Thursday, April 1, 2010

Tid-Bits


Anybody remember these things, Tid-Bits? I used to eat the shit out of those little cheese sticks as a kid. That was until the snacking world came out with Better Cheddars and of course Cheez-Its. Well aside from the stroll down memory lane, this is what I have for you today, Tid-Bits.

Enjoy, you self-indulgent pig.

Where to start...

Who the fuck is this guy?!
Lee Stempniak has 13 goals, 3 assists in 14 games with the Coyotes. Who the fuck is this guy?! In 62 games with the Leafs earlier this year, he had 14 goals and 16 assists. He's already up to half that point total in a little over a dozen games with the Coyotes, who came over in a deadline deal. And now he gets named 1st Star of the month, like I said, who the fuck is this guy?! His career bests came in his sophomore season with the Blues, playing a full 82 game season, and netting 27 goals, 25 assists for 52 points. Phoenix has locked up a playoff spot, and has looked strong, despite the stinker that Bryzgalov had against the Canucks. The additions of Stempniak, Wolski, and Morris have solidified the confidence in this team, and they could present a real challenge for a second round ballot. Even if its Detroit.

Its Never Too Late To Say Die
Get this... After getting their brains beat in by the Kings by a score of 6-0, Nash and Umberger get down on their knees in front of their teammates and plead with them to stop making them look so bad. Finish strong, and with purpose. Play for the fans, for the city, and for each other. The rest of the team stands up and gives an unenthusiastic clap, Commodore leans over to Clitsome and mutters, "Nasher needs to work on his timing, its a little late for this speech, isn't it?"

No doubt Commie. To their credit, the BJ's have gone 7-2-2 since then. The troops have rallied!

By the way, interim coach Claude Noel looks as out of place behind the Columbus bench as plaid hockey jerseys. He looks like he just borrowed Kurt Russell's outfit from his Miracle speech. Love those pants.

The Truth Comes Out
A Sports Illustrated survey has unearthed the fact that Dion Phaneuf, former child star of the Calgary Flames turned disgruntled, self-centered Leaf, is an overrated flop. The title of "player whose reputation exceeds their performance" was earned through receiving 21% of the vote of 272 current NHL players. To no one's surprise, when asked if it bothered him it all, he replied, "No, not one bit... it doesn't hurt my feelings any." Awww c'mon Dion, maybe just a little bit?

"I won two Stanley Cups here, and they still Boo'd me."
That's what Patrick Roy told Carey Price the last time he fell on hard times with the Canadiens faithful. Yeah Pat, you also demanded a trade out of town from the Team President in front of the head coach, during a game. Price could be doing the same after getting boo'd by the Bell Centre crowd when being announced as the third star of the game, after a 2-1 loss to the Hurricanes. That gives new meaning to the term 'French Canadian Asshole.'

If You Ain't First, You're Last
The Colorado Avalanche have gone from Northwest darling to postseason squeaker in a matter of months. Panic has set in big time after losing 5-2 to the Ducks last night. So who's to blame? Anderson is tired seems to be the most likely excuse, and it could be Joe Sacco's rookie mistake in riding a hot goaltender too hard that spells doom for Denver. Calgary has clawed its way back into the picture, after being written off earlier this month, sitting two points back from the Avs who claim the last seat in the musical chairs game. The Flames making the postseason would be a smack in the face considering their shitty efforts against the Isles and Bruins earlier this week. But the Avs schedule is not too favorable with matchups against the Sharks, Canucks, and Blackhawks, not to mention a game against the Flames tomorrow. Oh the irony.

From the Top Rope
Hilarity ensues when the Kurtenblog gets a hold of the "truth" behind the Shane O'Brien suspension from the team.

And that's all... I'll be at the Honda Center tomorrow night for Ducks vs. Nucks, attempting not to be involved in a retaliatory strike for this incident. Hopefully I'll get video.

4 comments:

walkinvisible said...

this is one of the best tidbit posts i think i've ever read.

tidbits, or whatever they're now called, are the thing i pick out of the nuts and bolts my mum makes at xmastime.

that commodore photoshopping is still genius but i gotta say ? clitsome rules.

Nuuuuugs said...

Danke, danke.

Nuts and bolts are the classic bar room treat, I'm fiending for some right now, but all we have is goldfish in the office.

Clitsome is genius, only thing better would be if his parents named him Clint. Awesome pornstar name.

Matteau the Magic Wrap-Around said...

I wouldn't be affected by it if I was Dion Phaneuf either. He's still boinking Elisha Cuthbert and convincing teams that he has potential. He might even score points again someday.

Nuuuuugs said...

He convinced Burke he's still got game. Burke also thinks Komisarek has game. Just put some bodies into the boards, and we'll forget that you couldn't hit the broadside of a barn with that "laser."

Its only a matter of time before Cuthbert cuts him loose, and Dion starts hanging out with your boy Avery.