Thursday, July 16, 2009

You Really Got a Hold on Me

"I don't like you, but I love you."

Doesn't that just nail it for how Dale Tallon is feeling right now, or what? Pissed off they canned him after an incredible turnaround for a team that hasn't seen success since EA Sports was rocking Sega Genesis. Yet having to smile through his teeth, retain some bullshit position within the organization, and tell everyone, 'Whatever's best for the team.' That Smokey Robinson was really on to something there.

"I wanna leave you,
don't wanna stay here,
don't wanna spend another day here,
oh ho ho I wanna split now,
I just can't quit now."

I think its pretty obvious what has happened in Chicago, Tallon, nice guy of the hockey world, has become a casulty of a regime change. The Bowman clan, led by patriarch Scotty Bowman, one of the greatest hockey minds to ever grace the world, has staged a coup d'etat of the Chicago front office. They had their loyalists (John McDonough) and their insiders (Stan Bowman) placed to plant the seeds of destruction (the late RFA QO's), and poised to pounce when the balance of power shifted.

'Welcome new General Manager Stan Bowman, you may have heard of him, he is the son of Scotty.'

'What happened to Dale Tallon?'

'We're going to keep Dale on as an advisor, locked up in the basement of the United Center.'

How's that for a conspiracy theory?

Marty Havlat and his Twitter fetish has pretty much spelled out the sinister plot. Havlat doesn't strike me as a guy who would lie, if anything McDonough is the shining example of a two-faced politician. Not to mention the fact that Marty pretty much let slip that he has a heavy man-crush for Dale. Whether that qualifies his opinion or makes him look biased, the picture he paints of McDonough as a jealous bitch has the smell of a shoe that fits.

As for this RFA QO snafu, its really a bunch of bullshit. In the places you work, does the boss ever do any real work, or does he decide the numbers that will go in the blanks, have you type it all up, sign the document, and hand it back to you to deliver? I don't know about your boss, but mine loses his shit when he can't get Outlook to work. Using the copier/fax? Ha! That's what he pays people for. Tallon's a nice guy and all, but delegation is part of the hierarchy of the work place. No matter how important the document to be sent, its another day to day task that the boss doesn't do and doesn't know how to do. I'd put more stock in the theory that it got fucked up because Dale tried to do it himself.

Dale didn't do anything wrong, in fact he did a hell of job returning the team to relevancy. He simply wasn't their guy. This was a convenient excuse to use for dismissal. Remember Coach Denis Savard? He wasn't their guy either. I've already forgotten what the excuse was for giving Saavy the axe.

Tallon may have been guilty of being a little too generous, cue the Brian Campbell and Cristo "No" Huet jokes. And then of course there was the long-term deal offered to Marian Hossa, with threats of the Cap lowering as the economy sucks a fart out of (your favorite fat fuck)'s ass, all while the signings of Kane and Toews and Keith loom out there. But isn't that why you hire a "Cap-ologist"?

Wait, who's the number-crunching "Cap-ologist" for the Hawks? Oh that's newly elected mayor Stan Bowman.

So, now you have the one team in the league that's really fucked when it comes to salary against the cap, and you put the guy who's supposed to be watching the numbers in charge? The guy who already fucked it all up? Maybe this guy is the second coming if he gets the Blackhawks out of this mess.

He better be, otherwise a lot of top people in the organization are going to look foolish, including Scotty Bowman.

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