2011 2nd Round Predictions

Yeah, I'm not cleaning that up. Sorry. But I will go ahead and brag about how I went six for eight in the first round, losing only the #4/#5 matchups in each conference. Even got number of games right in the Caps and B's series. Whoo! Big fuckin' deal. But if I look back to my predictions at the beginning of the season, looks like I had 6 of 8 right in the West for the postseason push, and 7 in the East. Got all three division leaders right in the West, but put Calgary and Colorado in, instead of Phoenix and Anaheim. Got two division leaders right in the East, swapping Pittsburgh for Philadelphia, and my one miss was plopping New Jersey in, instead of New York. Starting to look like I know what I'm talking about.

In any case, the 1st round was epic, only wish I got to see more of it. Four game seven's, and two on back-to-back nights, pretty sweet. Couple of things I noticed in that first round, where to start...

• Duncan Keith is a mean son-of-a-bitch. I thought the guy was pretty even keeled, but that mf'er really wants to win. He's a competitor.


• Speaking of competitors, Jon Toews is something else. That guy is determination.


• The Caps disposed of the Rangers pretty easily, but not as easily as they could have. A tougher team will expose that. Meet the Tampa Bay Lightning, who I severely underestimated.


• There is no way Ovechkin is 100%, which has been pretty obvious all season long. Here's the scenario, AO gets injured early in the season, he can play, but there's a potential for more damage if he does so. Caps brass have to weigh the options, shut him down for a healthy chunk of the season, losing their key personality for HBO and the Winter Classic, or let him gut it out. What would you do?


• Playoff teams of nobodies... Buffalo Sabres, or should I say Ryan Miller and the Sabres, the New York Rangers, the Nashville Predators, the Phoenix Coyotes. Which of those teams is still in the dance?


• Anaheim is another one of those teams, if you subtract their Big 3, since Hiller was already subtracted.


• The Sharks/Kings series was great, and the wee beginnings of another inner-state rivalry was born within the fans of each.


• The Phoenix/Detroit series was over before I had an opportunity to turn it on.

Enough of that, onto the picks...

West

#1 Vancouver vs. #5 Nashville

I can't tell whether its hate for the Canucks, or whether people have them labelled as the next Sharks. But I think Vancouver makes short work of the Predators, then again I said the Ducks would do that.

Canucks in 5.

#2 San Jose vs. #3 Detroit

This one is very hard to pick, and may be the best matchup of this round. On one hand you have a well-rested group of champions in the Wings who know how to win. Granted not as deep as in years past, but that lineup is solid, top to bottom. The Sharks are definetely deep, but its their delicate sensibility that makes us always question them. They always seem like they're ready to take that next step, until they get swatted out of the postseason. Its a guess...

Sharks in 7.

East

#1 Washington vs. #5 Tampa Bay

Here's my upset pick. I just don't think the Caps have it in them. They made some key acquisitions at the deadline, that were for sure, deep playoff pickups, but they just haven't shown that they've got what it takes to make a run. Tampa on the other hand, has two steady hands guiding the ship, Yzerman and Boucher, and they have this team believing with the pick up of Rolosson. I believe them too.

Lightning in 6.

#2 Philadelphia vs. #3 Boston

This series should be a lot closer, but it won't. Philly was slow on the draw, but now they've got the momentum, and they're going to run. Hard. Boston is out of gas, and looking miserable. The Habs were not the Cinderella they were a year ago for sure, they were just overmatched by the B's. But the Bruins are going to have to turn their game around to even have a shot at this series.

Flyers in 6.

2011 1st Round Playoff Picks

Hello all,

What a long strange trip its been, but more on that later. I'm here to get down my dirty picks before the puck drops tonight. I'll do my best to get in here and clean this up, but at least you know I didn't cheat by putting these down a game into the series.

Love to all.

West

#1 Vancouver vs. #8 Chicago

My how the tables have turned. Still there's no way of knowing what will happen in the playoffs.

Canucks in 6.

#2 San Jose vs. #7 Los Angeles

Interesting little NorCal vs. SoCal series. A lot of people had the Kings picked to do so damage. Who me?

Sharks in 5.

#3 Detroit vs. #6 Phoenix

It's like deja vu all over again. Go with heart or head?

Wings in 7.

#4 Anaheim vs. #5 Nashville

Nobody gives the Predators any credit and I can't either. Not when a team claws their way back into the playoff picture only to find themselves fourth in the West when it's all said and done.

Ducks in 5.

East

#1 Washington vs. #8 New York

Is this the year? Ranger fans are kidding themselves if they think they're playing spoiler this year. Then again, they usually are kidding themselves.

Caps in 5.

#2 Philadelphia vs. #7 Buffalo

Philly's on a rampage, and when they finish its going to be a bloodbath.

Flyers in 5.

#3 Boston vs. #6 Montreal

Too much masterbation on this one, but understandably so.

Bruins in 7.

#4 Pittsburgh vs. Tampa Bay

Not going to be as interesting as people think. Steel town rolls into Washington for a Winter Classic rematch. More masterbation ensues.

Pens in 5.

So there you go, no upsets, no sweeps, but a few sympathy wins for the unders. Chickenshit be thy name. Enjoy.

Still Thinking About It

Tampa Turnaround

• For all the right moves Stevie Y made in his first GM attempt in Tampa, the goaltending band-aid was the most over looked. Mike Smith was already in the stable coming off a banged up year, Niittymaki had left for San Jose on free agency, so Yzerman picked up Dan Ellis the same way. Smith/Ellis tandem didn't exactly create fear in opposing forwards and similarly probably didn't give the Bolts confidence from the back either. As you would expect, the two goalie's play has been mediocre at best all year, despite the fact that Lightning have been playing some incredible hockey with Stamkos and St. Louis at the forefront. So the immortal Wing picks up Dwayne Roloson, shipping what was left of the disastrous Dan Boyle trade from his predecessors, to the Island. Rollie pulls a 1-0 shutout in his first start, against the Caps no less, and then gets thrown in net the next night by Boucher for an 8-1 stinker against the Pens. Now you can't judge a trade based on two games, but at the very least they've added a veteran competitor who hates to lose, and hopefully in the process pushes either Ellis or Smith to get their shit together. My guess is that they'll be playing for the backup role regardless.
  
• As an aside, I think Friedman mentioned it, when Yzerman was asked why he didn't pursue Nabokov after the news that he had been released from his KHL contract, and instead pulled the trigger in Roloson, he stated that he didn't think Nabby would clear waivers.

Box Office Winter Ordinary

• HBO's 24/7 was a huge success in that it exposed the non-hockey fan to the game in an in-depth fashion, and allowed the rapid hockey fan to eat up all the nuances and intricacies of life between the periods for the players, coaches, and GM's. The selection of teams for the Classic was a yawn for most of us, chalking it up to a contrived rivalry, but it was genius for documentary using the two posterboys of the League to ham up the drama. The location was the real bust. I don't think Heinz Field strikes anyone outside of Pittsburgh as a truly memorable location like Wrigley or Fenway. The real disappointment in the series lies in the fact that it was only four episodes long.
  
• My next pick for the Winter Classic: New York Rangers vs. Los Angeles Kings in Central Park. Think about it, Bettman's always talking about how the TV ratings drive the markets, well here's the two biggest cities in the U.S. going to head to head with youthful teams showing a lot of promise. There's not a real rivalry there, but who are you going to match the Rangers up with? The sadness that is the Islanders? Or Devils for that matter? I know it'll never happen in terms of feasibility, but the League's going to have to keep coming up with new ideas, and you might as well start literally thinking outside the box (of existing sports stadiums) and go with a venue shakeup. Bangin Panger had some good ideas on the next Winter Classic.
  
• Oh, and somebody else mentioned this and I wholeheartedly agree, don't show other games that day either. The only other game I was looking for was the Heritage Classic and that wasn't scheduled for another two months.

Cursing the Canucks

• Ryan Kesler has taken a huge leap in terms of becoming a complete hockey player. Always known as a defensive centerman, his production has seen a dramatic increase at the other end of the ice. And its not like his benefitting from the telepathy of the Sedin's either, less than half of his goals have come on the powerplay where he's paired with the twins. With 41 points in 42 games, he's learned to shut his mouth and hit 'em where it hurts.
  
• Vancouver is humming right now aren't they? Too early to peak? That whole roster is playing well right now. Torres is playing some of the best hockey I've ever seen him play, Malhotra is still lights out in the dot, Raymond is playing well, Bieksa has turned it into something positive. It would be scary if Samuelsson actually got the goal scoring going. Somebody needs to piss him off, maybe tell him to fuck himself.

All-Snore

• I'll tell you I could not care less about the All-Star Game. I haven't even looked at the rosters, despite it being plastered everywhere in some sort of greasy combination with fans bitching about snubs, media whining about how players asked not to be included so they could rest, and the League boasting it as an important marketing event. While the idea of "Captains" picking the teams is novel, the game needs a complete overhaul to make entertaining (and remotely interesting). And who needs Captains for an All-Star Game anyway? Let the players pick the two Coaches (can't pick their own), and let the Coaches pick the two teams. I know the Coaches don't have the personality (unless we're talking Ron Wilson vs. John Tortorella), but I can't stomach another Crosby vs. Ovechkin makeout session.

Do You Smell Something?

• How fucked is Ottawa? Completely dysfunctional. Murray wants to fire Clouston, and Melnyk tells Murray if he does that he's gone too. Frankly that's the best idea I've heard come out of that organization.
  
• Wanna see parity? Check out the glut in spots 1 through 12 in the Western Conference.
  
• Wanna see a distinct separation between playoff teams and non-playoff teams? Look at the Eastern Conference.
  
• The lowest scoring team in the West (Edmonton) has the lowest scoring team in the East (New Jersey) beat by 25 goals. And a -55 in goal differential I might add.
  
• This shit between Langenbrunner and Lemaire had to come to a head at some point after catching whiffs of it stemming from last year when Lemaire was at the helm before retiring. Again. I think it's pretty obvious that Kovalchuk's arrival rubbed Jaime the wrong way, and the $100million offseason and subsequent abysmal year following probably didn't help matters.
• The Pacific Division has three teams in the top 8 spots, Dallas (Leader), Phoenix, and Anaheim. Los Angeles and San Jose are on the outside looking in right now, how many of you would have predicted that even at this point in the season?
• And I don't mean to jump on the bandwagon with this, but this Guardian project is as bad as Chaka Khan at the Awards Show. Especially when they're all rip-offs.

Its Starting to Grow Mold

Its depressing to think that nothing fresh has been added to the fridge since the start of the season. Always having good intentions to start only to discover that this blogging interface has found a new way to piss you off. Whether its out of need or necessity, I felt the urge once again to give it a go, despite the inability to produce and break stories like the rest of the web wunderkind. Its Cyber Monday, (the next new greeting card holiday), and I don't feel like shopping or working, so we'll wade our way through the hilarical hijinks of this crazy League.

I owe Dustin Byfuglien an apology.
I predicted him to be a smug, unhappy fuck, begrudging the fact that he wasn't a retainable piece of the 2009 Blackhawks and instead being sent to one of the now many hockey hells in Atlanta. He was shifted back to defense, where he has shown defense but servicable ability, and has turned on a committed sense of leadership and desire to get this anchor of a franchise back on the boat and moving again. This week named one of the NHL's three stars with a 4 point game against Boston, and potting 9 goals and 16 assists for 25 points so far on the year. There's no sense of entitlement from him, just a good team guy laying it out on the line in a nearly empty arena.

Woe is Me.
Using that shitty lead in, I promise not to use the word woes when talking about attendance. It has been downright painful to look up from the ice and see tons of empty seats in the lower levels. Atlanta has always been bad, the Islanders can't give away seats, and Dallas is suffering badly. Even teams with good attendance wait until about 10 minutes into each period before the seats get filled back up. Hockey Night in Canada puts on full display the ACC bombthreat that gets called in at the start of the period.

Is this a good time to talk about contraction?
I don't know about you, but despite the fact that the game is more competitive than it has been in years, I'm starting to get the feeling that the talent pool really is watered down. When there's a regular story on Lee Stempniak's production, or lack there of, or Kevin Bieksa's potential LZ for a trade or how Cal Clutterbuck's mustache is growing. There are more than a handful of teams who have landed themselves in a perpetual vacuum of suck. Whether its by not offering the dough, or more importantly not being a desirable place to play, marquee players are staying away in droves and its a system that I only see continuing until the bottom falls out.

And you're left there hanging.
As the franchise moves from Long Island, to Stupidmoveville, to eventually Dumenuftotakem, the braintrust of WangSnow have decided to release Scott Gordon from the torture of coaching that godforsaken team. In the interest of doing something/anything, they'll use Gordon as a scapegoat for an AHL team playing in the NHL. And replace him with... wait for it... an AHL coach. Sound logic. Does that move strike you as something that would pull you out of a 14game losing streak? Here's the thing that gets me... These two idiots have admitted that the team is in a re-building phase, and Gordon was hired to see that shit through, come hell or high water. You've pretty much conceded the team's a loser for the season by putting together that roster, is this an attempt to show the fans you haven't done that already? And instead putting you further back from a successful season than you were a moment ago?

Who didn't see this coming?
Toronto getting impatient? Nahhh! The center of the hockey world can't wait the typical 5 to 30 year plan of franchise rebuilding? Who could have predicted that? Burke's making moves to make this team better, but it'll never be enough, the expectations are unrealistic. And they want to can Wilson because the team can't get it done? They'd be as dumb as the Islanders if they followed that genious thinking.

Kessel's made of cardboard.
With that said, Kessel is about as worthless as a hockey player as Ilya Kovalchuk. Sure, you can say these guys are purely offense but when you do the same two or three moves (1:44) when you're coming into the offensive zone this is going to happen to you more often than not.

Taking 'em down a peg or two.
And with a severe Napoleon Complex, its going to make it even worse. Tom Benjamin took the boots to reliable sports newsman Damien Cox after he took it upon himself to tear down Tyler Dellow's work on Collie Campbell's GMail account. Cox took the typical, "he's just a fat fuck blogger sitting in his mother's basement," line on Dellow without giving him credit for doing all the legwork on that story. Tommy reminds Cox about his shotty journalism unaccountability capping it off with the early, and inaccurate posting of Pat Burns death weeks before it happened. I'll admit it, I love Benjamin and I hate Cox, but you've got to admit what's right is right. Cox is an opinionated journalist who likes to make news instead of reporting it. Benjamin's a no-nonsense whistle blower, who when he smells shit, he calls it shit.

I'd like to get into the whole Campbell thing, but I'm not gonna, not at this point anyway. Hopefully another time, but I've promised shit before and didn't deliver, and it'll get old and something else will stir the pot. So until then.

2010 Prediction Wrap Up

Okay let’s package the fucker up…

Western Conference Finals – San Jose Sharks vs. Los Angeles Kings

I don’t know why, but that’s what I got. I think everyone’s given up on the Sharks, and that’s probably exactly what they needed. I think the Kings are going to surprise a lot of people, but just come up short, putting San Jose as the West representative. A more likely situation will have the Kings advancing a round further that last season, and the Sharks bowing out to Vancouver. I just can’t put the Canucks in there, I want them in there so badly, that I think its clouding my judgment, so I’m keeping them out.

Eastern Conference Finals – Washington Capitals vs. Philadelphia Flyers

I like this matchup, but I see Philly taking it, and the eventual prize as well. Frustration ensues for the Red Russians.

Stanley Cup Finals – San Jose Sharks vs. Philadelphia Flyers

Its anyone’s guess as to who would win this one, but given the Sharks record, and Philadelphia’s bitter defeat last season, its easy to see the Flyers taking it. Now watch they’ll both be out in the first round.

Stanley Cup goes to... Philadelphia with big props to Peter Laviolette, Mike Richards, Chris Pronger, and some goalie who we’ve never heard of before. Claude Giroux to snatch the Conn Smythe with a huge playoffs.

More Awards...

Hart goes to… Joe Thornton. Points race too. Oh shit I blew the surprise.

Art Ross… Joe Thornton. It is a contract year folks.

Vezina… I think this year it will finally go to Luongo, but some young upstart like Bernier will probably chase him.

Speaking of young upstarts, the Calder will go to… Is Bernier even eligible, I’ll give him my vote.

Selke… Mike Richards, I’m starting to get predictable in my picks. Datsyuk will have an injury-filled year, and Kesler will just miss once again.

Norris… Drew Doughty runs away with it. Duncan Keith’ll give ‘em a fight to hold on to it though.

Jack Adams… Terry Murray gets kudos for getting the Kings to where they are towards the end of the season.

Presidents Trophy once again goes to Washington. Easy conference.

That’s it, I’m available for hire to entertain at parties, or any other events where a good laugh is needed. We're cranking it back up again over here, I just can't quit you, you dumb, fucking game. Managed to scrounge up enough change to get Center Ice hooked up again. Best spot to panhandle... Freeway off ramps.

Enjoy the season, you big, dumb animals.

2010 East Predictions

When doing these predictions, its so easy to see these teams in three separate groups; definite playoff teams, bubble team, and shit-out of-luck teams. The East usually gets ragged on for being a much less competitive Conference than the West, and I don’t expect this year to be any different.

I expect Washington to once again take the top spot in the East, rounded out by Pittsburgh in the Atlantic, and Boston in the Northwest. I don’t think Philadelphia’s goaltending roundhouse will be as much of an issue as it appears to be, and the Flyers will probably finish with more points than the B’s.

But the top 8 should look something like this…

1. Washington Capitals

2. Pittsburgh Penguins

3. Boston Bruins

4. Philadelphia Flyers

5. New Jersey Devils

6. Tampa Bay Lightning

7. Montreal Canadiens

8. Buffalo Sabres

Again, not too crazy about the Sabres, but I think Miller will put that team on his back once again and lug them into a first round exit. Montreal is already having a rough go, going with Price instead of Halak, but I expect them to squeak in with the lack of competition. I have Toronto and Atlanta much improved, but on the outside looking in. I just can’t see Ottawa sniffing anywhere near a berth this year with their goaltending woes, and I may be crazy to have them this low but fuck it. What have they done for me lately? I like the Isles to beat out the Rangers just ‘cause its funner, and I think Florida will be way out in front of taking the “shittiest team in the League” title. Carolina just in front of them.

Mistakes? Pittsburgh always seems to be a much better team in the postseason than the regular season, but I expect the opposite to be true for no good reason other than my opinion. Bruins get third by default, despite having two rivals in the top 8 as well. Putting the Devils that low is really defying the typical magic they pull when the season comes to a close, but I do not expect the Kovalchuk experiment to work this year either, as well as MacLean’s honeymoon. Tampa is obviously a long shot but considering the good vibes radiating off of Stevie Y from down in the Bay, you can’t help but toss them into the mix. Not including Ottawa will probably be a mistake, but like I said before, fuck it.

Well I’ll smash the last two posts into something vaguely readable in a wrap-up, and then we’ll finally get a puck drop.

2010 West Predictions

Once again its time for pointless predictions of how an 82 game season involving 30 teams will iron out before even one game it played. Considering last season’s predictions went something like 4 for 8 in the West and 6 for 8 in the East, and I missed just about every Division and Conference finish for each team, I wouldn’t trust this shit any further than I could throw it. And in order to streamline the process and limit the endless bullshit that I could write, I’ll keep it real simple and name those teams in it or out of it, learning from previous mistakes for a change. We’ll kick off the West today, and hit the East sometime in the near future, preferably before Thursday to keep this shit legitimate. That’s what we strive for here at "the Grip," legitimacy.

As the true sucker I am, I’m going with the Sharks to take the points lead in the Western Conference, followed closely by Detroit. I think Vancouver’s a shoe-in to take the Northwest considering what that Division looks like.

So those are your Division winners, and if I had to break down the rest of the top 8 its gonna look like this…

1. San Jose Sharks

2. Detroit Red Wings

3. Vancouver Canucks

4. Chicago Blackhawks

5. Los Angeles Kings

6. Nashville Predators

7. Calgary Flames

8. Colorado Avalanche

Not too confident about the Avs being in there, but the Blues missing the postseason with their half-price jinx they put on the team. That's some bad juju right there. But I could see them or Phoenix battling for that eighth spot, but that was a miracle run for them last year, despite Tippett still a fixture. Dallas is in a pending sale, Minnesota is, well Minnesota, and Anaheim will need to reload for a few years. I like Columbus for last, just to piss some dickhead off, and I’d think Edmonton would improve with the young talent and nowhere to go but up. But you never know.

Mistakes? Well putting San Jose, the perennial regular season champion, back in that spot might be optimistic with the new goaltending situation, but I have a feeling that powerful offense will carry the load, the same way Chicago did last season. The Canucks will earn plenty of points in their Division but they’ll have some rough patches to keep them back a bit. Chicago, despite having a lot of keep personnel still in place, will be hungover with cockiness. The Kings will surge but still have some lessons to learn at the end of the season. Calgary could also be a mistake, but I have to think the last chances of Kipper and Iggy et al. will be the driving force behind that team, not to mention the misery of last season’s miss.

After doing a breakdown of the East, I’ll wrap it up into a neat little package, and make a few more pointless, unfounded predictions just for shits and giggles.