Saturday, November 7, 2009

Anybody Can Be Cool... But Awesome Takes Practice

God damn right. How radical is that picture, looks like a typical bullshit '80s public service announcement that they used to make us watch in health class, in between learning about the vas deferens and fallopian tubes. Standard on VHS. The acting was awesome on those things.
Just some news and notes and highlights and shmilights from an almost super Saturday. 13 games around the League today, and just about one Awesome in every game. Not sure what I mean, hop aboard, lets go for a looksee.

The Matinee, Nashville Predators @ Los Angeles Kings
*Well it was a matinee out here.
*Dan Ellis backstopped a solid win against a rolling Kings team, after a miserable effort on Thursday from Rinne. And right after I gave him that glorious review. Ellis trying to steal that job back from the young Finn? Both in final year of contract.
The Awesome? Joel Ward's move on Quick for the Preds third goal.

The American Northeast Division Matchup, Buffalo Sabres @ Boston Bruins
*How is Boston winning this game? Oh, Ryan Miller's not playing. Neither is Lalime, (groin). Enroth? Didn't play that bad but looked out of position on a few goals, not unlike Mr. Jimmy Howard.
*Is Patrice Bergeron back? Or is he still woozy? He kinda looks like he's returning to form again with a season post-concussion under his belt. Although I must say that breakaway attempt was brutal.
The Awesome? Shawn Thornton with two scraps on the night, and two wins, (technically three). Whooped Montador's ass, and then finished strong on Gaustad.

Hall of Fame Game, Detroit Red Wings @ Toronto Maple Leafs
*You know its bad when... You get your ass handed to you by the 2-7-5 Leafs.
Osgood looked like shit. But don't worry, he never doubts himself. Fucking little prick.
*Gustavsson is a difference maker. Goaltending is crucial.
*The Detroit penalty kill was passive as hell. Dan Cleary was the only one working out there.
*Kessel gets a real crap goal for his first in Toronto, and the messiah has arrived. Can you imagine if his shoulder hadn't healed well and he was out longer, or if he didn't take 300 shots in the last two games? Shit, he would have been crucified. Now he's just delaying that until later in the season.
*How fucking useless is Todd Bertuzzi? A graph should be made. Mirtle?
The Awesome? The only thing better than the Red Wings losing, is the Rangers losing.

Vinny Returns, Tampa Bay Lightning @ Montreal Canadiens
*Vinny's got to be hurt right? Lecavalier is too good to be playing this bad without something else going on. Have you ever seen this guy play live? He's just pure, natural talent. I predict some time off in the near future.
The Awesome? Andrei Kostitsyn's double hit on two Tampa players for an icing touchup. Yeah, there wasn't much here.

Yeah, I don't know, New Jersey Devils @ Ottawa Senators
*Ottawa blows a two goal lead to lose 3 to 2. Three power play goals will fucking kill you every time.
The Awesome? The Devils are 8 and 0 on the road. Lemaire doesn't miss a beat. Not much here either.

The Worst of the East? Atlanta Thrashers @ New York Islanders
*Pavelec is the greatest thing since sliced bread, then looks like ass the next. I wasn't fooled.
*Who the hell is this guy Moulson? I've seen him chip shit in almost every night. WTF?
The Awesome? The Isles have won four straight at home. Yippee kaiyea motherfucker.

Missoura @ Pennsyltucky, St. Louis Blues @ Philadelphia Flyers
*Two Awesomes in one barn burner of a game.
Awesome #1 - The scrap between Cam Janssen and Arron Asham, best of the night.
Awesome #2, and bigger awesome - Chris (not Steve) Mason's stop on Fartsmell halfway through overtime. That was just awesome, that was fucking awesome. To make that save and then lose in the shootout does just suck, it fucking sucks.

Southeast Shootout, Florida Panthers @ Washington Capitals
*Cory Stillman, has still got it. Oh, he's only 36? Why does he look like he's a Korean War Veteran?
*Lots of Washington goals from whacks right outside the blue paint. Cats need to do a better job of clearing out the middle. Among other things.
The Awesome? Mike Knuble with a four point night, two goals, two assists.

If it wasn't for Bad Luck, Carolina Hurricanes @ Columbus Blue Jackets
*Carolina has lost 12 straight. That's completely unawesome.
*And Cam Ward gets his thigh sliced by Rick Nash's skate coming through the crease. If they weren't already fucked, I'd know what to call the shit they're in now. There have been rumblings of Schoenfeld making a move to shake things up in the locker room, but they haven't hit the panic button yet. Is Maurice the first to go? Do they pull the trigger to bring in a goaltender, or does Leighton earn himself another contract in his final year?
The Awesome? Steve, (not Chris) Mason's toe save a la Marty Turco.

Battle of Minnesota? Dallas Stars @ Minnesota Wild
*Does a Stars/Wild matchup have any special meaning? 'Cause no one else seems to care.
*On Zidlicky's goal, Grossman must feel like a total ass.
The Awesome? I guess Buttercup's shorthander ripped over Auld's shoulder was pretty cool.

Sloppy Seconds Eventual Fallout, New York Rangers @ Calgary Flames
*This was the game I devoted myself to for the night, unlike my family. Watched the whole thing through so there's lots of comments.
*Sean Avery's such a fucking chicken shit. He dodges the media all day so that he doesn't have to explain himself, and plays the entire game as if someone was about to take his fucking head off. As soon as he got the puck, he would dump it or just get rid of it. Fucking pussy.
*By the way, Phaneuf's hit on him in the third was not nearly enough. Don't think its over Vogue.
*Jarome Iginla in November is very different from Jarome Iginla in October.
*I love it when guys take it to teams that spurned them previously. Dawes helped on all three goals to down his old teammates.
*I think we should start keeping a camera on Tortorella every night. His facial expressions are hilarious.
*Higgins surprised me with some speed and almost beat Giordano to a lose puck.
*A lot of shitty, ticky-tack penalty calls in this game, only one powerplay goal.
*Surprised at how much Gaborik mouths off, he should let his game do the talking.
*Watching Mike Keenan fumble in the MSG broadcast was fucking priceless. Especially since they were playing Calgary. Its easy to see how he would lose teams if this is how he was in the locker room.
*Dubinsky blocked a shot from the point, Torts says out a while. Broken wrist?
*The hit on Drury? I don't know, it was too convoluted by homer announcers for me to even think straight.
The Awesome? Kirpusoff, the sole reason the Flames won.

Pacific Division Matchup, Phoenix Coyotes @ Anaheim Ducks
*Ducks weren't in penalty box for once, 6 minutes total.
*The Dogs almost climbed back into the game, with three goals in the third.
*Where is Giguere? Is he injured? I honestly don't know. Will Pogge ever get a start for the Ducks?
The Awesome? None from this game. Got tickets for a Phoenix game later this month. Going to take the temperature of the atmosphere around the Desert Dogs. Before its too late.

Would-be Stanley Cup Matchup? Pittsburgh Penguins @ San Jose Sharks
*Pittsburgh looked exhausted from a West Coast road trip, got their asses whooped. Game got billed larger than it actually was.
*Fleury got yanked after three goals on 14 shots. Not his best performance.
*I thought Brent Johnson's Zeppelin themed helmet would be bad ass, its fucking lame. And from the sides, those black Bauer pads make him look like he's wearing Cooperalls.
*Boyle's quick move to the outside, and even quicker shot for the goal was pretty sweet.
The Awesome? Douglas Murray has to be the worst skater currently playing in the NHL. You want some comedy watch that behemoth Swede(?) skate. Its like Fulton Reed playing for the Sharks.

Yeah, that's it.

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