, Raymond is playing well, Bieksa has turned it into something positive. It would be scary if Samuelsson actually got the goal scoring going. Somebody needs to piss him off, maybe tell him to fuck himself.

All-Snore

• I'll tell you I could not care less about the All-Star Game. I haven't even looked at the rosters, despite it being plastered everywhere in some sort of greasy combination with fans bitching about snubs, media whining about how players asked not to be included so they could rest, and the League boasting it as an important marketing event. While the idea of "Captains" picking the teams is novel, the game needs a complete overhaul to make entertaining (and remotely interesting). And who needs Captains for an All-Star Game anyway? Let the players pick the two Coaches (can't pick their own), and let the Coaches pick the two teams. I know the Coaches don't have the personality (unless we're talking Ron Wilson vs. John Tortorella), but I can't stomach another Crosby vs. Ovechkin makeout session.

Do You Smell Something?

• How fucked is Ottawa? Completely dysfunctional. Murray wants to fire Clouston, and Melnyk tells Murray if he does that he's gone too. Frankly that's the best idea I've heard come out of that organization.
  
• Wanna see parity? Check out the glut in spots 1 through 12 in the Western Conference.
  
• Wanna see a distinct separation between playoff teams and non-playoff teams? Look at the Eastern Conference.
  
• The lowest scoring team in the West (Edmonton) has the lowest scoring team in the East (New Jersey) beat by 25 goals. And a -55 in goal differential I might add.
  
• This shit between Langenbrunner and Lemaire had to come to a head at some point after catching whiffs of it stemming from last year when Lemaire was at the helm before retiring. Again. I think it's pretty obvious that Kovalchuk's arrival rubbed Jaime the wrong way, and the $100million offseason and subsequent abysmal year following probably didn't help matters.
• The Pacific Division has three teams in the top 8 spots, Dallas (Leader), Phoenix, and Anaheim. Los Angeles and San Jose are on the outside looking in right now, how many of you would have predicted that even at this point in the season?
• And I don't mean to jump on the bandwagon with this, but this Guardian project is as bad as Chaka Khan at the Awards Show. Especially when they're all rip-offs.

Its Starting to Grow Mold

Its depressing to think that nothing fresh has been added to the fridge since the start of the season. Always having good intentions to start only to discover that this blogging interface has found a new way to piss you off. Whether its out of need or necessity, I felt the urge once again to give it a go, despite the inability to produce and break stories like the rest of the web wunderkind. Its Cyber Monday, (the next new greeting card holiday), and I don't feel like shopping or working, so we'll wade our way through the hilarical hijinks of this crazy League.

I owe Dustin Byfuglien an apology.
I predicted him to be a smug, unhappy fuck, begrudging the fact that he wasn't a retainable piece of the 2009 Blackhawks and instead being sent to one of the now many hockey hells in Atlanta. He was shifted back to defense, where he has shown defense but servicable ability, and has turned on a committed sense of leadership and desire to get this anchor of a franchise back on the boat and moving again. This week named one of the NHL's three stars with a 4 point game against Boston, and potting 9 goals and 16 assists for 25 points so far on the year. There's no sense of entitlement from him, just a good team guy laying it out on the line in a nearly empty arena.

Woe is Me.
Using that shitty lead in, I promise not to use the word woes when talking about attendance. It has been downright painful to look up from the ice and see tons of empty seats in the lower levels. Atlanta has always been bad, the Islanders can't give away seats, and Dallas is suffering badly. Even teams with good attendance wait until about 10 minutes into each period before the seats get filled back up. Hockey Night in Canada puts on full display the ACC bombthreat that gets called in at the start of the period.

Is this a good time to talk about contraction?
I don't know about you, but despite the fact that the game is more competitive than it has been in years, I'm starting to get the feeling that the talent pool really is watered down. When there's a regular story on Lee Stempniak's production, or lack there of, or Kevin Bieksa's potential LZ for a trade or how Cal Clutterbuck's mustache is growing. There are more than a handful of teams who have landed themselves in a perpetual vacuum of suck. Whether its by not offering the dough, or more importantly not being a desirable place to play, marquee players are staying away in droves and its a system that I only see continuing until the bottom falls out.

And you're left there hanging.
As the franchise moves from Long Island, to Stupidmoveville, to eventually Dumenuftotakem, the braintrust of WangSnow have decided to release Scott Gordon from the torture of coaching that godforsaken team. In the interest of doing something/anything, they'll use Gordon as a scapegoat for an AHL team playing in the NHL. And replace him with... wait for it... an AHL coach. Sound logic. Does that move strike you as something that would pull you out of a 14game losing streak? Here's the thing that gets me... These two idiots have admitted that the team is in a re-building phase, and Gordon was hired to see that shit through, come hell or high water. You've pretty much conceded the team's a loser for the season by putting together that roster, is this an attempt to show the fans you haven't done that already? And instead putting you further back from a successful season than you were a moment ago?

Who didn't see this coming?
Toronto getting impatient? Nahhh! The center of the hockey world can't wait the typical 5 to 30 year plan of franchise rebuilding? Who could have predicted that? Burke's making moves to make this team better, but it'll never be enough, the expectations are unrealistic. And they want to can Wilson because the team can't get it done? They'd be as dumb as the Islanders if they followed that genious thinking.

Kessel's made of cardboard.
With that said, Kessel is about as worthless as a hockey player as Ilya Kovalchuk. Sure, you can say these guys are purely offense but when you do the same two or three moves (1:44) when you're coming into the offensive zone this is going to happen to you more often than not.

Taking 'em down a peg or two.
And with a severe Napoleon Complex, its going to make it even worse. Tom Benjamin took the boots to reliable sports newsman Damien Cox after he took it upon himself to tear down Tyler Dellow's work on Collie Campbell's GMail account. Cox took the typical, "he's just a fat fuck blogger sitting in his mother's basement," line on Dellow without giving him credit for doing all the legwork on that story. Tommy reminds Cox about his shotty journalism unaccountability capping it off with the early, and inaccurate posting of Pat Burns death weeks before it happened. I'll admit it, I love Benjamin and I hate Cox, but you've got to admit what's right is right. Cox is an opinionated journalist who likes to make news instead of reporting it. Benjamin's a no-nonsense whistle blower, who when he smells shit, he calls it shit.

I'd like to get into the whole Campbell thing, but I'm not gonna, not at this point anyway. Hopefully another time, but I've promised shit before and didn't deliver, and it'll get old and something else will stir the pot. So until then.

2010 Prediction Wrap Up

Okay let’s package the fucker up…

Western Conference Finals – San Jose Sharks vs. Los Angeles Kings

I don’t know why, but that’s what I got. I think everyone’s given up on the Sharks, and that’s probably exactly what they needed. I think the Kings are going to surprise a lot of people, but just come up short, putting San Jose as the West representative. A more likely situation will have the Kings advancing a round further that last season, and the Sharks bowing out to Vancouver. I just can’t put the Canucks in there, I want them in there so badly, that I think its clouding my judgment, so I’m keeping them out.

Eastern Conference Finals – Washington Capitals vs. Philadelphia Flyers

I like this matchup, but I see Philly taking it, and the eventual prize as well. Frustration ensues for the Red Russians.

Stanley Cup Finals – San Jose Sharks vs. Philadelphia Flyers

Its anyone’s guess as to who would win this one, but given the Sharks record, and Philadelphia’s bitter defeat last season, its easy to see the Flyers taking it. Now watch they’ll both be out in the first round.

Stanley Cup goes to... Philadelphia with big props to Peter Laviolette, Mike Richards, Chris Pronger, and some goalie who we’ve never heard of before. Claude Giroux to snatch the Conn Smythe with a huge playoffs.

More Awards...

Hart goes to… Joe Thornton. Points race too. Oh shit I blew the surprise.

Art Ross… Joe Thornton. It is a contract year folks.

Vezina… I think this year it will finally go to Luongo, but some young upstart like Bernier will probably chase him.

Speaking of young upstarts, the Calder will go to… Is Bernier even eligible, I’ll give him my vote.

Selke… Mike Richards, I’m starting to get predictable in my picks. Datsyuk will have an injury-filled year, and Kesler will just miss once again.

Norris… Drew Doughty runs away with it. Duncan Keith’ll give ‘em a fight to hold on to it though.

Jack Adams… Terry Murray gets kudos for getting the Kings to where they are towards the end of the season.

Presidents Trophy once again goes to Washington. Easy conference.

That’s it, I’m available for hire to entertain at parties, or any other events where a good laugh is needed. We're cranking it back up again over here, I just can't quit you, you dumb, fucking game. Managed to scrounge up enough change to get Center Ice hooked up again. Best spot to panhandle... Freeway off ramps.

Enjoy the season, you big, dumb animals.

2010 East Predictions

When doing these predictions, its so easy to see these teams in three separate groups; definite playoff teams, bubble team, and shit-out of-luck teams. The East usually gets ragged on for being a much less competitive Conference than the West, and I don’t expect this year to be any different.

I expect Washington to once again take the top spot in the East, rounded out by Pittsburgh in the Atlantic, and Boston in the Northwest. I don’t think Philadelphia’s goaltending roundhouse will be as much of an issue as it appears to be, and the Flyers will probably finish with more points than the B’s.

But the top 8 should look something like this…

1. Washington Capitals

2. Pittsburgh Penguins

3. Boston Bruins

4. Philadelphia Flyers

5. New Jersey Devils

6. Tampa Bay Lightning

7. Montreal Canadiens

8. Buffalo Sabres

Again, not too crazy about the Sabres, but I think Miller will put that team on his back once again and lug them into a first round exit. Montreal is already having a rough go, going with Price instead of Halak, but I expect them to squeak in with the lack of competition. I have Toronto and Atlanta much improved, but on the outside looking in. I just can’t see Ottawa sniffing anywhere near a berth this year with their goaltending woes, and I may be crazy to have them this low but fuck it. What have they done for me lately? I like the Isles to beat out the Rangers just ‘cause its funner, and I think Florida will be way out in front of taking the “shittiest team in the League” title. Carolina just in front of them.

Mistakes? Pittsburgh always seems to be a much better team in the postseason than the regular season, but I expect the opposite to be true for no good reason other than my opinion. Bruins get third by default, despite having two rivals in the top 8 as well. Putting the Devils that low is really defying the typical magic they pull when the season comes to a close, but I do not expect the Kovalchuk experiment to work this year either, as well as MacLean’s honeymoon. Tampa is obviously a long shot but considering the good vibes radiating off of Stevie Y from down in the Bay, you can’t help but toss them into the mix. Not including Ottawa will probably be a mistake, but like I said before, fuck it.

Well I’ll smash the last two posts into something vaguely readable in a wrap-up, and then we’ll finally get a puck drop.

2010 West Predictions

Once again its time for pointless predictions of how an 82 game season involving 30 teams will iron out before even one game it played. Considering last season’s predictions went something like 4 for 8 in the West and 6 for 8 in the East, and I missed just about every Division and Conference finish for each team, I wouldn’t trust this shit any further than I could throw it. And in order to streamline the process and limit the endless bullshit that I could write, I’ll keep it real simple and name those teams in it or out of it, learning from previous mistakes for a change. We’ll kick off the West today, and hit the East sometime in the near future, preferably before Thursday to keep this shit legitimate. That’s what we strive for here at "the Grip," legitimacy.

As the true sucker I am, I’m going with the Sharks to take the points lead in the Western Conference, followed closely by Detroit. I think Vancouver’s a shoe-in to take the Northwest considering what that Division looks like.

So those are your Division winners, and if I had to break down the rest of the top 8 its gonna look like this…

1. San Jose Sharks

2. Detroit Red Wings

3. Vancouver Canucks

4. Chicago Blackhawks

5. Los Angeles Kings

6. Nashville Predators

7. Calgary Flames

8. Colorado Avalanche

Not too confident about the Avs being in there, but the Blues missing the postseason with their half-price jinx they put on the team. That's some bad juju right there. But I could see them or Phoenix battling for that eighth spot, but that was a miracle run for them last year, despite Tippett still a fixture. Dallas is in a pending sale, Minnesota is, well Minnesota, and Anaheim will need to reload for a few years. I like Columbus for last, just to piss some dickhead off, and I’d think Edmonton would improve with the young talent and nowhere to go but up. But you never know.

Mistakes? Well putting San Jose, the perennial regular season champion, back in that spot might be optimistic with the new goaltending situation, but I have a feeling that powerful offense will carry the load, the same way Chicago did last season. The Canucks will earn plenty of points in their Division but they’ll have some rough patches to keep them back a bit. Chicago, despite having a lot of keep personnel still in place, will be hungover with cockiness. The Kings will surge but still have some lessons to learn at the end of the season. Calgary could also be a mistake, but I have to think the last chances of Kipper and Iggy et al. will be the driving force behind that team, not to mention the misery of last season’s miss.

After doing a breakdown of the East, I’ll wrap it up into a neat little package, and make a few more pointless, unfounded predictions just for shits and giggles.

Back with Thoughts

What can I tell you? I couldn't stay away, I love this game, despite the fact that I constantly bitch about it. Back with some more thoughts as we struggle to get through the last few weeks of offseason boredom. And off we go...

Getting Warmer

Super cool that the NHL releases this new rules enforcement video to the fans as well as the teams.

Not cool that they have Sears-quality models pimping the NHL gear. If it's the stuff the pros wear, why can't you shove them into this overpriced crap? Besides, it's not like you don't make them do every other retarded promotional appearance. I might actually buy this shit if they did that. Except for those Carolina pajama bottoms. And I don't need to see Eric Staal modeling them with his brothers in their corresponding team's pajamas having a pillow fight either.

How cool is the NHL store? This cool. How did NASCAR not think of this first?

But why?

Souray for Commodore? Souray had a pretty heavy of helping of shit in his mouth when he started bad mouthing management last April and openly, as in stating it publicly to the media, that he wanted a trade out of town. Not the first to spurn Oil Country, and most likely he won't be the last. But the Edmonton front office attempted to push back, albeit almost six months later, by stating that the guy with a horrible first name, is not welcome at training camp, despite the fact that he said he would attend. Pick up your lunch pail and hardhat and head on into work, despite the fact that you got drunk at the Christmas party talked shit about the bosses, and then puked on your own shoes. I don't know how Tambellini expected to get any suitors by doing that, he's going to need someone really, really foolish to grab an injury-prone, aging defenseman. Cue Scott Howson and the Columbus Hobos. "We got Mike Commodore, interested?" Its a move by Howson in desperation of making some kind of splash in town before the season starts. Considering the players that have come through and sit presently in Ohio, Souray would probably be the best defensemen they've ever had, and that's downright depressing. The Oil are so desperate to get this cancer out of the room before it affects the young guys they might just take Commie off their hands for the next three years at $3.75 per. He makes the most of any defenseman on the team and he's been shelved to the third pairing. Anyone got a gun?

Well it's finally done. Kovy is contracted to be a Devil for what would conceivably be the rest of his career. 15 years, a cool $100 million to be paid out over that time for a guy who's as one-dimensional as a cardboard cutout of himself, and probably containing just as much substance. The League tossed in a $3million fine, and the surrendering of a third round pick next year, and a first rounder sometime in the next four years at the discretion of the Lamoriello, for good measure.

This one got a lot of talk around the campfire, Matt Duchene's little in-game tiff with his landlord Adam Foote. To me, it was a little overblown, its hockey, not tennis. What was more interesting in that game was Matt's sweet move in the shootout.

Howard Baldwin, the used-to-be owner of the Hartford Whalers, has been trying to get the buzz back in "the insurance capital of the world" with events like this. Now there's talk of re-naming the Hartford Wolf Pack to the Connecticut Whale. Painfully awful. Now that we're a decade into the new millenium, naming a sports team the Whalers is politically incorrect, despite it having one of the classiest logos in hockey history.

The new St. Louis Blues have their work cut out for them. After taking them on a remarkable run to the postseason in 2009, they've managed to get Andy Murray fired and replaced with Dan Bylsma's clone. They made the dental patient Tkachuk retire, put Kariya on a year-long furlough for mental health, and walked away from Chris Mason (Not Steve). But they somehow persuaded Montreal to give up Halak, and they've got a healthy crop of young kids in there ready to take up the charge. But this move may be counting your chickens before they hatch.

Sadness
Pat Burns is in bad shape, but he ain't dead yet. Leave it to Damien Cox to trust senile Cliff Fletcher's word without doing any, you know, fact checking and then tweet it for all the world to catch fire. Tough ol' Burns calls up B. McKenzie to let him know he's not dead, and to have him set those fuckers straight.

It really doesn't look good for Savard. The fact that he came back and played in the playoffs after suffering that concussion, only to start feeling the effects of post-concussion syndrome just before the season starts is really not good. It's no wonder why Chiarelli attempted to shop him over the summer, despite the fact that he had just signed him to a 7 year $28million contract extension. Savard's damaged goods at this point, and the Bruins are essentially fucked at this point if he isn't the same player he was, or if he can't go on. Example of why not to sign players to long-term deals #638.

While we're on head injuries, Bobby Probert's family has decided to donate his brain to a Boston University research project that's looking at athletic head trauma. It's a great thing that the family has done, but by the sound of it, it appears that Bob and his wife had discussed it prior to his passing. It's been the hot topic of last season with Savard and Booth going down, and there's no reason to see it fading away this season, despite the new legislation for blindside hits.

Unless the discussion moves to performance enhancing drugs in hockey. Nah, let's just sweep that back under the rug for a while, shall we?

What's New?
We're big Puck Daddy fans, but there's a new reason to enjoy the Yahoo hockey blog, and his name is Justin Bourne. Bourne's the son of Islander legend Bob Bourne, and he's had some first hand experience of attempting to claw his way to the big show with unsuccessful results. He started writing after giving it all up, and he's parlayed it into a few gigs with The Hockey News, USA Today, and now Puck Daddy (he wrote the last link about PED's). His spots have great insight into the world of professional hockey, and they've all been pretty good reads on PD so far. Check 'em out.

The re-built Atlanta Thrashers for real? New blood in town consists of a healthy portion of the team formerly known as the Blackhawks including Byfuglien, Sopel, Ladd, Eager, and via free agency, Dawes, Chris Mason (not Steve), Modin, and Meyer. Not a Cup contender but definitely a step in the right direction.

Speaking of the right direction and bringing in new blood, Jeff Vinik buying the Bolts might have been the best thing that's happened to the franchise since their Cup and subsequent lockout. He hires Stevie Y, who hires Guy Boucher as probably one of the most sought after rookie head coaches this offseason. He reassures Vinny that he's not going to move him, then goes ahead and re-signs fan favorite Marty St. Louis to keep the lynchpins in place. He trades for Simon Gagne to complete the 'South of France Connection,' and grabs Bergenheim, Moore, Pouliot, Kubina, Clark, Jones, and Ellis (who has problems). And brought back Steve Downie who had a career year last year lined up with Stamkos and St. Lou, despite his previous reputation. Not bad for a team in need of a new identity, both on and off the ice.

Mostly Bullshit
Seems like every mediot who ventures to pick winners and losers are hailing the Canucks as the heir to the throne. As I've said before, I'm a big believer in the thought that an SC winner has to suffer a hard loss at the hands of a victor in order to push them over the top. Given that the 'Nucks have lost to the Hawks in the second round for two years in a row, and the latest having them go onto win it all fits nicely with that philosophy. But for some reason I just don't see it, not yet, as much as I hate to say it.

Now that red pipe savior Roberto Luongo made the respectable move to give up the 'C,' the question now becomes who earns it? The race seems to be between two polar opposite contenders. In one corner you have Hank Sedin just coming off a career year with an Art Ross and a Hart trophy in tow. The polite, skillful Swede is as much a humble ambassador as Boutros Boutros-Ghali. And in the other, you have Ryan Kesler, shit-stirrer extraordinare. The brash, defensive specialist thrives on getting to the opponent in more ways than one. Most smart hockey people are leaning towards Sedin, to follow in Naslund's footsteps, and have a good rapport with the officials, which the Canucks so desperately need. But my gut, and Canucklehead nation says Kesler, as a heart-and-soul, leave it all out on the ice kind of player, like beloved Captain Trevor Linden. (Rumor has it that Hank's already been tapped.)

Kari Lehtonen might be soft, but he knows who's hard. The Finn with a girl's name may have stolen Dallas fan's hearts by electing one of the most beloved figures of the State of Texas to adorn his helmet. No it's not George Bush, its Walker, and Texas Ranger. The badass ginger has his double-fisting machine gun pose from 'Invasion U.S.A.' with shades, and his trademark karate kick, handsomely shown off in his 'Chuck Norris Action Jeans' advertisement proudly displayed on Lehtonen's new three-year deal helmet. Lehtonen's had some pretty sweet helmets before with Clint Eastwood on his last Stars helmet after the trade from Atlanta, and Heath Ledger as the Joker back in A-town. But he's also had some bad one's as well, check out Heika's list to see them all.

The Pop Stars have officially entered into the NHL courtship. Two Mike's have shelved both Hilary Duff and Carrie Underwood. We've already seen Duff put Comrie in her videos, but now Carrie has matched the deed by putting Fisher in her latest music video. No blowjob highlight in this one, but we do get a keen look at some crappy family photos, and Underwood's scrapbooking skills.

Belanger came out swinging after signing a deal with the Coyotes, with haymakers labeled for George McPhee. Belanger, his agent, and GMGM apparently had a verbal agreement for a $1mil plus deal, but the double GM asked Belanger to hold off, due to an ongoing trade negotiation and the handicapping that would go along with the signing. McPhee asked for a week to iron it all out, and Belanger gave him a month. In the meantime, the Caps organization assisted Belanger and his family with integrating into the community, recommending schools for his kids, and the like. Belanger thought it was all good until the days kept ticking by. By this time the pending trade had fallen through, and McPhee backed off on the deal, Belanger felt he had to sign somewhere. It ended up being hockey purgatory for almost half of what Washington had agreed to. In principle. Apparently, Belanger has filed a grievance with the powerless NHLPA, and his lawyer turned agent has successfully burned the bridge to Washington with his other clients by spouting off at the mouth. I understand Belanger's stance, especially when it comes to making arrangements for your family, but he should have pushed McPhee shortly after the week about signing a contract, and not waited a month. GMGM is just as much to blame for this PR blip, but was ultimately doing his job and that may require taking some shit from time to time, and working on two things at once.

Well that's all I got for now, I'm going to go panhandle to come up with enough scratch to get Center Ice or Gamecenter, whichever's cheaper.

The Stench of Desperation

There's a certain whaft of stink, whine, and complaint from the 'homeless' players collective. An odor that was strong enough to get whoever runs that sham of an organization known at the NHL Players' Association to carry out their first order of business since Paul Kelly was dismissed.

As we get closer to the end of the term for the current Collective Bargaining Agreement, we see just how dramatic "cost certainty" influences cap spending and the free agent marketplace. Plenty of players with multiple years of NHL experience are sitting by the phone, chewing their fingernails in anticipation of a call from their agent with a job offer from any team (exception: Edmonton Oilers, New York Islanders), and not some pain-in-the-ass reporter asking why they haven't signed a deal yet.

Not too long ago, more than a few of these guys would have been picked up on name alone, given their willingness to play another year and the bottomless pockets of team ownership. Now, veterans, middling bottom six forwards, and third pair defensemen alike are without someone dumb enough to pay them for their "storied history" and mediocre stats. Its a little surprising to see it all shake out, based on everyone's individual perceived value of a player's worth which has been skewed by the salaries we've seen in past years.

But now they've been humbled, and they asked the powerful NHLPA to post this propaganda (i.e. eHarmony profile) to generate interest and let all 28 ("No thank you Mr. Snow/Tambellini, I've already signed with a club in Liechtenstein") General Managers know that they're still alive.

The air of desperation is thick.

Seriously, Enough is Enough

Drop the fucking puck already. I'm so sick of reading about this kind of shit. Or this pile of crap that waits outside my door each morning. Just fucking go already, we're all done with you.

Can you tell I'm pissed? Maybe it's 'cause I'm at work on my day off. But maybe I should shut my dirty mouth and be thankful I still have a fucking job. A job that's not covering the bills, especially for Center Ice packages and XM subscriptions for NHL Home Ice. So the end of an era may be coming folks, this could very well be my 'Swan Song.' Either that or it'll force me further into the depths of the hockey blogosphere, and I'll be writing as frequently as I shit. So without further ado, let's try and shoot for 30...

1. The Abritrator's decision on Kovalchuk's ludacris deal has opened the door to the review of other suspicious long-term deals including, but not limited to, Pronger, Hossa, Luongo and Savard. The League has a period of time after registering the deal that allows them to begin a review of the deal, which is supposedly what they've been doing since these deals were filed which keeps the door open. I'll buy that as a legal loophole for the Pronger, Luongo, and Savard deals which are extensions that don't kick in until the start of this season, (which I guess is technically July 1st), but not for Hossa's deal who's already a year and a championship into it.

2. Speaking of reviewed deals, the MSM has painted a picture that Vancouver and Boston would be very open to the possibility of reneg'ing the Luongo and Savard deals, after second round disappointments and that whole concussion thing. The two franchises are "cooperating" with League officials into the review of the contracts. My thought is you don't offer multi-year deals like that without expecting down years somewhere in that time frame, and you sure as shit don't change your mind on a decision like that the year after you offer it. I think Gillis is committed to Luongo (obviously with a 12year deal) but I'm not so sure about Chiarelli and his questionable moves considering the distance they've put between themselves and Savard, and their concern about the lack of distance between Savard's skull and his brain.

3. In true Philadelphia fashion, Holmgren isn't having any part of that League review nonsense. That, and they actually want to keep Pronger.


4. Good on Mike Van Ryn for plowing the shit of a career ended early to join an OHL junior team as an assistant coach for the defense. Van Ryn was issued a shitty skeleton by birthright that prevented him from continuing as a pro, and decided to call it a day and join the coaching ranks. Van Ryn took a lot of shit from the Leaf faithful for being on the payroll without actually playing due to injury, here's to a healthy, and successful run as a coach.


5. Adam Burish on the Stars has some muted down connection to Sean Avery being there and subsequently shipped out, and back to the Rangers. Burish has been known to run his mouth, but not to the extent and spotlight grabbing that attention-whore Avery does.

6. Is this the first time in NHL history where a Stanley Cup winning goaltender may end up out of the League the following season? (Lockout years excluded.) As the start of the season draws closer I see that being more and more of a possibility. That is until a Flyers goaltender goes down to injury.


7. Speaking of the Blackhawks and the non-existent possibility that Niemi returns to Chicago, has anyone actually looked at last season's and this upcoming season's roster? Byfuglien, Sopel, Eager in Thrasher jerseys, Burish to Dallas, Versteeg to Tdot, Madden to Minnesota, I'm sure I'm forgetting some. So its Toews, Kane, Hossa, Sharp, Bolland, Brower, Kopecky, Keith, Seabrook, Campbell and Hjalmarsson. Oh and some old guy name Turco in net. Goddamn, they're still scary deep.


8. Then of course there is the whole pesky Huet, $5.625million for the next two years thingy.


9. Getzlaf's the new captain of the Ducks, right? Who else would it be, Paul Kariya?


10. Frolov to the Rangers makes a whole lot of sense for all the wrong reasons, doesn't it? I'm looking at you Glen Sather.


11. But Torts is psyched about it. That is until he turns him into a whipping boy.


12. No mention of how much Tortorella liked Sather's outright robbery of that saavy contract to Boogaard. And I don't think its coming in part two either.


13. The Isles on the other hand, are holding open tryouts to see what remaining free agents will take contracts at a quarter of what they are worth. Their prices are insane!


14. Seriously, these teams that spend barely enough to make the Cap floor, and who no self-respecting free agent wants to play for, when will it be time to just fold up shop instead of giving fans no sense of hope right from the start of the season? I know there are good years and bad years, but when no one wants to play for a team isn't that a sign that something's seriously wrong?


15. Sami Salo's horrific injury while playing some sick version of ball hockey is a little ridiculous if not outright unbelievable. The problem is that it puts the Canucks in as awkward a position as a Ben Stiller movie with a plethora of defenseman signed, while at the same time shelving the trade talk to move Kevin Bieksa and clear some salary. If not spots on the defense.


16. Matt Reitz over at Hockey from the Cheap Seats had a great post about how Gillis adding two puck moving defenseman (Hamhuis and Ballard) to join the one he already had (Erhoff) does nothing to solve the problem of power forwards camping out in front of Luongo. The way Hamhuis shunned all of his suitors (Philadelphia and Pittsburgh) to come to Vancouver made a lot more sense than trading Grabner away to get Ballard as well. Mitchell is still unsigned but cleared to play, and the intention is (was) to move Bieksa. Those are your grit/shutdown guys right there. Instead GM MG is building his defense like he did his offense with speed and a quick, puck possession offense. Sound like another team you know from the East?


17. I'm actually pretty surprised that no one has pulled the trigger on Willie Mitchell as of yet. The internal scouting reports must not read as well as the health clearance. Either that, or he's expecting more than he should after a half season with no playoffs on a team that desperately needed him in the post.


18. Bob Probert was working on a memoir of his life as a tough guy at the rink that his family has decided to go ahead and publish. Its called 'Tough Guy.' Not all people who work with their hands are creative individuals folks.


19. The Panthers have gone Shatner using the Priceline "Negotiator" system to name your own price for tickets to a game. Casual hockey fans love shit like this, but what about the season ticket holders who are shelling out top dollar for their seats, and have been for years in order to get the deal and the seats they want and deserve?


20. Foppa is doing the Favre. Just when you thought the Kovalchuk ordeal was sickening.


21. By the way, what kind of 'Mickey Mouse' operation is the NHLPA that agreed to select Bloch as the arbitrator, a man who worked for the NFL and was dismissed for being biased towards the League, and then sat idly by as they voided Kovy's contract?


22. Speaking of the NHLPA, ever thought about interviewing over there?


23. Any reason to suspect Kaberle actually being moved? No, none.


24. How does this shit happen in this day and age? The Capitals weren't even through the first round, do you need that much time to schedule an engraving?


25. Restricted Free Agents yet unsigned... Bobby Ryan, Carey Price, Marc Staal, and James Neal.


26. Someone tossed out the idea of throwing a long-term deal at Ryan with of course the cap circumventing cap hit in order to get his ass signed for longer than when the Getzlaf and Perry deals expire. It wasn't a bad one, that was of course until the League announced that they were looking at all long-term deals signed within the last decade or so.


27. We love walkinvisible, especially when she takes the NHL marketing/merchandising department to task. And rightfully so.


28. By the way, we're also Puck Daddy fanboys too. Just in case you didn't notice.


29. One last thing on the "Great Rejection"... Any reason why the League didn't put a stop to these long-term deals when they allowed the abomination of the Dipietro deal to occur? Between that and the Yashin deal, do you think those two alone could stand as the reasons to sink that once-proud franchise for good?

30. Could the Flames Heritage Classic jersey be any more hideous than the Habs jersey is boring? Especially after all those crazy jerseys we got to enjoy all two centennial season long.


I did it. How fitting is that? On what could be my last post, I finally hit the mark that Elliotte hits week after week. I applaud you sir. I applaud all of you. Thanks for reading.