A One Off... and the Mask

I'm just going to throw out names or teams and a quick comment or two on each just to keep it breezy. Only got to watch the Kings vs. Canucks game last night, and as Terry Murray eloquently put it, it was "a great road game" for the 'Nucks as beat up and depleted as they were, and the Kings really should have beat them. So my first thoughts lead out with players from that game. And a here we go...

• Raycroft - My old buddy. Wasn't spectacular in the win, but he made some saves and got the job done. He had a nice poke check followed up with a lucky stab with the glove to keep the puck out and the game even. The paint job on his helmet is atrocious, folks we are running out of ideas.
• Kopitar - Is finally getting the respect he deserves. Kings fans have known that he's an elite talent that hasn't gotten his due as he's just starting to now. He's not lights out like Ovechkin or Malkin but he's pretty fucking good.
• Drewiskie - Has really impressed me in his last few games. He's been aggressive enough to jump up into the play, not all that common for a rookie defenseman with other heralded offensive defenseman on the blueline, (Johnson, Doughty).
• Ehrhoff - Is a shitty defenseman, bottom line. I have watched this guy intently, looking for a reason to like him, and I can't find it. He's been lucky enough to be part of two teams with great defenses to not make his shortcomings as apparent.
• Samuelsson - A lazy bastard with great hockey sense. This is one of those guys that just has a nose for the net, an inate hockey sense, but he's so fucking lackadaisical that he'll never be as great as he could be, unless some coach, maybe AV, kicks him in the ass.

Okay lets move on from that game, random odds and ends...

• Penner - has 9 goals. He had 17 total last season.
• Stamkos - also has 9 goals. Starting to look like he's having fun out there.
• Marty St. Louis - has points in all 10 games this season.
• Tanguay - 1st goal of the season last night, key acquisition at the deadline, (read: scraping the bottom of the barrel.)
• Wolski - There was an article on NHL.com about how Colorado Head Coach Joe Sacco told Wojtek that he needs to get his ass in gear. His patience in the GW goal against Calgary was awesome, just waited everyone out. Had a goal the night before then too.
• Crosby - Got a hat trick just in time to silence the media critics about his lack of production, and his disappearance within the Top 25 of the scoring race.

Teams...

• Boston - Are they a shell of the team they once were or what?
• Buffalo - Who would have thought Buffalo would be this strong this year?
• Atlanta - Did you see how empty the building was in the game last night against Ovechkin and the Caps? That is not a good sign, for any market. Its been pretty obvious in a lot of games this season that the lower bowl is pretty empty, and I'm not talking about just in the first period.

How 'bout we hit the 'tenders...

• Var-LAHM-ov - 5 wins for 5 games, impressive. And Teddy's actually not playing terribly either.
• Bryzgalov - Got his 3rd shutout of the year. I knew this guy was bound for great things, I just didn't know if it would be apparent in Phoenix. He needs to be good every night for the Coyotes for them to have a shot at winning. He can be.
• Jimmy Howard - Is this guy a mess or what? Totally out of position, did you see those Edmonton goals? I don't know if he's a nervous wreck playing for Babcock or what.
• Gustavsson - Continues to impress me. I may be the only one, or it may be the fact that the rest of the team is so unimpressive.

Speaking of goaltenders, the NHL Network has really been pumping up this 50 Years Behind the Mask show that airs at 7pm ET/4pm PT on Saturday night. Last night they had David Arrigo from The Art of Sport on the 'Fly' last night, and he was talking about all the masks he's been painting for various goalies around the league. And TSN had a poll for who has the best mask around the League. The poll results are bullshit, (Luongo's lame ass can), but the gallery is really cool except for one thing. They tried to pick the best mask out of each tandem and post it for each team. Well I think they felt obligated to put some goalies in with better name recognition than helmet design. Brodeur's design, and Luongo's just suck. My two favorites are Pekka Rinne's and Tuukka Rask's, Josh Harding's mask is pretty bad ass too. Check out DaveArt.com for some great designs as well.

Enjoy Slobs!

Hockey Quiz

Who the hell likes taking tests?! Well according to web advertisers, almost everyone...

If this goes well, we may look to make this a periodic feature. Enjoy! Tell your friends!

Question #1: Who will be the first coach to get fired this season? And how soon?

Or should I re-phrase the question to how soon will Todd Richards get shitcanned? Barry Melrose made it to 16 games, can he beat that record? I don't believe Ron Wilson is going anywhere, at least not if Brian Burke is still in charge. I don't think anyone can expect that much out of Scott Gordon considering what he's been given to work with, even Mr. Wang (no offense). And DeBoer, Carlyle, and Trotz all have the blessings of their respective GM's. But what do you think?

Question #2: What loser gets the odds to pick 1st next year?

My guess is the Islanders with their overtime loss record. The over/under on that is 25.



Question #3: Are the Colorado Avalanche, and most notably Craig Anderson for real? Can they keep it up and make the postseason? If they do, does Joe Sacco win the Jack Adams?

I think they can do it, and if that's the case Sacco's a shoe-in for miracle worker.





Question #4: Will Ovechkin be the first player since Brett Hull in the 1991-92 season to hit the 50 goals in 50 games mark?

When he hits it, expect a new end zone dance.



Question #5: Is this the season that Kings make the playoffs? On the other side, is this the year that Detroit skips the dance?

No, sorry. No. Fuck.





Question #6: What contending but struggling team will seek goaltending help first?

Ken Holland sticks it out. The Bowmans' end up unloading Huet but part of the deal involves a blowjob in a broom closet. (3:38)



Question #7: If the Sharks can't win it all this year, is Patrick Marleau wearing a new jersey next season? If he goes, what's your best guess for his new address?

My take, Sharks make it to the Conference Finals, lose miserably, Doug Wilson blows up the roster, Marleau and Nabokov are gone. Marleau ends up in the Eastern Conference, Montreal if I'm put on the spot, but I didn't look into numbers, and my track record sucks.





Question #8: Who takes home the Calder, and then slumps the following year?

My earlier guesses of Hedman or Gustavsson are looking like shite, but I'll stick to my guns. Del Zotto looks very sharp, I'm impressed, Myers looks good as well, Tavares is about what I would expect on that crap team.



Question #9: Does Waddell get Kovalchuk to re-sign in Atlanta before season's end?

Yes, otherwise the team folds, but it probably goes late.



Question #10: We've already mentioned Kovy and St. Pat, so who's the next name in their contract year that we end up talking about all year?

There's a lot of interesting names out there at the end of their contracts, a lot of goaltenders. Some veterans we'd expect to stay put, if in fact they do return (Lidstrom, Modano), some with potential bad breakups in their future (Frolov, Toskala), and some that without a doubt should be re-signed (Gonchar, Chris Mason). Pekka Rinne is my #1 if Nashville doesn't take care of him sooner, then Jonas Hiller, if Anaheim doesn't take care of him, and then Alex Tanguay. Kidding.

Supa Scaterday

Well my hockey extravaganza got fucked royally since I had to listen to my father-in-law lecture about fuckknowswhat on a surprise visit. That was just all types of awesome. But in any case, Calgary/Edmonton was the only tilt I got to watch, (and the occassional flipping around on the late games), but tonight these guys were not smiling...

Sutter was all kinds of pissed after Stortini's run at Iginla by the benches, and Jarome's subsequent face smash to Huggy Bear that earned him two in the box. And Quinn, well, his team was getting pounded.

Speaking of Zack, this dude reminded me of Carl Racki tonight just hurling himself at anything in red, and whacking at the puck with the precision of a Special Olympics floor hockey tournament. The kind of dipshit who stands next to the net and tips in that easy shot because no one bothers to cover the waste of life, just like in the "well"-choregraphed hockey scenes of the movie. He was doing anything and everything to get that next shift, and Quinn kept giving it to him.

I commented earlier how Kevin Weekes wasn't half bad as a commentator on the broadcasts, but I realized its kind of hard to take him seriously when he's talking to all the young goaltenders out there, giving the tips on how to maintain your focus like Kiprusoff. Maybe you should have focused a little more in your career Kevin. But he did bring up Khabibulin's history against the Flames which I completely forgot. I'd want to kick the shit out of him every night if he kept me one win away from hockey immortality.

At times I thought Calgary was getting a hometown discount from the guys wearing orange. I could have seen them handing out a cross-checking penalty to Bourque on that first Calgary goal, but I'm glad they didn't, good no call. Langkow's pass back to Rene was a thing of beauty by the way. But the Flames power play is just killing it, great puck movement on the man advantage.

And I think Nigel Dawes might be the most underrated pickup of the free agency lot this summer. Between him and Sjostrom, their play is making Darryl look like a genius.

Other than that, Iggy's shooting at logos and not twine, that's gotta change. Edmonton needs Souray and Staios back badly. And probably a few more forwards. Khabby should have made it easy on himself and taken the tax-free contract in the KHL.

In Mother Russia, Hat Trades You!

'You like my hat, da?'

Thanks to the lovely lady of hit the post, walkinvisible, and my photoshop wizardry we now have this gem.

But that's not why we're here, no no. This forum just allows us to post dumb shit like that. No we're here because today is yet another Super Saturday.

Every team in the damn League is playing tonight, and being a patron of the CenterIce service, I fucking love it. It doesn't get any better, unless the games are spaced out more accordingly starting at 10am, Pacific Standard Time of course, and stretching all the way until 10pm. That's a slice of fried gold right there.

In any case, its late, and I'm hammered, and I'm not going to go through every game, Matt Reitz over at the View From My Seats does a far better job at that. I'll be keeping my focus on the Devils and Pens, and Battle of Alberta, Round 3, but I will do my damdest to be everywhere.

I'll take 2 nights of no hockey if we can have this scheduling every couple of weeks, any time. Unfortunately, six teams will have played the night before, and six will play the night after, we'll see how that plays into the equation tonight and tomorrow night.

Enjoy slobs, I know I will.

Notes from the Hockey World

Still looking for the right notebook image, as I look to make this a recurring post. Anywho, after doing my usual perusal of the interwebs and the glorious hockey information and news contained within, I felt the need to sound off on a few items. So if it's no more than just some venting on my part, then so be it, no particular anger or venom directed in any way. Unless we're talking about the Wings or the Rangers.

Speaking of which...

• Have you heard about how John "Heatley to the Sharks" Buccigross has pissed off the Wings nation by voicing the opinion that Z and Dats are past their prime and the team is now in decline? George Malik takes offense, and immediately gets defensive misinterpreting Bucci's take. And then the rest of the mutt patrol jumps on board and starts calling him out, of course. First of all, what Bucci said isn't all that far from the truth, and second, its his fucking OPINION.
  He said that Z at 29 and Dats at 31 are past their prime, and in the downward arc of their production. That's not unreasonable to think, they're still great players, and their past prime is better than half the league's peak season. As far as Detroit being at the end of their reign, again its not that outlandish a claim. I think its fair to say that the next wave of players for Detroit under Z, Dats, Franzen, Holmstrom, and Lidstrom have left for greener pastures. I'm referring to Samuelsson, Hudler, Kopecky, and that leaves kids like Helm, Leino, and Abdelkader to take over those roles in the coming seasons. Not to say all the aforementioned stars of Detroit are retiring at the end of the season, but the team does not have the depth it once did even from last season. Bottom line, I too have grown tired of Buccigross, and Z and Dats, and Detroit will still be awesome, just not as awesome. Fuck, just listen for a fucking minute you retards.
• Spector is throwing out ideas for the goaltending question mark of Toronto. The choices are J.S. Giguere and Josh Harding if Burke is in the mood to pull the trigger on a trade. Apparently, Burke is always in the market for good goaltending. Personally, I'm sticking with Gustavsson, and closing the door on Toskala, but if I have to choose between those two, without question its Harding. Josh is dying for the opportunity to be a number one, and if Backstrom wasn't so damn sharp, he'd have it. Giguere hasn't looked like a marquee goaltender since he got his ring, plus his contract is way too heavy for his value lately. But there are other potentials out there as Lyle mentions, old UFA's Manny Fernandez, and Curtis Joseph, and other trade options including Lehtonen, and one of the Islanders three goaltenders, probably Biron. More than likely, its just talk, as Burke likes to do.
• Pretty nice post by John Grigg of the Hockey News on the Top 10 Bargain Players, although I'm not sure you can throw Cam Ward in there at #1 with a $6.3mil/yr. contract extention, but he definetely was a bargain at $2.7/yr. Instead I'd replace him with Pekka Rinne's $725k contract, is that ridiculous or what?! Pekka's definetely getting paid at the end of the year, but by who is the question since Dan Ellis is also due for a new contract, (right now at $1.75mil/yr.). If I'm Nashville I'm extending Rinne's contract, and letting Ellis walk. Other than that the list is pretty good, Matt Moulson on there is a laugh, if its only the line, "When your leading scorer costs less than $600,000, you’re doing well." That's not good John, that's bad, the Isles are far from doing well.

As far as games I watched...

• Calgary vs. Columbus on Tuesday was a great hockey game. Iginla rifled an awesome shot on Mason, (Steve Mason that is, not Chris), that looked like a return to his former self. I think breaking up Jarome and Olli is the right move, put them together on the power play but separate them at even strength, they're both shooters, spread 'em out. The BJ's work ethic is awesome, I love that never-say-die attitude, that's going to win them games more often than not.
• Florida's game last night against Buffalo was atrocious. Clemmensen's quote, "It's the fastest I've ever been pulled." Ya think?! Two goals on three shots, less than 2minutes into the game. Granted one was on the power play, but the first one from Grier was brutal. Vokoun wasn't much better upon coming in, giving up another 3 in the first before closing the door for the rest of the game. But the damage had been done, and paying good money to see that shit, sucks. Refunds for the hundreds of people in attendance.
• I kept a close eye on the Vancouver vs. Chicago game last night, which I thought was the best playoff series in the West last post. Bob-O needed a big game in Chicago to disprove his doubters, which he more or less did, the two goals he let in were deflections. Mikael Samuelsson's rip past Niemi was awesome for the winner. I love Byfuglien's game, I can't believe Chicago is already talking about cutting ties with him in another year, after signing the big three. Willie Mitchell's hit on Jon Toews is the talk of the town today. My take, its legal, but its not really fair. You can't fault Toews for not expecting that hit coming out of nowhere, and to his credit and Joe Q's they admitted its a clean hit. Wobbly going off the ice, a minor concussion isn't out of the question. Listening to Steve Bernier in an interview is always hilarious to me, I never expect him to have that slurring French Canadian accent.

• Which brings us to the next item, the discrimination against French Canadian hockey players. As Malik said about Bucci, 'Bull, all of it.'
• Sergei Kostitsyn is a fucking idiot, his brother wants no part of him. Countdown to the defection to the KHL started when Gainey said, 'Hamil...'
• Any other DirecTV subscribers pissed about Gary's lack of activity in brokering a deal between Versus and the satelite provider? Hockey Joe nails it over on Gross Misconduct Hockey with his latest post, 'How's That Versus Dispute Going Gary?'
• Canadians love hockey, here's proof. See comments in previous post for background.
• Nice post on the Rookie race by Wysh. They all seem to be off to a good start, unlike Mr. Stamkos' stiffling from the Mullet last season.

I plan to get out another post, or a series of posts on the Contract Year Anomaly, and team's individual situations with regards to pending Free Agents, but as always, don't hold your breath.

If Your Not Tearing Up Laughing...

...then there's something wrong with you. You're probably a Red Wings fan.

Your dose of awesomeness from the Onion, 'Nation's Morons March On Washington State'

The Naked Shootout

If you could combine the debauchery of strip poker and the sport of hockey into a game, what would it look like?

Ladies and gentleman, the Tampa Bay Lightning, starring Marty St. Louis are proud to present to you...

The Naked Shootout


Some funny shit.