Gripping the Stick Too Tight

...and it All Comes Down to One Game

2011-06-15T09:51:00.000-07:00

Once again, here we are. Here we are at the brink of the end of the season. At the brink of a group of guys feeling like Gods with an unexpressable joy, leaving another group feeling so unbelieveably pissed off and disappointed for another year or maybe even, forever. Could you imagine? Playing all the way to a game 7 in the Stanley Cup Final only to lose, and never have the good fortune to return and reclaim that failure? Its as unbelievable as how you might feel if you won the damn thing.

Just a couple of thoughts to leave you with before the most important game of the season begins tonight...

This literally is the biggest game of their lives for all players involved. Honestly, the Bruins have showed up and played every game this series, even games they lost. The Canucks have obviously been exposed to show that they do take a night (or three) off, even in the most important series in franchise history.

Does home ice really carry all the advantage it appears to? The Bruins have exploded on home ice this series, the Nucks have won with a late goal in each game at Rogers Arena. If the finals were decided by score the Bruins have annihilated the Canucks. Considering they had a two game lead to start, that doesn't seem that far from the truth.

Without question, Tim Thomas wins the Conn Smythe, regardless of outcome. It could only be in doubt if the Canucks pay forward the Bruins the same schellacking they dished out in Game 3. Denying him would be completely unjust in the eyes of all 'just' hockey fans. He's been just about flawless.

On the Horton/Rome hit... I do believe the hit was late. I also believe that Horton was admiring his pass. That used to be grounds for being levelled at the blueline, a la Stevens on Lindros. Coaches in youth hockey would have been telling me to keep my head up if I got nailed like that. There's a responsibility for players to respect other players in terms of blatant maliciousness, but there's also a responsibility for players to protect themselves. The line is beginning to blur and that's not good.

Four games was a bit much in a Stanley Cup final. If Rome knows he's getting four games for cracking Horton, he pulls up on that hit guaranteed. The optics of Horton laying on the ice, eyes glassed, concussion clicking added to that punishment I'll bet.

Two awful things about Mason Raymond's injury... The first is that a stretcher wasn't brought out to take him off the ice. Just seeing that replay was enough for my unsubstantiated opinion to say 'immobilize him.' I wonder if that did any more damage by dragging him off the ice.

The second was the booing. I know it was the beginning of the game and the crowd is amped, but that shit is just awful. I bet if he gets taken off on a stretcher, there's a different reaction from the crowd before the resume of play.

Luongo has been godawful in Boston. I don't know if he shakes off his reputation even if the Canucks win tonight. Those first three in Game 6 were enough to make you vomit. Three goals on 8 shots. Get the fuck out of here. He should be downright ashamed for that, and play like a man possessed tonight.

A know-nothing-about-hockey friend was sitting with me watching Game 6, and he said, "If this goalie is so bad, and his backup is actually pretty good, then why aren't they playing him?" I didn't really have an answer other than, "because you don't want to damage his 'delicate sensibility'." That's pretty fucking awful. You are paying this guy over $5 million per for the next decade and he's probably the most fragile goaltender in the league.

Don't get me wrong, Luongo is a great goaltender, but only when he's on. He can manufacture a real stinker with saves that could've been made by a pee-wee. He's great positionally, and he works hard to improve. But you have a guy at the other end who is a Hasek-flopper, and plays on guts and instinct and you have to ask yourself which one you'd rather have in net tonight.

Its amazing how the media has really vilified Vancouver, team and city alike. NBC is definetely painting that picture assuming that all Americans are rooting for Boston. This slant is typically reserved for the visiting team by the local broadcast team. I guess that's not too far off.

Milbury is starting to gain ground in NBC's most annoying hockey personality against perpetual leader, the always creepy Pierre McGuire. Its pretty obvious that Milbury is really hamming it up to be a replacement for Don Cherry once he gives up the throne. But the most ironic part of all of it is that Jeremy Roenick mouths off about Marleau and that gets more press than anything that's come out of Mike's mouth. Not to mention the fact that it actually spurred Marleau on in the playoffs.

And he can't be ready for that Coaches Corner spotlight if even the mild mannered Sedin's can comeback with better lines. "He did a great job on Long Island. I'm sure he is happy with that." Surprising how Luongo's name didn't come into that script. "I don't know how he looks at women. I would be pretty mad if I was a woman."

Brad Marchand's face makes you want to punch it in an attempt to try and fix it. But man, does that guy work his ass off and make the most of his rookie opportunity.

Patrice Bergeron's mean streak has really come out hasn't it? I could've done with the biting to overshadow it all, but I would have loved to watch the battle between him and Burrows be highlighted. Wouldn't you love to have a microphone on those French-Canadian scrums?

Kesler's spotlight has certainly burned him out. You can see he's trying to do the little things, but he just looks like he's out of steam, or playing on a wooden leg.

These videos from Vancouver are incredible. Hope someone does it for tonight's game.

Well that's about all I got, I know there's more I just can't think of 'em. Enjoy the finale.

2011 Stanley Cup Finals Prediction

2011-06-01T07:08:00.000-07:00

Well here we are, the moment we've been waiting 82 games + playoffs for. Its been a great ride hasn't it? The ups, the downs, the loop-de-loops. The optics of this final series look to provide a wealth of entertainment and sappy storylines.

...Ryan Kesler, the American boy turned Canadian hero...

...Tim Thomas, rises from the ashes to become two-time Vezina nominee...

...against fellow Vezina nominee, Roberto Luongo, and usual goat for western Canadians, despite winning Gold...

...Patrice Bergeron, concussion king, and rock on the Bruins squad...

...the magical Sedin twins, playing for hockey respect...

...Milan Lucic, Vancouver Giants favorite returning to the City to play in the Stanley Cup Finals...

There's plenty to love about this matchup, but its just not even. I'm not sure its even fair.

Goaltending, the most important element of the NHL playoffs (despite what Chicago and Philadelphia will tell you), is a wash. These two are great when they're on, and miserable when they're off. Its as simple as that.

Defense, this edge has to go Vancouver by a huge margin. Boston has Zdeno Chara and his partner's Dennis Seidenberg surprising play, and that's it. If you are going to argue that Ference and Boychuk are solid defenders then you're not sure what defence is exactly. The Canucks regularly sit Keith Ballard, a guy who's for sure a top 4 d-man on most teams. And almost every defenseman the Canucks have can join the rush and bomb it from the blue.

Offense, again I've got to give it to the Canucks. Sedin's on one line, Kesler on another, Malhotra coming back eventually to the third line, for if nothing else a solid defensive set. Krecji, Lucic, Bergeron, Horton, Ryder, Seguin, its just not matching up for me. The speed and transition game on this Canucks team is going to eat the Bruins alive.

I like this Bruins team, I really do, but I don't see any way around this unstoppable force. Just like Chicago was last year, Vancouver is this year.

I'm giving Boston one game, that's it. Its the Canucks time. It may sound cliche, but it really is their time.

Canucks in 5.

Odds and Ends

First off this 8pm start time is bullshit. Granted the games probably won't actually start until 8:30pm, but this is still 5:30pm on the west coast. This is not enough time to get home from work, let alone to find a bar in California that's actually got the game on. That's not really true, its the Stanley Cup Finals, the game will be on, but it won't be a "hockey bar" that's for sure. But the whole schedule is way too drawn out. Since all the games are primetime, I don't see why we couldn't have kicked off on Monday night, and then do the every other night thing while the series is in the same city. Instead, we start tonight, then wait until Saturday, teams travel to Boston, play Monday/Wednesday, back to Vancouver for Friday, then wait until Monday/Wednesday again if it goes back that far.

I'd like to tackle the whole Atlanta to Winnipeg thing in another post. I know I've promised Phoenix game and 'Playing with Fire' reviews in the past but I hope to deliver on all of them this summer. While in the process of buying a new home, having another baby, and all the other day-to-day joys of life.

I'm not sure what's sadder, this guy losing his hockey team or losing his marriage. Losing both at the same time would be enough to kill most men. Kidding aside, the Falconer is one of the best bloggers around, and he'll be sadly missed if he decides to hang 'em up. And no one could blame him for doing so.

Guy Boucher is my new favorite head coach if only for the soundbytes in postgame interviews and gif images. The hockey world is better place with smartass coaches like Ron Wilson, and John Tortorella telling Larry Brooks to fuck off.

Tampa is really an incredible turnaround. Think about what that team was a few years ago with Barrie/Koules at the helm, and where it ended this season. Lots of respect.

Glad to see the Isles making some progress in signing Grabner and Okposo to multi-year deals, and a brighter potential for getting a new building.

Rafalski is one of the smoothest defenseman I've ever seen. He'll be missed.

Boogaard's death was pretty humbling, as death usually is, but the thing that ate at me was the fact that all the media wrote how they never really knew the guy because they didn't think he was worth talking to, and now they discover what a great guy he was.

Both teams deserve this Cup, but only one's going to win it.

Enjoy it.

Conference Finals Predictions

2011-05-14T10:57:00.000-07:00

Almost there. The quarterfinals would have been a real bummer of a round without that Detroit/San Jose Game 7, the East was sure a bore. Two sweeps with an upset, (sorry, I don't consider a #3 beating a #2 seed an upset). Nashville drained the life out of the Vancouver series, but I think the most exciting teams have pushed through.

I went 3 for 4, picking the Tampa upset, but missing the Bruins sweep. Also picked that the Sharks would need seven to get past Detroit, for whatever that's worth. So only three more series left to pick, here's my thoughts on the next two...

Western Conference Finals

#1 Vancouver Canucks vs. #2 San Jose Sharks

How do you pick at this stage of the game, who's bashed up the least. I think these teams are pretty even, but I think the Canucks have the edge in speed. I'll call goaltending a draw, despite the fact that the thought is that Luongo should be lightyears ahead of Niemi. Everthing else seems to be similar, defenses move the puck well, plenty of offensive weapons, special teams click. I think the Sedins' get going in this series while Kesler slows down, Pavelski and Marleau get going, while Setoguchi and Thornton stall. Kesler is going to busy shadowing Thornton leading to less offense for both.

Canucks in 6.

Eastern Conference Finals

#3 Boston Bruins vs. #5 Tampa Bay Lightning

Boston's hungrier this year and it shows, despite Philadelphia's injuries and sluggishness, I think the Bruins proved a point in beating the Flyers. Thomas is the sharpest he's ever been, lots of offense, decent defense, but a shitty powerplay. Tampa, as I said before, just believes and that's what they're riding on. They've got offensive firepower too, but not as much as depth as the B's. For the warrior that Rolosson is, I think Thomas will win this matchup.

Bruins in 5.

Some other thoughts...

Boogaard's death is crazy news. If this is due to concussions, this will definetely be the slap in the face that all contact sports will need to regulate hitting, or maybe just fighting. Already thinking Bob Probert.

Great news for the Isles, hope they finally get that new rink built. And they signed Grabner.

Crazy part about Grabner is that he was a Canuck last season. That organization is oozing talent. Hope Hodgson gets a real chance next season.

Disagree with Jagr to the Pens, despite the fact that it is more about getting the Penguins legend back into the organization rather than actually playing next season. But if the media's going to create it, then I don't think he mixes well in that lockerroom with that young group. But that's just me.

This relocation crap is hitting critical mass, but I would not be surprised to see Atlanta go out without a whimper. Imagine a hockey team being swept out of a city before the fanbase even had a chance to dispute it. But what Atlanta Spirit owner Bruce Levenson had to say in this interview was pretty depressing for Thrash fans.

Plenty more, but I'll save it for another time, enjoy the confy finals!

2011 2nd Round Predictions

2011-04-28T08:03:00.001-07:00

Yeah, I'm not cleaning that up. Sorry. But I will go ahead and brag about how I went six for eight in the first round, losing only the #4/#5 matchups in each conference. Even got number of games right in the Caps and B's series. Whoo! Big fuckin' deal. But if I look back to my predictions at the beginning of the season, looks like I had 6 of 8 right in the West for the postseason push, and 7 in the East. Got all three division leaders right in the West, but put Calgary and Colorado in, instead of Phoenix and Anaheim. Got two division leaders right in the East, swapping Pittsburgh for Philadelphia, and my one miss was plopping New Jersey in, instead of New York. Starting to look like I know what I'm talking about.

In any case, the 1st round was epic, only wish I got to see more of it. Four game seven's, and two on back-to-back nights, pretty sweet. Couple of things I noticed in that first round, where to start...

Duncan Keith is a mean son-of-a-bitch. I thought the guy was pretty even keeled, but that mf'er really wants to win. He's a competitor.

Speaking of competitors, Jon Toews is something else. That guy is determination.

The Caps disposed of the Rangers pretty easily, but not as easily as they could have. A tougher team will expose that. Meet the Tampa Bay Lightning, who I severely underestimated.

There is no way Ovechkin is 100%, which has been pretty obvious all season long. Here's the scenario, AO gets injured early in the season, he can play, but there's a potential for more damage if he does so. Caps brass have to weigh the options, shut him down for a healthy chunk of the season, losing their key personality for HBO and the Winter Classic, or let him gut it out. What would you do?

Playoff teams of nobodies... Buffalo Sabres, or should I say Ryan Miller and the Sabres, the New York Rangers, the Nashville Predators, the Phoenix Coyotes. Which of those teams is still in the dance?

Anaheim is another one of those teams, if you subtract their Big 3, since Hiller was already subtracted.

The Sharks/Kings series was great, and the wee beginnings of another inner-state rivalry was born within the fans of each.

The Phoenix/Detroit series was over before I had an opportunity to turn it on.

Enough of that, onto the picks...

West

#1 Vancouver vs. #5 Nashville

I can't tell whether its hate for the Canucks, or whether people have them labelled as the next Sharks. But I think Vancouver makes short work of the Predators, then again I said the Ducks would do that.

Canucks in 5.

#2 San Jose vs. #3 Detroit

This one is very hard to pick, and may be the best matchup of this round. On one hand you have a well-rested group of champions in the Wings who know how to win. Granted not as deep as in years past, but that lineup is solid, top to bottom. The Sharks are definetely deep, but its their delicate sensibility that makes us always question them. They always seem like they're ready to take that next step, until they get swatted out of the postseason. Its a guess...

Sharks in 7.

East

#1 Washington vs. #5 Tampa Bay

Here's my upset pick. I just don't think the Caps have it in them. They made some key acquisitions at the deadline, that were for sure, deep playoff pickups, but they just haven't shown that they've got what it takes to make a run. Tampa on the other hand, has two steady hands guiding the ship, Yzerman and Boucher, and they have this team believing with the pick up of Rolosson. I believe them too.

Lightning in 6.

#2 Philadelphia vs. #3 Boston

This series should be a lot closer, but it won't. Philly was slow on the draw, but now they've got the momentum, and they're going to run. Hard. Boston is out of gas, and looking miserable. The Habs were not the Cinderella they were a year ago for sure, they were just overmatched by the B's. But the Bruins are going to have to turn their game around to even have a shot at this series.

Flyers in 6.

2011 1st Round Playoff Picks

2011-04-13T15:08:00.000-07:00

Hello all,

What a long strange trip its been, but more on that later. I'm here to get down my dirty picks before the puck drops tonight. I'll do my best to get in here and clean this up, but at least you know I didn't cheat by putting these down a game into the series.

Love to all.

West

#1 Vancouver vs. #8 Chicago

My how the tables have turned. Still there's no way of knowing what will happen in the playoffs.

Canucks in 6.

#2 San Jose vs. #7 Los Angeles

Interesting little NorCal vs. SoCal series. A lot of people had the Kings picked to do so damage. Who me?

Sharks in 5.

#3 Detroit vs. #6 Phoenix

It's like deja vu all over again. Go with heart or head?

Wings in 7.

#4 Anaheim vs. #5 Nashville

Nobody gives the Predators any credit and I can't either. Not when a team claws their way back into the playoff picture only to find themselves fourth in the West when it's all said and done.

Ducks in 5.

East

#1 Washington vs. #8 New York

Is this the year? Ranger fans are kidding themselves if they think they're playing spoiler this year. Then again, they usually are kidding themselves.

Caps in 5.

#2 Philadelphia vs. #7 Buffalo

Philly's on a rampage, and when they finish its going to be a bloodbath.

Flyers in 5.

#3 Boston vs. #6 Montreal

Too much masterbation on this one, but understandably so.

Bruins in 7.

#4 Pittsburgh vs. Tampa Bay

Not going to be as interesting as people think. Steel town rolls into Washington for a Winter Classic rematch. More masterbation ensues.

Pens in 5.

So there you go, no upsets, no sweeps, but a few sympathy wins for the unders. Chickenshit be thy name. Enjoy.

Still Thinking About It

2011-01-12T16:31:00.001-08:00

Tampa Turnaround

For all the right moves Stevie Y made in his first GM attempt in Tampa, the goaltending band-aid was the most over looked. Mike Smith was already in the stable coming off a banged up year, Niittymaki had left for San Jose on free agency, so Yzerman picked up Dan Ellis the same way. Smith/Ellis tandem didn't exactly create fear in opposing forwards and similarly probably didn't give the Bolts confidence from the back either. As you would expect, the two goalie's play has been mediocre at best all year, despite the fact that Lightning have been playing some incredible hockey with Stamkos and St. Louis at the forefront. So the immortal Wing picks up Dwayne Roloson, shipping what was left of the disastrous Dan Boyle trade from his predecessors, to the Island. Rollie pulls a 1-0 shutout in his first start, against the Caps no less, and then gets thrown in net the next night by Boucher for an 8-1 stinker against the Pens. Now you can't judge a trade based on two games, but at the very least they've added a veteran competitor who hates to lose, and hopefully in the process pushes either Ellis or Smith to get their shit together. My guess is that they'll be playing for the backup role regardless.
As an aside, I think Friedman mentioned it, when Yzerman was asked why he didn't pursue Nabokov after the news that he had been released from his KHL contract, and instead pulled the trigger in Roloson, he stated that he didn't think Nabby would clear waivers.

Box Office Winter Ordinary

HBO's 24/7 was a huge success in that it exposed the non-hockey fan to the game in an in-depth fashion, and allowed the rapid hockey fan to eat up all the nuances and intricacies of life between the periods for the players, coaches, and GM's. The selection of teams for the Classic was a yawn for most of us, chalking it up to a contrived rivalry, but it was genius for documentary using the two posterboys of the League to ham up the drama. The location was the real bust. I don't think Heinz Field strikes anyone outside of Pittsburgh as a truly memorable location like Wrigley or Fenway. The real disappointment in the series lies in the fact that it was only four episodes long.
My next pick for the Winter Classic: New York Rangers vs. Los Angeles Kings in Central Park. Think about it, Bettman's always talking about how the TV ratings drive the markets, well here's the two biggest cities in the U.S. going to head to head with youthful teams showing a lot of promise. There's not a real rivalry there, but who are you going to match the Rangers up with? The sadness that is the Islanders? Or Devils for that matter? I know it'll never happen in terms of feasibility, but the League's going to have to keep coming up with new ideas, and you might as well start literally thinking outside the box (of existing sports stadiums) and go with a venue shakeup. Bangin Panger had some good ideas on the next Winter Classic.
Oh, and somebody else mentioned this and I wholeheartedly agree, don't show other games that day either. The only other game I was looking for was the Heritage Classic and that wasn't scheduled for another two months.

Cursing the Canucks

Ryan Kesler has taken a huge leap in terms of becoming a complete hockey player. Always known as a defensive centerman, his production has seen a dramatic increase at the other end of the ice. And its not like his benefitting from the telepathy of the Sedin's either, less than half of his goals have come on the powerplay where he's paired with the twins. With 41 points in 42 games, he's learned to shut his mouth and hit 'em where it hurts.
Vancouver is humming right now aren't they? Too early to peak? That whole roster is playing well right now. Torres is playing some of the best hockey I've ever seen him play, Malhotra is still lights out in the dot, Raymond is playing well, Bieksa has turned it into something positive. It would be scary if Samuelsson actually got the goal scoring going. Somebody needs to piss him off, maybe tell him to fuck himself.

All-Snore

I'll tell you I could not care less about the All-Star Game. I haven't even looked at the rosters, despite it being plastered everywhere in some sort of greasy combination with fans bitching about snubs, media whining about how players asked not to be included so they could rest, and the League boasting it as an important marketing event. While the idea of "Captains" picking the teams is novel, the game needs a complete overhaul to make entertaining (and remotely interesting). And who needs Captains for an All-Star Game anyway? Let the players pick the two Coaches (can't pick their own), and let the Coaches pick the two teams. I know the Coaches don't have the personality (unless we're talking Ron Wilson vs. John Tortorella), but I can't stomach another Crosby vs. Ovechkin makeout session.

Do You Smell Something?

How fucked is Ottawa? Completely dysfunctional. Murray wants to fire Clouston, and Melnyk tells Murray if he does that he's gone too. Frankly that's the best idea I've heard come out of that organization.
Wanna see parity? Check out the glut in spots 1 through 12 in the Western Conference.
Wanna see a distinct separation between playoff teams and non-playoff teams? Look at the Eastern Conference.
The lowest scoring team in the West (Edmonton) has the lowest scoring team in the East (New Jersey) beat by 25 goals. And a -55 in goal differential I might add.
This shit between Langenbrunner and Lemaire had to come to a head at some point after catching whiffs of it stemming from last year when Lemaire was at the helm before retiring. Again. I think it's pretty obvious that Kovalchuk's arrival rubbed Jaime the wrong way, and the $100million offseason and subsequent abysmal year following probably didn't help matters.
The Pacific Division has three teams in the top 8 spots, Dallas (Leader), Phoenix, and Anaheim. Los Angeles and San Jose are on the outside looking in right now, how many of you would have predicted that even at this point in the season?
And I don't mean to jump on the bandwagon with this, but this Guardian project is as bad as Chaka Khan at the Awards Show. Especially when they're all rip-offs.

Its Starting to Grow Mold

2010-11-29T15:24:00.000-08:00

Its depressing to think that nothing fresh has been added to the fridge since the start of the season. Always having good intentions to start only to discover that this blogging interface has found a new way to piss you off. Whether its out of need or necessity, I felt the urge once again to give it a go, despite the inability to produce and break stories like the rest of the web wunderkind. Its Cyber Monday, (the next new greeting card holiday), and I don't feel like shopping or working, so we'll wade our way through the hilarical hijinks of this crazy League.

I owe Dustin Byfuglien an apology.
I predicted him to be a smug, unhappy fuck, begrudging the fact that he wasn't a retainable piece of the 2009 Blackhawks and instead being sent to one of the now many hockey hells in Atlanta. He was shifted back to defense, where he has shown defense but servicable ability, and has turned on a committed sense of leadership and desire to get this anchor of a franchise back on the boat and moving again. This week named one of the NHL's three stars with a 4 point game against Boston, and potting 9 goals and 16 assists for 25 points so far on the year. There's no sense of entitlement from him, just a good team guy laying it out on the line in a nearly empty arena.

Woe is Me.
Using that shitty lead in, I promise not to use the word woes when talking about attendance. It has been downright painful to look up from the ice and see tons of empty seats in the lower levels. Atlanta has always been bad, the Islanders can't give away seats, and Dallas is suffering badly. Even teams with good attendance wait until about 10 minutes into each period before the seats get filled back up. Hockey Night in Canada puts on full display the ACC bombthreat that gets called in at the start of the period.

Is this a good time to talk about contraction?
I don't know about you, but despite the fact that the game is more competitive than it has been in years, I'm starting to get the feeling that the talent pool really is watered down. When there's a regular story on Lee Stempniak's production, or lack there of, or Kevin Bieksa's potential LZ for a trade or how Cal Clutterbuck's mustache is growing. There are more than a handful of teams who have landed themselves in a perpetual vacuum of suck. Whether its by not offering the dough, or more importantly not being a desirable place to play, marquee players are staying away in droves and its a system that I only see continuing until the bottom falls out.

And you're left there hanging.
As the franchise moves from Long Island, to Stupidmoveville, to eventually Dumenuftotakem, the braintrust of WangSnow have decided to release Scott Gordon from the torture of coaching that godforsaken team. In the interest of doing something/anything, they'll use Gordon as a scapegoat for an AHL team playing in the NHL. And replace him with... wait for it... an AHL coach. Sound logic. Does that move strike you as something that would pull you out of a 14game losing streak? Here's the thing that gets me... These two idiots have admitted that the team is in a re-building phase, and Gordon was hired to see that shit through, come hell or high water. You've pretty much conceded the team's a loser for the season by putting together that roster, is this an attempt to show the fans you haven't done that already? And instead putting you further back from a successful season than you were a moment ago?

Who didn't see this coming?
Toronto getting impatient? Nahhh! The center of the hockey world can't wait the typical 5 to 30 year plan of franchise rebuilding? Who could have predicted that? Burke's making moves to make this team better, but it'll never be enough, the expectations are unrealistic. And they want to can Wilson because the team can't get it done? They'd be as dumb as the Islanders if they followed that genious thinking.

Kessel's made of cardboard.
With that said, Kessel is about as worthless as a hockey player as Ilya Kovalchuk. Sure, you can say these guys are purely offense but when you do the same two or three moves (1:44) when you're coming into the offensive zone this is going to happen to you more often than not.

Taking 'em down a peg or two.
And with a severe Napoleon Complex, its going to make it even worse. Tom Benjamin took the boots to reliable sports newsman Damien Cox after he took it upon himself to tear down Tyler Dellow's work on Collie Campbell's GMail account. Cox took the typical, "he's just a fat fuck blogger sitting in his mother's basement," line on Dellow without giving him credit for doing all the legwork on that story. Tommy reminds Cox about his shotty journalism unaccountability capping it off with the early, and inaccurate posting of Pat Burns death weeks before it happened. I'll admit it, I love Benjamin and I hate Cox, but you've got to admit what's right is right. Cox is an opinionated journalist who likes to make news instead of reporting it. Benjamin's a no-nonsense whistle blower, who when he smells shit, he calls it shit.

I'd like to get into the whole Campbell thing, but I'm not gonna, not at this point anyway. Hopefully another time, but I've promised shit before and didn't deliver, and it'll get old and something else will stir the pot. So until then.

2010 Prediction Wrap Up

2010-10-04T23:27:00.001-07:00

Okay let’s package the fucker up…

Western Conference Finals – San Jose Sharks vs. Los Angeles Kings

I don’t know why, but that’s what I got. I think everyone’s given up on the Sharks, and that’s probably exactly what they needed. I think the Kings are going to surprise a lot of people, but just come up short, putting San Jose as the West representative. A more likely situation will have the Kings advancing a round further that last season, and the Sharks bowing out to Vancouver. I just can’t put the Canucks in there, I want them in there so badly, that I think its clouding my judgment, so I’m keeping them out.

Eastern Conference Finals – Washington Capitals vs. Philadelphia Flyers

I like this matchup, but I see Philly taking it, and the eventual prize as well. Frustration ensues for the Red Russians.

Stanley Cup Finals – San Jose Sharks vs. Philadelphia Flyers

Its anyone’s guess as to who would win this one, but given the Sharks record, and Philadelphia’s bitter defeat last season, its easy to see the Flyers taking it. Now watch they’ll both be out in the first round.

Stanley Cup goes to... Philadelphia with big props to Peter Laviolette, Mike Richards, Chris Pronger, and some goalie who we’ve never heard of before. Claude Giroux to snatch the Conn Smythe with a huge playoffs.

More Awards...

Hart goes to… Joe Thornton. Points race too. Oh shit I blew the surprise.

Art Ross… Joe Thornton. It is a contract year folks.

Vezina… I think this year it will finally go to Luongo, but some young upstart like Bernier will probably chase him.

Speaking of young upstarts, the Calder will go to… Is Bernier even eligible, I’ll give him my vote.

Selke… Mike Richards, I’m starting to get predictable in my picks. Datsyuk will have an injury-filled year, and Kesler will just miss once again.

Norris… Drew Doughty runs away with it. Duncan Keith’ll give ‘em a fight to hold on to it though.

Jack Adams… Terry Murray gets kudos for getting the Kings to where they are towards the end of the season.

Presidents Trophy once again goes to Washington. Easy conference.

That’s it, I’m available for hire to entertain at parties, or any other events where a good laugh is needed. We're cranking it back up again over here, I just can't quit you, you dumb, fucking game. Managed to scrounge up enough change to get Center Ice hooked up again. Best spot to panhandle... Freeway off ramps.

Enjoy the season, you big, dumb animals.

2010 East Predictions

2010-10-04T23:03:00.000-07:00

When doing these predictions, its so easy to see these teams in three separate groups; definite playoff teams, bubble team, and shit-out of-luck teams. The East usually gets ragged on for being a much less competitive Conference than the West, and I don’t expect this year to be any different.

I expect Washington to once again take the top spot in the East, rounded out by Pittsburgh in the Atlantic, and Boston in the Northwest. I don’t think Philadelphia’s goaltending roundhouse will be as much of an issue as it appears to be, and the Flyers will probably finish with more points than the B’s.

But the top 8 should look something like this…

1. Washington Capitals

2. Pittsburgh Penguins

3. Boston Bruins

4. Philadelphia Flyers

5. New Jersey Devils

6. Tampa Bay Lightning

7. Montreal Canadiens

8. Buffalo Sabres

Again, not too crazy about the Sabres, but I think Miller will put that team on his back once again and lug them into a first round exit. Montreal is already having a rough go, going with Price instead of Halak, but I expect them to squeak in with the lack of competition. I have Toronto and Atlanta much improved, but on the outside looking in. I just can’t see Ottawa sniffing anywhere near a berth this year with their goaltending woes, and I may be crazy to have them this low but fuck it. What have they done for me lately? I like the Isles to beat out the Rangers just ‘cause its funner, and I think Florida will be way out in front of taking the “shittiest team in the League” title. Carolina just in front of them.

Mistakes? Pittsburgh always seems to be a much better team in the postseason than the regular season, but I expect the opposite to be true for no good reason other than my opinion. Bruins get third by default, despite having two rivals in the top 8 as well. Putting the Devils that low is really defying the typical magic they pull when the season comes to a close, but I do not expect the Kovalchuk experiment to work this year either, as well as MacLean’s honeymoon. Tampa is obviously a long shot but considering the good vibes radiating off of Stevie Y from down in the Bay, you can’t help but toss them into the mix. Not including Ottawa will probably be a mistake, but like I said before, fuck it.

Well I’ll smash the last two posts into something vaguely readable in a wrap-up, and then we’ll finally get a puck drop.

2010 West Predictions

2010-10-04T23:01:00.000-07:00

Once again its time for pointless predictions of how an 82 game season involving 30 teams will iron out before even one game it played. Considering last season’s predictions went something like 4 for 8 in the West and 6 for 8 in the East, and I missed just about every Division and Conference finish for each team, I wouldn’t trust this shit any further than I could throw it. And in order to streamline the process and limit the endless bullshit that I could write, I’ll keep it real simple and name those teams in it or out of it, learning from previous mistakes for a change. We’ll kick off the West today, and hit the East sometime in the near future, preferably before Thursday to keep this shit legitimate. That’s what we strive for here at "the Grip," legitimacy.

As the true sucker I am, I’m going with the Sharks to take the points lead in the Western Conference, followed closely by Detroit. I think Vancouver’s a shoe-in to take the Northwest considering what that Division looks like.

So those are your Division winners, and if I had to break down the rest of the top 8 its gonna look like this…

1. San Jose Sharks

2. Detroit Red Wings

3. Vancouver Canucks

4. Chicago Blackhawks

5. Los Angeles Kings

6. Nashville Predators

7. Calgary Flames

8. Colorado Avalanche

Not too confident about the Avs being in there, but the Blues missing the postseason with their half-price jinx they put on the team. That's some bad juju right there. But I could see them or Phoenix battling for that eighth spot, but that was a miracle run for them last year, despite Tippett still a fixture. Dallas is in a pending sale, Minnesota is, well Minnesota, and Anaheim will need to reload for a few years. I like Columbus for last, just to piss some dickhead off, and I’d think Edmonton would improve with the young talent and nowhere to go but up. But you never know.

Mistakes? Well putting San Jose, the perennial regular season champion, back in that spot might be optimistic with the new goaltending situation, but I have a feeling that powerful offense will carry the load, the same way Chicago did last season. The Canucks will earn plenty of points in their Division but they’ll have some rough patches to keep them back a bit. Chicago, despite having a lot of keep personnel still in place, will be hungover with cockiness. The Kings will surge but still have some lessons to learn at the end of the season. Calgary could also be a mistake, but I have to think the last chances of Kipper and Iggy et al. will be the driving force behind that team, not to mention the misery of last season’s miss.

After doing a breakdown of the East, I’ll wrap it up into a neat little package, and make a few more pointless, unfounded predictions just for shits and giggles.

Back with Thoughts

2010-09-22T13:43:00.000-07:00

What can I tell you? I couldn't stay away, I love this game, despite the fact that I constantly bitch about it. Back with some more thoughts as we struggle to get through the last few weeks of offseason boredom. And off we go...

Getting Warmer

Super cool that the NHL releases this new rules enforcement video to the fans as well as the teams.

Not cool that they have Sears-quality models pimping the NHL gear. If it's the stuff the pros wear, why can't you shove them into this overpriced crap? Besides, it's not like you don't make them do every other retarded promotional appearance. I might actually buy this shit if they did that. Except for those Carolina pajama bottoms. And I don't need to see Eric Staal modeling them with his brothers in their corresponding team's pajamas having a pillow fight either.

How cool is the NHL store? This cool. How did NASCAR not think of this first?

But why?

Souray for Commodore? Souray had a pretty heavy of helping of shit in his mouth when he started bad mouthing management last April and openly, as in stating it publicly to the media, that he wanted a trade out of town. Not the first to spurn Oil Country, and most likely he won't be the last. But the Edmonton front office attempted to push back, albeit almost six months later, by stating that the guy with a horrible first name, is not welcome at training camp, despite the fact that he said he would attend. Pick up your lunch pail and hardhat and head on into work, despite the fact that you got drunk at the Christmas party talked shit about the bosses, and then puked on your own shoes. I don't know how Tambellini expected to get any suitors by doing that, he's going to need someone really, really foolish to grab an injury-prone, aging defenseman. Cue Scott Howson and the Columbus Hobos. "We got Mike Commodore, interested?" Its a move by Howson in desperation of making some kind of splash in town before the season starts. Considering the players that have come through and sit presently in Ohio, Souray would probably be the best defensemen they've ever had, and that's downright depressing. The Oil are so desperate to get this cancer out of the room before it affects the young guys they might just take Commie off their hands for the next three years at $3.75 per. He makes the most of any defenseman on the team and he's been shelved to the third pairing. Anyone got a gun?

Well it's finally done. Kovy is contracted to be a Devil for what would conceivably be the rest of his career. 15 years, a cool $100 million to be paid out over that time for a guy who's as one-dimensional as a cardboard cutout of himself, and probably containing just as much substance. The League tossed in a $3million fine, and the surrendering of a third round pick next year, and a first rounder sometime in the next four years at the discretion of the Lamoriello, for good measure.

This one got a lot of talk around the campfire, Matt Duchene's little in-game tiff with his landlord Adam Foote. To me, it was a little overblown, its hockey, not tennis. What was more interesting in that game was Matt's sweet move in the shootout.

Howard Baldwin, the used-to-be owner of the Hartford Whalers, has been trying to get the buzz back in "the insurance capital of the world" with events like this. Now there's talk of re-naming the Hartford Wolf Pack to the Connecticut Whale. Painfully awful. Now that we're a decade into the new millenium, naming a sports team the Whalers is politically incorrect, despite it having one of the classiest logos in hockey history.

The new St. Louis Blues have their work cut out for them. After taking them on a remarkable run to the postseason in 2009, they've managed to get Andy Murray fired and replaced with Dan Bylsma's clone. They made the dental patient Tkachuk retire, put Kariya on a year-long furlough for mental health, and walked away from Chris Mason (Not Steve). But they somehow persuaded Montreal to give up Halak, and they've got a healthy crop of young kids in there ready to take up the charge. But this move may be counting your chickens before they hatch.

Sadness
Pat Burns is in bad shape, but he ain't dead yet. Leave it to Damien Cox to trust senile Cliff Fletcher's word without doing any, you know, fact checking and then tweet it for all the world to catch fire. Tough ol' Burns calls up B. McKenzie to let him know he's not dead, and to have him set those fuckers straight.

It really doesn't look good for Savard. The fact that he came back and played in the playoffs after suffering that concussion, only to start feeling the effects of post-concussion syndrome just before the season starts is really not good. It's no wonder why Chiarelli attempted to shop him over the summer, despite the fact that he had just signed him to a 7 year $28million contract extension. Savard's damaged goods at this point, and the Bruins are essentially fucked at this point if he isn't the same player he was, or if he can't go on. Example of why not to sign players to long-term deals #638.

While we're on head injuries, Bobby Probert's family has decided to donate his brain to a Boston University research project that's looking at athletic head trauma. It's a great thing that the family has done, but by the sound of it, it appears that Bob and his wife had discussed it prior to his passing. It's been the hot topic of last season with Savard and Booth going down, and there's no reason to see it fading away this season, despite the new legislation for blindside hits.

Unless the discussion moves to performance enhancing drugs in hockey. Nah, let's just sweep that back under the rug for a while, shall we?

What's New?
We're big Puck Daddy fans, but there's a new reason to enjoy the Yahoo hockey blog, and his name is Justin Bourne. Bourne's the son of Islander legend Bob Bourne, and he's had some first hand experience of attempting to claw his way to the big show with unsuccessful results. He started writing after giving it all up, and he's parlayed it into a few gigs with The Hockey News, USA Today, and now Puck Daddy (he wrote the last link about PED's). His spots have great insight into the world of professional hockey, and they've all been pretty good reads on PD so far. Check 'em out.

The re-built Atlanta Thrashers for real? New blood in town consists of a healthy portion of the team formerly known as the Blackhawks including Byfuglien, Sopel, Ladd, Eager, and via free agency, Dawes, Chris Mason (not Steve), Modin, and Meyer. Not a Cup contender but definitely a step in the right direction.

Speaking of the right direction and bringing in new blood, Jeff Vinik buying the Bolts might have been the best thing that's happened to the franchise since their Cup and subsequent lockout. He hires Stevie Y, who hires Guy Boucher as probably one of the most sought after rookie head coaches this offseason. He reassures Vinny that he's not going to move him, then goes ahead and re-signs fan favorite Marty St. Louis to keep the lynchpins in place. He trades for Simon Gagne to complete the 'South of France Connection,' and grabs Bergenheim, Moore, Pouliot, Kubina, Clark, Jones, and Ellis (who has problems). And brought back Steve Downie who had a career year last year lined up with Stamkos and St. Lou, despite his previous reputation. Not bad for a team in need of a new identity, both on and off the ice.

Mostly Bullshit
Seems like every mediot who ventures to pick winners and losers are hailing the Canucks as the heir to the throne. As I've said before, I'm a big believer in the thought that an SC winner has to suffer a hard loss at the hands of a victor in order to push them over the top. Given that the 'Nucks have lost to the Hawks in the second round for two years in a row, and the latest having them go onto win it all fits nicely with that philosophy. But for some reason I just don't see it, not yet, as much as I hate to say it.

Now that red pipe savior Roberto Luongo made the respectable move to give up the 'C,' the question now becomes who earns it? The race seems to be between two polar opposite contenders. In one corner you have Hank Sedin just coming off a career year with an Art Ross and a Hart trophy in tow. The polite, skillful Swede is as much a humble ambassador as Boutros Boutros-Ghali. And in the other, you have Ryan Kesler, shit-stirrer extraordinare. The brash, defensive specialist thrives on getting to the opponent in more ways than one. Most smart hockey people are leaning towards Sedin, to follow in Naslund's footsteps, and have a good rapport with the officials, which the Canucks so desperately need. But my gut, and Canucklehead nation says Kesler, as a heart-and-soul, leave it all out on the ice kind of player, like beloved Captain Trevor Linden. (Rumor has it that Hank's already been tapped.)

Kari Lehtonen might be soft, but he knows who's hard. The Finn with a girl's name may have stolen Dallas fan's hearts by electing one of the most beloved figures of the State of Texas to adorn his helmet. No it's not George Bush, its Walker, and Texas Ranger. The badass ginger has his double-fisting machine gun pose from 'Invasion U.S.A.' with shades, and his trademark karate kick, handsomely shown off in his 'Chuck Norris Action Jeans' advertisement proudly displayed on Lehtonen's new three-year deal helmet. Lehtonen's had some pretty sweet helmets before with Clint Eastwood on his last Stars helmet after the trade from Atlanta, and Heath Ledger as the Joker back in A-town. But he's also had some bad one's as well, check out Heika's list to see them all.

The Pop Stars have officially entered into the NHL courtship. Two Mike's have shelved both Hilary Duff and Carrie Underwood. We've already seen Duff put Comrie in her videos, but now Carrie has matched the deed by putting Fisher in her latest music video. No blowjob highlight in this one, but we do get a keen look at some crappy family photos, and Underwood's scrapbooking skills.

Belanger came out swinging after signing a deal with the Coyotes, with haymakers labeled for George McPhee. Belanger, his agent, and GMGM apparently had a verbal agreement for a $1mil plus deal, but the double GM asked Belanger to hold off, due to an ongoing trade negotiation and the handicapping that would go along with the signing. McPhee asked for a week to iron it all out, and Belanger gave him a month. In the meantime, the Caps organization assisted Belanger and his family with integrating into the community, recommending schools for his kids, and the like. Belanger thought it was all good until the days kept ticking by. By this time the pending trade had fallen through, and McPhee backed off on the deal, Belanger felt he had to sign somewhere. It ended up being hockey purgatory for almost half of what Washington had agreed to. In principle. Apparently, Belanger has filed a grievance with the powerless NHLPA, and his lawyer turned agent has successfully burned the bridge to Washington with his other clients by spouting off at the mouth. I understand Belanger's stance, especially when it comes to making arrangements for your family, but he should have pushed McPhee shortly after the week about signing a contract, and not waited a month. GMGM is just as much to blame for this PR blip, but was ultimately doing his job and that may require taking some shit from time to time, and working on two things at once.

Well that's all I got for now, I'm going to go panhandle to come up with enough scratch to get Center Ice or Gamecenter, whichever's cheaper.

The Stench of Desperation

2010-08-19T15:28:00.000-07:00

There's a certain whaft of stink, whine, and complaint from the 'homeless' players collective. An odor that was strong enough to get whoever runs that sham of an organization known at the NHL Players' Association to carry out their first order of business since Paul Kelly was dismissed.

As we get closer to the end of the term for the current Collective Bargaining Agreement, we see just how dramatic "cost certainty" influences cap spending and the free agent marketplace. Plenty of players with multiple years of NHL experience are sitting by the phone, chewing their fingernails in anticipation of a call from their agent with a job offer from any team (exception: Edmonton Oilers, New York Islanders), and not some pain-in-the-ass reporter asking why they haven't signed a deal yet.

Not too long ago, more than a few of these guys would have been picked up on name alone, given their willingness to play another year and the bottomless pockets of team ownership. Now, veterans, middling bottom six forwards, and third pair defensemen alike are without someone dumb enough to pay them for their "storied history" and mediocre stats. Its a little surprising to see it all shake out, based on everyone's individual perceived value of a player's worth which has been skewed by the salaries we've seen in past years.

But now they've been humbled, and they asked the powerful NHLPA to post this propaganda (i.e. eHarmony profile) to generate interest and let all 28 ("No thank you Mr. Snow/Tambellini, I've already signed with a club in Liechtenstein") General Managers know that they're still alive.

The air of desperation is thick.

Seriously, Enough is Enough

2010-08-13T11:00:00.000-07:00

Drop the fucking puck already. I'm so sick of reading about this kind of shit. Or this pile of crap that waits outside my door each morning. Just fucking go already, we're all done with you.

Can you tell I'm pissed? Maybe it's 'cause I'm at work on my day off. But maybe I should shut my dirty mouth and be thankful I still have a fucking job. A job that's not covering the bills, especially for Center Ice packages and XM subscriptions for NHL Home Ice. So the end of an era may be coming folks, this could very well be my 'Swan Song.' Either that or it'll force me further into the depths of the hockey blogosphere, and I'll be writing as frequently as I shit. So without further ado, let's try and shoot for 30...

1. The Abritrator's decision on Kovalchuk's ludacris deal has opened the door to the review of other suspicious long-term deals including, but not limited to, Pronger, Hossa, Luongo and Savard. The League has a period of time after registering the deal that allows them to begin a review of the deal, which is supposedly what they've been doing since these deals were filed which keeps the door open. I'll buy that as a legal loophole for the Pronger, Luongo, and Savard deals which are extensions that don't kick in until the start of this season, (which I guess is technically July 1st), but not for Hossa's deal who's already a year and a championship into it.

2. Speaking of reviewed deals, the MSM has painted a picture that Vancouver and Boston would be very open to the possibility of reneg'ing the Luongo and Savard deals, after second round disappointments and that whole concussion thing. The two franchises are "cooperating" with League officials into the review of the contracts. My thought is you don't offer multi-year deals like that without expecting down years somewhere in that time frame, and you sure as shit don't change your mind on a decision like that the year after you offer it. I think Gillis is committed to Luongo (obviously with a 12year deal) but I'm not so sure about Chiarelli and his questionable moves considering the distance they've put between themselves and Savard, and their concern about the lack of distance between Savard's skull and his brain.

3. In true Philadelphia fashion, Holmgren isn't having any part of that League review nonsense. That, and they actually want to keep Pronger.

4. Good on Mike Van Ryn for plowing the shit of a career ended early to join an OHL junior team as an assistant coach for the defense. Van Ryn was issued a shitty skeleton by birthright that prevented him from continuing as a pro, and decided to call it a day and join the coaching ranks. Van Ryn took a lot of shit from the Leaf faithful for being on the payroll without actually playing due to injury, here's to a healthy, and successful run as a coach.

5. Adam Burish on the Stars has some muted down connection to Sean Avery being there and subsequently shipped out, and back to the Rangers. Burish has been known to run his mouth, but not to the extent and spotlight grabbing that attention-whore Avery does.

6. Is this the first time in NHL history where a Stanley Cup winning goaltender may end up out of the League the following season? (Lockout years excluded.) As the start of the season draws closer I see that being more and more of a possibility. That is until a Flyers goaltender goes down to injury.

7. Speaking of the Blackhawks and the non-existent possibility that Niemi returns to Chicago, has anyone actually looked at last season's and this upcoming season's roster? Byfuglien, Sopel, Eager in Thrasher jerseys, Burish to Dallas, Versteeg to Tdot, Madden to Minnesota, I'm sure I'm forgetting some. So its Toews, Kane, Hossa, Sharp, Bolland, Brower, Kopecky, Keith, Seabrook, Campbell and Hjalmarsson. Oh and some old guy name Turco in net. Goddamn, they're still scary deep.

8. Then of course there is the whole pesky Huet, $5.625million for the next two years thingy.

9. Getzlaf's the new captain of the Ducks, right? Who else would it be, Paul Kariya?

10. Frolov to the Rangers makes a whole lot of sense for all the wrong reasons, doesn't it? I'm looking at you Glen Sather.

11. But Torts is psyched about it. That is until he turns him into a whipping boy.

12. No mention of how much Tortorella liked Sather's outright robbery of that saavy contract to Boogaard. And I don't think its coming in part two either.

13. The Isles on the other hand, are holding open tryouts to see what remaining free agents will take contracts at a quarter of what they are worth. Their prices are insane!

14. Seriously, these teams that spend barely enough to make the Cap floor, and who no self-respecting free agent wants to play for, when will it be time to just fold up shop instead of giving fans no sense of hope right from the start of the season? I know there are good years and bad years, but when no one wants to play for a team isn't that a sign that something's seriously wrong?

15. Sami Salo's horrific injury while playing some sick version of ball hockey is a little ridiculous if not outright unbelievable. The problem is that it puts the Canucks in as awkward a position as a Ben Stiller movie with a plethora of defenseman signed, while at the same time shelving the trade talk to move Kevin Bieksa and clear some salary. If not spots on the defense.

16. Matt Reitz over at Hockey from the Cheap Seats had a great post about how Gillis adding two puck moving defenseman (Hamhuis and Ballard) to join the one he already had (Erhoff) does nothing to solve the problem of power forwards camping out in front of Luongo. The way Hamhuis shunned all of his suitors (Philadelphia and Pittsburgh) to come to Vancouver made a lot more sense than trading Grabner away to get Ballard as well. Mitchell is still unsigned but cleared to play, and the intention is (was) to move Bieksa. Those are your grit/shutdown guys right there. Instead GM MG is building his defense like he did his offense with speed and a quick, puck possession offense. Sound like another team you know from the East?

17. I'm actually pretty surprised that no one has pulled the trigger on Willie Mitchell as of yet. The internal scouting reports must not read as well as the health clearance. Either that, or he's expecting more than he should after a half season with no playoffs on a team that desperately needed him in the post.

18. Bob Probert was working on a memoir of his life as a tough guy at the rink that his family has decided to go ahead and publish. Its called 'Tough Guy.' Not all people who work with their hands are creative individuals folks.

19. The Panthers have gone Shatner using the Priceline "Negotiator" system to name your own price for tickets to a game. Casual hockey fans love shit like this, but what about the season ticket holders who are shelling out top dollar for their seats, and have been for years in order to get the deal and the seats they want and deserve?

20. Foppa is doing the Favre. Just when you thought the Kovalchuk ordeal was sickening.

21. By the way, what kind of 'Mickey Mouse' operation is the NHLPA that agreed to select Bloch as the arbitrator, a man who worked for the NFL and was dismissed for being biased towards the League, and then sat idly by as they voided Kovy's contract?

22. Speaking of the NHLPA, ever thought about interviewing over there?

23. Any reason to suspect Kaberle actually being moved? No, none.

24. How does this shit happen in this day and age? The Capitals weren't even through the first round, do you need that much time to schedule an engraving?

25. Restricted Free Agents yet unsigned... Bobby Ryan, Carey Price, Marc Staal, and James Neal.

26. Someone tossed out the idea of throwing a long-term deal at Ryan with of course the cap circumventing cap hit in order to get his ass signed for longer than when the Getzlaf and Perry deals expire. It wasn't a bad one, that was of course until the League announced that they were looking at all long-term deals signed within the last decade or so.

27. We love walkinvisible, especially when she takes the NHL marketing/merchandising department to task. And rightfully so.

28. By the way, we're also Puck Daddy fanboys too. Just in case you didn't notice.

29. One last thing on the "Great Rejection"... Any reason why the League didn't put a stop to these long-term deals when they allowed the abomination of the Dipietro deal to occur? Between that and the Yashin deal, do you think those two alone could stand as the reasons to sink that once-proud franchise for good?

30. Could the Flames Heritage Classic jersey be any more hideous than the Habs jersey is boring? Especially after all those crazy jerseys we got to enjoy all two centennial season long.

I did it. How fitting is that? On what could be my last post, I finally hit the mark that Elliotte hits week after week. I applaud you sir. I applaud all of you. Thanks for reading.

I'm 30, But I Don't Have That Many Thoughts

2010-07-12T15:22:00.000-07:00

I don't know what to tell you... I'm slowing down, I forget things, I don't come up with as many things to forget, I'm thinking about my health. Age has hit me like a ton of bricks and I only turned 30!

The lack of posts has been embarassing and I deeply apologize to my legions of readers. All twelve of you. I've been tied up with all those things that end up in life's shopping cart as you hit middle age, marriage, kids, buying homes, buying small, fast cars to match up with your phallic size and shortcomings. I'd like to blame it all on an extreme consumption of booze but alas, my wife has curbed that as well. These are not thoughts, this is my life... you want to get on with the thoughts, okay, but thinking about what your team did in the offseason is just as depressing as whatever we were just talking about.

1. Please, step away from the Kovalchuk

Its not bad enough that this guy is completely worthless in his own end, its that he has the nuts to ask for an unholy amount of cash in order to feed his kids. And teams are bending over in order to entice him into putting it into their ass. I hope he drags his greedy ass back to the KHL, his inflated salary sinks the League, the poor of the country become enraged and take down the political structure, falling back into communism, just so that boyish Ilya is left broke and penniless, and responsible for the collapse of his homeland. That would be justice for all of us having nothing else to read but this retarded Russian soap opera.

2. St. Petersburg is Not Ust-kamenogorsk

No matter how bad you want it to be. Evgeni Nabokov has headed to SKA St. Petersburg of the KHL instead of taking an amount of money he's actually worth. Think I'm picking on these money-hungry Russians too much? Well, stop. Nabokov's actually from Kazakhstan. If obtaining the almighty dollar is more important than lifting the silver chalice than I don't want these fucks in my League anyway.

3. The Balance of Mediocrity is Shifting

Oh my friends from Calgary, I feel for you, I really do. Not only has the Daz Dismissal Counter gone Dodo, but now he's pulling reclamation projects out of his own 'Discard' pile. Bringing back Alex Tanguay to the Flames is strange but not entirely unexplainable given that he did have some chemistry with Iginla way back when, despite the large-looming fact that his best days are behind him, (that was meant for Tanguay, but sadly it applies to 'Romie as well.) But the move that made even the creepy Pierre McGuire speechless is bringing back Jokinen for only slightly less money. The ape was thought to be limiting his talent in Florida, and was stuck into a new laboratory in Phoenix. When that produced minimal results, he was dealt to Calgary with the Sutter braintrust hoping to have finally found a centerman for Iggy. Less than mediocre results prompted Darryl to deal him to the Rangers at the deadline for Higgins (now gone) and the puzzling Kotalik (now waived). Supposedly Daz admitted to "the Joke" that he never should have traded him, the primate grunted and nodded in agreement. If the roster swapping with Burke and the Leafs wasn't enough to send you to the ends of the Saddle, then this move has surely sent you over the edge.

4. Bettman's Salary

The guy with a name fit for Nascar, Tripp Mickle from the Sports Business Journal dug up some crotch-kicking financial info for the League brass. Apparently, the little man from Queens rakes in about $7.2 million for being combative and argumentative with anyone who attempts to question his methods. Daly earns just south of $2 mil, and Collie makes less than a $1.5mil, and do more damage control than the boss. Its not bad enough that everyone hates this guy, but that he's overpaid to be hated? Sometimes I wonder if anyone in that position would be hated, or if its just that this smirking, shitty little troll makes it easier to hate him.

5. Dropping the Hammer

Four years for $14 million, approximately $3.5mil/year. Not too shabby for a young defenseman who shined alongside Olympic defensemen Keith and Seabrook. I would say its probably a $1mil to a $1.5mil too high but that's the point or the screws that Doug Wilson was trying to put to Stan Bowman and the Hawks. But Hjalmarsson played to the spotlight and was bound to get a few bites in the open market.

6. My Ass Restricted

Is this gentleman's agreement ever going to go? I am amazed that more of these are not handed out by ruthless GM's looking to fuck a competitor over. I don't think I'm fully understanding the "penalty" an offering team suffers with regards to draft picks when a RFA accepts and the former team doesn't match.

7. Sweet Release

The word is that all teams are basically holding until Kovalchuk signs or Kaberle gets dealt. I don't really understand this other than the fact that it has an impact on market value. But its not like 30 teams are in the mix for Kovy, the smart ones are staying out of it, and those desperate are decorating their anus with sprinkles. Burke is going to perpetually dangle Kaberle until he feels he's legally getting away with robbery. I get the feeling that Tomas is severly overvalued and if he was to be dealt that you would see a similar situation as Bouwmeester in Calgary for the team that lands him.

8. Lots of Fish in the Sea

There's a ridiculous amount of free agents available. We could see a second opening day of free agency once the previously mentioned above mess gets sorted out. I'm not going to do the math, but I think there's more guys unsigned than there were signed after July 1st.

9. Back to Bouw

I get that feeling that Bouwmeester might have a bounce back season this year. But that still won't make Daz look like a genius. Or even competent.

10. No Mo'?

Its funny how some teams respect the aging legends on their team, (see: Anaheim Ducks, Teemu Selanne, Scott Niedermayer), and other teams tell their legends that they're done, (see: Dallas Stars, Mike Modano). Ironic how the Ducks are one of the teams offering Mikey another year. The Wings don't have the space to pay him a respectable amount, while Minnesota doesn't offer anything remotely close to a shot at the Cup. San Jose would take on another aging vet but of course it would be under Wilson's hard line. Modano first stated that if he went anywhere it'd be somewhere in the Pacific Division before Ken Holland came calling.

11. No Love for Frolov

Talk about somebody really waiting to see where the Kovalchuk stack of chips fall. He's been patient but its hard to tell if he'll be the next winger sought after "the decision" is made, or if GM's are staying away from yet another enigma. Frolov's going to chip a few in but never be a breakout or game changing player, he's just not. I don't think his salary demands are going to match up with the assessment, and he'll be off to the KHL.

12. Its a Brave New World

Its amazing to see how the offseason game has changed with the nuances of the collective bargaining agreement and the development of the Kontinental Hockey League. I mentioned before there are hordes of legitimate free agents available, and now with the KHL as a semi-legitimate alternative, bonafide NHL players who are more interested in collecting paychecks than a place in history are heading to the other side of the pond.

13. Dude, Where's My Locker?

Its become pretty apparent now that the Bruins are attempting to distance themselves from Marc Savard and his slightly shifted sponge. I still think his value is high, and its surprising to think that Chiarelli can't find a suitor for his playmaking. But the push to move him is a need to free up cash and reduce the glut at center.

14. At Least He Got Seguin

Or maybe its just that other GM's don't want to deal with Chiarelli considering the way he's handled Savard and Thomas and issued them large multi-year contract extensions.

15. ReKhab

There's a chance that Nikolai Khabibulin could face 30 days in jail or be in Phoenix for court when the season opens or at the very least when training camp opens this season. Khabby was nailed for extreme DUI and speeding while nursing that injured back of his. Say it with me, "Speed." "80." That opens the door for the Oilers to get out of that $3.75mil per until 2013 that's hurting their back. Then again, Khabibulin might be the best player on that roster.

16. Training Your New Boss

In a situation that's not all that different from mine at the workplace, Darryl Sutter may have very well found his replacement for the Calgary GM position. Jay Feaster, the enemy from the '04 finals was just hired as assistant GM to Daz in Cowtown. Apparently, the man who may be headed for a straightjacket contacted Feaster and brought him in to meet Ken King for an interview. So after dropping three members of the Flames brass, Feaster was hired to help clean up the mess that the Dazman has made. I guess this could be seen as an improvement for the Flames faithful, but then again I know how certain members of that congregation feel about Feaster. And not because of that Game 6 no goal.

17. Remove Your Gloves

A moment of silence for maybe the greatest pugilist to ever play in the NHL, Bob Probert.

30 Thoughts, or Less

2010-06-24T12:21:00.001-07:00

Welcome to the mockery of a thieved idea that I happen to think is great. Check that. Reverse it. I love Elliotte Friedmann's 30 Thoughts, so much so that I decided to steal the idea, and half-ass it, as I passionately love to do. So without any knowledge or any of that fancy insider information I bring you... 30 Thoughts, or Less.

1. Not as Dumb as He Looks
Despite how well he photographs, Wilson has signed Marleau and kicked Nabokov to the curb. He's obviously voiced his displeasure about St. Pat before, but when it came down to brass tacks, he told Nabokov, "No thanks, we're full," when it came to his playoff failures. Marleau is a cornerstone, as he has been for the Sharks since they drafted him behind Joe Thornton. Nabokov is yet another Russian goalie who has imploded when it counted.

2. Jumbo Next?
I would not be surprised to a) see the Sharks pass on re-signing Thornton, or b) begin shopping him in the middle of the season when his value's high dishing passes to Heatley and Marleau. Then again, there's always that postseason thing that the Sharks hold out hope for.

3. One More Thing
They re-signed RFA Pavelski after his epic postseason. They did not do that for Setoguchi, who was not epic, or postseason. Like the Sharks.

4. Chanelling the Boom
Nashville is billing Blake Geoffrion as the second coming of Boom Boom. Maybe he should talk to Stamkos about the pressure a franchise puts on you when you become the basket they hold all their eggs with.

5. You Got Hart?
The awards pretty much fell the way everyone expected them to with the exception being the Hart that went to Hank Sedin. Sedin won the Art Ross in a ridiculous 4point final game in the regular season, but had stiff competition from fan favorites Crosby and Ovechkin. Lots of grumbling today about it all, I think Crosby probably earned it out of those three, but I'm glad to see Hank win it. Bryzgalov would have been my next choice, but he didn't win the Vezina so how can he win the Hart, and then you have that debate.

6. The Job Hunter
Last year's Vezina winner might be looking for a change of address after the Bruins gave his agent permission to speak with other teams about a trade. Rask has inherited the job after playing a little less than half the regular season, and a pretty solid postseason. He just signed a four year deal last season with about $5mil per and a no move clause.

7. Roaming Goalies
Lots of movement this offseason when it comes to goaltenders, and after the postseason's saw back-ups and rookies battle their way to the Cup, teams are re-thinking the term "money goaltending." Halak instead of Price, Nabokov's out of San Jose, Turco's been out of Dallas since March, who knows what the hell they're going to do in Philadelphia.

8. Do You Feel That Cold Air?
This draft certainly doesn't have the buildup that last year had. It seems obvious that Hall's going #1, and Seguin's going #2, and after that nobody seems to care. With it being in LA this would have been the first opportunity I've had to attend, but sadly real life beckons. Boo fucking hoo, how exciting could a draft be anyway?

9. Anyone Want to Overpay?
With Marleau signed, Ilya Kovalchuk becomes the only option for teams seeking an offensive dynamo. Marleau offered skill on both sides of the rink, Kovalchuk can skate loops just inside the blueline, but that's about as far as he'll venture in. Los Angeles seems to be in the market for one of those defensive zone buzzing flies.

10. Adding Validity
How much more respectable do the Florida franchises look after adding General Managers with good hockey reputations?

11. Two Approaches
But the differences between Tallon and Yzerman are night and day. Yzerman's going to take the slow, measured approach to team architecture, while Tallon's building it like a contractor, "get it done quick." Although most contractors will build as cheap as they can and that's not necessarily Tallon's style (see: deconstruction of a winner in Chicago).

12. How Many Licks Does it Take?
How much would it suck to win a Stanley Cup and then get traded two weeks later. To Atlanta (or Edmonton). I'm not sure which part is worse.

13. Think of the Children
Todd Bertuzzi has agreed to a two-year, $3.875 million deal with the Detroit Red Wings. “It’s just a really good fit for me,” the forward said. “My kids were so pumped when they found out we’re going back for two more years—now my son gets to stay in his hockey program, and they get to go back to the same schools.” Bertuzzi's got kids?!?! Somebody save them!

That was 13 and I'm left feeling impotent. That's a natural feeling for me. Enjoy the draft, and looking forward to July 1st.

Trading Places

2010-06-24T10:59:00.000-07:00

Seems I can't keep up with the slow pace of the offseason.

Trades from latest to earliest...

Byfuglien/Eager/Sopel and prospect Akim Aliu to Atlanta
---> Reasoner/Morin, 2010 1st round (24th overall) and 2nd rounder (54th overall) to Chicago

Can somebody please just start boxing up this Thrashers franchise or at the very least get someone down there with some hockey knowledge and some kind of grasp of today's game? Between Waddell and Dudley they have run this ship aground with the engines still at full. Tell me, what does Sopel or Eager offer to the Thrashers? An "experienced" defenseman with the wheels falling off, and a checking line knuckle dragger. That's what that roster needed, not an infusion of some young talent. And to top it off, I just about guarantee that Byfuglien gets shipped elsewhere before the year is over. His value shines in the postseason not the regular season, and the Thrash don't do the postseason so good. Morin is supposed to be bad ass too.

Horton/Campbell to Boston
--> Wideman, 2010 1st round (15th overall) and 2011 3rd rounder to Florida

Horton, the man notorious for stupid faces, wanted out of Florida (Who doesn't?) and that's been pretty clear since about January. Wideman was nearly beaten out of Beantown until he got his shit together in the postseason. Their salaries are just about a wash at around $4mil., and they both get that "fresh start" that we all masterbate to. The Bruins get some leverage on the Wheel of Discipline with Campbell and already have the number two pick or Tyler Seguin from Toronto. Tallon on the other hand has collected a fifth pick in the first 50 of this year's draft, the third overall, the new fifteenth, plus three more in the second round. He's already done more than Jacques Martin ever did.

Arnott back to Jersey
---> Halischuk and 2011 2nd rounder

Nashville's captain just waived his no-trade clause to return to the Devils for a promising prospect and a pick. What else is on TV?

The rights to Hamhuis and a conditional 2011 pick to Philadelphia
---> Parent heads back to Nashville

This deal strikes me as lopsided in favor of the Flyers. Wasn't Hamhuis one of the most sought after defenseman at the deadline by playoff teams looking for a mover at the back end? I know the Preds desperately wanted to get Parent back, but I didn't think they were willing to give up Hamhuis and toss in a draft pick for good measure. Then again I guess if its an eighth rounder it really doesn't mean shit anyway. Late word is that Holmgren and Hamhuis are far apart on getting a deal done.

Halak to St. Louis
---> Promising prospect Eller and so/so prospect Schultz to Montreal

'Should we go with the humble guy out of Slovakia that we drafted in the umpteenth round in '03 and killed it for us in the post this year, or the overindulgent dumbass that we put all our faith in with our first round selection in '05 and didn't do shit for us except open the bench door?'

'Uh, let's go with Plan B.'

I know this decision wasn't Pierre Gauthier's alone, but this has to prove that this guy does not belong in a GM's seat. Its got to be pride that the Habs braintrust didn't want to have to swallow and admit that they were wrong about Price, and instead put their pressurized hopes in him when he sure as shit didn't earn it. Unless its cash, and they're cheaping out, which doesn't sound like a team that traded for the Gomez contract. Then again, that may be why.

But I have to admit, it does take a lot of balls from Gauthier to pull something like this, especially when he knew the fan base would be calling for his head shortly thereafter. But has Price's value diminished so much on the open market that they had to resort to this move? Almost everyone in the hockey world agreed that he needed the ol' "fresh start" to get his career, his game, and his head back in order. Were there really no takers for him?

And the return? Lars Eller better be the next Niklas Backstrom in order to put out that fire in Montreal. For Christ's sake he's a Dane! When's the last time you heard of a quality hockey product coming out of Denmark? Jannik Hansen? Really?

And now the Blues look like a playoff contender, although I'm not sure how credible that makes them, upgrading from Mason to Halak. They also grabbed TJ Hensick from the Avs making it the busiest day in Blues history in the last decade. Or two.

Potential Suspects?

Kaberle is the usual suspect, this time he's linked to a swap with Marc Savard. Boston's got a glut of centers and just dished their puck mover in Wideman. Savard would salivate already rabid Leaf fans linking him back up with Kessel.

Mike Ribeiro is a fuck, and nobody wants him on their team. Well somebody might, but apparently its not Dallas according to EJ Hradek who's been known to be overly filled with shit.

Spezza to the Blue Jackets is the hot rumor that makes too much sense to happen. Nash needs someone to dish him the puck, Spezza needs out of Ottawa (who doesn't?). Murray's too stubborn to allow another diva demand a trade and get what he wants, and Howson's too inept to actually make something happen.

And I laugh sinisterly from my chair in the basement...

Blackhawk Roster Thoughts

2010-06-15T15:48:00.000-07:00

And the inevitable has happened. Despite all the questioning of goaltending, the depth, the drive, and the chemistry proved to be the right formula. The revitalized Blackhawks organization has brought home the ultimate prize, if only for one year. The championship winning roster pushed up to the cap and then some, and now there is some value engineering to be done. Just some thoughts on the key (and not so key) members of this lineup...

Jonathan Toews - The new Sidney Crosby (Thank Christ). Think about the year he's had... An Olympic Gold Medal and named the tournament's best forward, then accepting the Stanley Cup as Captain and the hands down winner of the Conn Smythe. And he's already won a World Championship (and a Junior Championship) to become the youngest member of the elusive Triple Gold Club. That's pretty motherfuckin' impressive. That's not being in the right place at the right time, that's being a major cog in the wheels that won those championships. And he's humble.

Patrick Kane - The Yang to Toews Yin. While the kid's got a nose for the net, he's not even close to the vicinity of the complete player that Toews is. I don't know what it is about him, maybe the arrogance, the invincibility, the God complex he carries, that makes me not want to see him succeed. Maybe I'm just hatin'.

Marian Hossa - So unable to believe that he won the Cup that he actually didn't want to take it from Toews. And now everyone's screaming "trade him!" It kinda makes sense in a salary dump/high current market value way, but that would be his fifth team in four seasons. On the other hand, he's one of the pieces you have locked up if you can get the rest of the dollars to add up. And I'm not sure who would be willing to take on that $7.9mil anchor of a contract for the next four years without a support staff already in place.

Dustin Byfuglien - Another arrogant prick. But he's big and he plays big. That is, at least when he's got future HOFer's on his line. I think of two other examples of NHL players when I think of Byfuglien... Dustin Penner, in the sense that his linemates made him better, and he'll probably sign some ridiculous offer sheet that he'll never live up without a supporting cast. And Ray Emery, that all this shit is gonna go right to his head, and make him implode.

Duncan Keith - Another humble warrior. Between Keith and Toews, this team has enough leadership for two teams. Look for that to happen in four years. My choice for the Norris despite the fact the odds are on to Doughty.

Brent Seabrook - Really surprised me as to the kind of player and defenseman he is. His spot on the Canadian roster was for real, and this duo is the best pairing in the League right now.

Andrew Ladd - Did you ever think that Ladd would be a two-time Stanley Cup winner? Now this is being in the right place at the right time.

Patrick Sharp - One of the most underrated forwards in the League. And this guy can shoot the fucking puck.

Niklas Hjalmarsson - One of the most underrated young defensemen in the League. I'd be surprised if the Bowmans' let him walk.

Kris Versteeg - In serious competition with Sean Avery as League's top douchenozzle. I have no doubt the rest of this team will have no problem saying goodbye to this cum stain.

Antti Niemi - If you had to guess which Finnish goaltender between Kiprusoff, Backstrom, and Niemi would win the Cup first, would anyone have the balls to give any thought to Niemi? Its funny despite him getting a ring for the Blackhawks, I'll still don't see him as their long-term goaltender. It'll be interesting to see how the perspective on him in the hockey world will change next year (i.e. Cam Ward).

Cristobal Huet - Have you ever seen a cleaner set of pads for a Stanley Cup picture before? This guy winning a Stanley Cup is an insult. If they have to remove someone else's name to fit Dale Tallon's on, I petition that it should be Huet's.

Brian Campbell - Had his lowest season point totals since his first few years with the Sabres, and his lowest postseason point total ever despite playing in 19 games. This is not the same Brian Campbell that we once knew. He still skates through the neutral zone with the greatest of ease, but there's something about his game that's dramatically different.

Tomas Kopecky - Next to Adam Burrish and Ben Eager, the most useless part of this team.

Book It?

2010-06-06T17:17:00.001-07:00

Is it safe to say that whoever wins a Game 5 after the teams are knotted at two is the eventual winner?

I don't have the answer, or feel like doing the research, but that's what I'm thinking.

And Arby's.

Stanley Cup Final Prediction

2010-05-28T09:47:00.000-07:00

Well seeing as how I went 0-2 in the Conference Finals, 2-4 in the Semifinals, and 5-8 in the Quarterfinals for an overall total of 7-14, you might as well flip a friggin' coin once again. At least I admitted that I thought it would be wrong on both, for whatever the fuck that's worth.

I'm not going to elaborate too much on this matchup, I think the Cup is the Hawks to lose, and the Flyers are very capable of that upset. It is an extremely well-balanced matchup, and one that I think any hockey fan can appreciate if you've done enough healing since early April to get over the loss of either a) not making the postseason or, b) or not being one of these two teams. I am glad that this is not a repeat matchup, and I think its fitting that both Philadelphia and Chicago are the cities/teams involved.

Enough of that happy horseshit, I'm taking the Hawks in six. I feel like anyone picking this series to go seven games might as well take the Flyers, because if goes that far its going to come down to who wants it more. I believe the Flyers have more desire, where the Blackhawks have operated like a finely tuned machine, (a term I often used for the Wings in years past). Chicago has suffered that all important lesson of going deep last season, only to come up short, whereas the Flyers were bounced out in the first round to the eventual SC Champions last season.

Hockey is coming to its seasons end folks, until we begin the process of re-building for next year, after awarding those who earned accolades, only to get ready to do it all again. So long from hockey-mad New Mexico.

Devils Den

2010-05-24T13:40:00.001-07:00

Often thought as a model franchise, (behind Detroit of course), the New Jersey Devils have made the postseason 14 times out of the past 15 seasons, travelled to 4 Stanley Cup Finals, and won the Cup 3 out of those 4 times. In that same time they've gone through 9 head coaches, including two separate stints with Larry Robinson and Jacques Lemaire, and 11 head coaches if you count General Manager Lou Lamoriello coming downstairs to get inside the glass. Four coaches in the last five seasons, once again, not including Lou stepping in for Robinson's health departure, and Claude Julien's firing before the '06-'07 postseason. And once again the Devils are looking to fill another vacancy at the head coaching position.

Pat Burns led the team from '02-'05 with a Cup in '03, before retiring from head coaching after suffering bouts of colon and liver cancer in '04 and '05 respectively. Larry Robinson then took over the reigns once again, having originally served as head coach from '00 to '02, however his second stint was short lived, citing stress and other health problems as his reasons for resigning halfway through the '05-'06 season. Insert your off-color "the Devils are killing their coach" joke here.

Friar Lou took over the team then, taking the team to the Conference Semifinals before losing to the Hurricanes who would go on to win the Cup that year. Lamoriello then hired Claude Julien to coach the following year, but canned him at the end of the regular season despite the fact the Julien had the Devils winning the Division and 2nd in the Conference. It was "the team's lack of readiness to challenge for the Stanley Cup," that led Lou to replacing Claude with none other than himself. Losing once again in the semifinals, LL hired Brent Sutter to take over as coach. Sutter kept New Jersey in the postseason, but not for long, suffering 1st round defeats in his two years as head coach. Shortly after the season was over, Sutter resigned, citing family reasons as the cause of his "homesickness." Two weeks later, it was family who hired him to take over coaching duties for the Flames.

So Jacques Lemaire once again returned to the Devils bench this past year, after resigning from his 10 year tenure with the Minnesota Wild, to guide them to yet another 1st round exit. Almost immediately following that disappointing season, Lemaire retired for what we can only assume is for good.

That's only eight years of head coaching history there folks. And the Devils are what we consider a "stable" franchise.

Lamoriello has run the Devils like a dictatorship since '87 with a firm grasp on all aspects of the franchise. His history with the club is impeccable, visiting the postseason 18 of the 20 seasons he's been in command since the team relocated to New Jersey, with three Stanley Cups to show for it. With a continuously competitive team, he's managed to draft, groom, and retain many high profile players through the system. But is it his style coupled with his selection of hard-nosed coaches that's resulted in player's (and maybe coaches too) being dissatisified with their work environment? I think the signs are starting to show now more than ever.

The first sign, if it wasn't the coaching carousel of years past, was captain Jamie Langenbrunner's silence and obvious displeasure. The media speculated that it was sparked by his assignment to the pressbox late in the season, and Jamie's quest for playing all 82 games of the season. It turned out that it wasn't just that, but it was Lemaire's attempt to try to hand Colin White the "C" that rubbed him the wrong way. White declined, but the damage had been done, as a difference of opinion between coach and captain had been brewing since Christmas. Langenbrunner was quoted after the season as saying,

“There were a few things that happened, a few issues that were tough for me to let go. I probably didn’t handle them correctly. Not all personalities completely mesh, but they are able to work together. I had no problems with the way he treated me. It was more about team issues that we would never agree on.”

Team members revealed some of those issues to be about the handling of lineup changes and more prominently the freedom given to Ilya Kovalchuk when he was brought over at the deadline from Atlanta.

Players would be told after the morning skate that they would be in the lineup that night, only to receive text messages informing them that there was a change of plans. This occurred not only in the regular season but in the postseason as well. Elliotte Friedman even mentioned it in his 30 thoughts this week,

"22) I was absolutely blown away by some of this story on the Devils by Rich Chere of the Newark Star-Ledger. Text messaging players after a game-day skate to tell them they weren't in that night? Just awful.

23) How much of a breach in protocol is that? I heard one player in this year's playoffs go crazy because he was told (last-second) he wasn't playing by the goaltending coach. I asked Garry Galley and Healy (combined 31 seasons) if this was acceptable and both said no way. An assistant coach should do it if the head man doesn't."

Text message or goaltending coach, if you don't have the balls to tell the man face-to-face than you shouldn't be taking him out of the lineup. Especially in the playoffs.

But the bigger issue seemed to be about Kovalchuk's role on the team. On a club that is all about "team" and "defense," this "individual" seemed to have precedence over the rest of the team that's had to buy-in to this system. In Rich Chere's follow up article to Lemaire's retiring, Jacques had the following to say, comparing Kovalchuk's talent with his experience with Marian Gaborik in Minnesota,

“I had the opportunity to coach Gaborik,” he explained. “I tried at the start to get Gabby to play a two-way game as good as he could play. You know what? It wasn’t working because Gaborik is an offensive player and he has to think offense pretty much 90 percent of the time he is on the ice. The 10 percent when he thinks defensively is when he is in his own zone.

“I heard people say when Kovalchuk came, ‘He’s going to make him a defensive player.’ No. These guys have to go offensive. They certainly have to be responsible at certain times, which I thought Kovy was and I thought Gaborik was. But you cannot try to change these guys’ games. That’s one thing I’ve learned in my career.

“He played different than the other guys because of his talent. I have no problem with that. He had 6-7 chances a game. You think I’m going to tell him to play defense? Come on. We’re looking to score goals here. Give me a break.

“I let him play as much as I could as long as it didn’t disturb the whole team: ‘Play the way you want, but be responsible when it’s time to come back and when it’s time to do the job in your zone.’ Which he was.”

Problem was, it did disturb the whole team. A different set of rules or standards were set aside for this dynamicaly offensive, yet defensively anemic acquisition, and the rest of the team wasn't having it, nor should they.

When word came over the wire that New Jersey was interested in Kovalchuk, I immediately shot it down thinking that 'he'll never work in that system.' I felt like an idiot after Lou landed him, but my thoughts were apparently right on. The front office wanted Kovy's goal-scoring and were willing to give him a pass for his defensive liability, which was clearly identified in Atlanta. Half of the Devils locker room was probably willing to allow it if he brought something to the offense, while the other half wasn't having any of it. Is that what Jacques meant by the 'whole' team wasn't disrupted?

In any case the Devils, or maybe just Lamoriello have a bunch of questions to answer. 'Who do we get in here to coach this team?' 'Do we continue with the present mold of coaches we have in the past and hire Ken Hitchcock?' 'Can we win it all with this type of situation in place in the post-lockout NHL, or are we asking for another implosion in the locker room?' 'Do we attempt to bring Ilya Kovalchuk back in the Fall?'

Blips

2010-05-18T16:21:00.001-07:00

I've been deliquent, I know people. Priorities are what get in the way when you don't get paid to do what you want to be doing. And that as always is talking hockey. But I don't think I'm totally at fault. The lengthy blogroll to your left hasn't been exactly prolific. How's that for throwin' those fuckers I don't even know under the bus?! But its true, everyone's concentrating so much on actual hockey, because its playoff hockey, that there isn't all that other superfluous bullshit. Well we'll try and find it, and then wade through it.

No Longer Relegated to the United Center Basement

Someone allowed Tallon to escape. No one knows who, it sure as hell wasn't the Bowman's. As loyal as Dale is, Scotty would never believe that Tallon would keep his mouth shut about Stan fucked up all those RFA offers. Should have killed him Scotty, you would never get convicted in Canada. Or Detroit. Probably was McDonough. He fucking hates Dale. But anyway, Tallon got hired to take over the mess that is Florida and has nothing but big expectations in front of him after getting all the credit for building what is now the Blackhawks. Look at this way Dale, there's nowhere to go but up, but its long way up to any level of respectability. Look for the big shake-up somewhere around July 1st, if he's got a blank check.

You Thought Florida Was Bad? Try Tampa

Its the job nobody wants. Even after the two season sideshow has been removed, and a "respectable" owner has been found, who at least looks reasonably headed in the right direction. Vinik supposedly is receiving assistance in the selection of a new General Manager from the "experts" at the NHL. Four offers, and still a vacancy. Stevie Y was the hot candidate for a while, but that's cooled off now, Riseborough supposedly walked through the office and then realized that Floridians want exciting hockey and passed on the job. Ronny Hextall has been mentioned as well, but it sounds like he wants no part of that mess. So everyone just assumes that Pierre McGuire is the only option left. Hell, if you're going to hire that jackass you might as well bring back 'the Mullet' behind the bench. McGuire's resume is thin, and that's being polite, while his use of the word "monster" and uncomfortable touching of other men on air is a heavy file. It makes me wonder if anyone has thought about bringing Jay Feaster back in.

Returning to the Lineup

As usual, the playoffs are filled with players playing injured, and of course the sprinkle of injuries so horrific that they actually can't play. Gasp! Ryan Kesler was on the former list and as effective as a broken stick, as is Dany Heatley who's still hobbling around in a vain attempt to still make a good impression on his new teammates. Many speculated that Ovechkin had some kind of hitch in his giddyup, and it seems the only plausible excuse for Malkin's disappearance this entire season, despite both of them suiting up for the white, blue, and red at Worlds. Then you bring on the actual, vivid descriptions of the playoff injury such as the dreaded lower or upper body injuries. Markov's LBI in Game 1 against the Pens, or the undeniable leg laceration that Hal Gill suffered. A pair of broken feet for Flyer forwards Gagne and Carter that required surgery, and a trifecta for Pennsylvania if you throw in Jordan Staal's miraculous recovery. And that's what I can't understand, is how these guys return to professional hockey so goddamn quickly after suffering an injury. Did anyone think Brian Campbell would return to action any time soon with a broken collarbone? I mean its hockey, not pingpong, rib cages connected to the, collarbone, will be flexed by contact, its not his jejunum, he can play without one of those. Staal returned a few games later after having a severed tendon surgically repaired in his foot. Now Markov had surgery on his ACL or MCL or some CL, and is supposedly out 6 months. Are we going to see him in the Stanley Cup finals when the Habs once again pull off that miracle upset in 7?

Hot
Briere/Gagne/Leino - Briere took all the shit he's been suffering through in Philadelphia since he's signed that whale back in '07, with all of his injuries and lack of production, and produced when it counted the most. Nine goals, nine assists in 14 games. Gagne's been a "McGuire" since returning from injury notching game winning goals in pivotal moments in the seriesesssss. Six goals, three assists in 10 games. Leino, after quietly coming over from Detroit in a trade just before the deadline, has earned his spot on Laviolette's roster. Three goals, eight assists in 10 games.

Leighton - Wrap your head around this. Leighton has not allowed a goal since 14 minutes into the first period of Game 7 against the Bruins. That's 166 minutes of shutout hockey. Of course, tonight the Habs will score. He's only allowed four goals since taking over for Boucher in Game 5, preserving that shutout. And the Flyers only paid $11,250.- for him.

Flyers in general - On top of the three forwards and the waiver wire steal already mentioned, you've got Richards playing like a captain with 18 points (5G, 13A), Pronger just shutting down the blueline not to mention his 4 goals and 8 assists, and veteran play out of the younger guys in Giroux and vanRiemsdyk.

Toews/Kane/Byfuglien - Toews leads all playoff performers with 23 points (7G, 16A) in 14 games, leading by example, and showing great poise as a young captain. I don't know how Kane doesn't get plastered every night with his dipsy doodling. I guess they can't catch him. He really knows his way around the offensive zone, and really knows how to pick his spots with 7 goals, 11 assists. Byfuglien has 6 soul crushing goals and if that didn't get you I'm sure his shoulder or his agitating personality will.

Chicago in general - I don't know if its the depth, but everyone on this team is contributing in their own personal way. I think the Q is coaching the shit out of these guys too, getting good matchups, and response from his players when called upon.

Cammalleri - Twelve goals leads all postseason scorers, coupled with 6 assists for 18 points in 16 games. He's had some secondary support in the first two rounds, but the whole team needs to step it up to get back into these Conference Finals.

Subban - Why was this kid not brought up sooner? No one has been able to answer that for me. His skating is incredible, and he's got the desire of a kid who just broke into the League.

Halak - I still consider him hot because he's not the reason the Habs aren't scoring. Not to mention the facts that, he's the main reason they're still playing this late in May, and he has a penchant for bouncing back, as does the rest of this team.

Joe Pavelski - Again, has cooled off, but has 9 goals, 6 assists in 13 games. Is not getting the secondary help, and this whole team will need to respond quickly, to avoid the stamp of "CHOKE."

Not
Nabokov - Has sucked this entire postseason. I cannot remember a single game where he was the difference for a win. However I can remember plenty of goals where blame could be placed squarely on him. If the Sharks lose this series, I expect Wilson to look for new goaltending.

Sharks in general - Fragile. Fire hasn't worked in the past with Ron Wilson, and it certainly doesn't work in the tanning both with Doug Wilson. There's a ridiculous number of incredible hockey players on this team and they're just folding. Where is that fucking Olympic line now? The young gang of Pavelski, Clowe, and Setoguchi bailed their asses out in the first round, and they finally put something together against the Wings, and now they've vanished again. All of them. This team should have the same blood thirst they had in the second round, carried over against the Hawks.

Gomez - He's got 10 assists and 1 goal, does that make his contract worth it?

I'm sure there's a lot more, but they're already on the sixth hole by now.

Conference Final Predictions; The Elaborated Version

2010-05-17T16:16:00.001-07:00

I know how to pick 'em, don't I? I got two losers in Game 1! But hey, that's why its best of seven, right?! I basically went 50% in the last round, so you could consult with me, or flip a friggin' coin and probably do just fine. I put my faith in the Canucks as my preseason pick, and they flopped like a fish out of water. Woulda been nice to see that one come to fruition. But the Flyers made me look like a genius, stealing back the series in seven games after being on the ropes. Montreal decided to defy the odds once again, so I'm not going against them again, but it didn't look too Cinderella-y last night. Honestly I think its a crap shoot on whoever comes out of the West is probably your eventual winner. Lets break it down a little further for you ignants...

#7 Philadelphia Flyers vs. #8 Montreal Canadiens
I don't think anyone could've predicted that matchup for the conference finals. Once again, the East proves that the seedings are meaningless. Montreal took out the top team in the League (points-wise), then went on to defeat the defending Champs to head on to the Conference Finals. Not too shabby for a team that had the worst record heading into the post. The Habs success is hinging on three things, maybe four, depending on how much you "believe." 1) They've bought into the system, and its working against the best teams in the East, 2) Their triggermen are clicking at just the right time, and its more than one guy doing it. Even though Cammalleri is stealing the show. And 3) Halak. Up until last night, a minus one game per series, this guy is a fucking machine. He's playing like he's got something to prove, and he does. Looks like Allen Walsh wasn't really just blowin' smoke up everyone's ass, he had a legitimate point as to who the starter should be. At $775k per this guy is not only a savior, he's a bargain, and he is the Contract Anomaly, (I wrote nothing about Halak). The fourth, bullshit intangible is that the Habs believe they can do it. Hell, its almost like they've already done the heavy lifting, except for that pesky Stanley Cup championship thingy.
The Flyers are another low seed, but are just proving that they have in them what everybody originally thought they had. The goaltending situation is just getting to be ri-goddamn-diculous. Gagne returning to lineup has been huge, Richards is playing like a captain, Giroux and vanReimsdyk are playing like crafty veterans, and Laviolette has been the rudder to the previously rudder-less ship. Its hard to go against the Flyers, especially after that 6-0 stomping, but I'm doing it. Like a fucking idiot. Grip Pick: Habs in 6.

#1 San Jose Sharks vs. #2 Chicago Blackhawks
I think this is going to be incredible series, just because of the depth of these teams on both offense and defense. I give the slight edge to the Sharks in goal, and I have very little to say after that. The Sharks will of course need all their depth to show up, the Hawks rarely have that problem, and maybe that's the deal breaker. But I'm sticking with it, like a fucking idiot. Grip Pick: Sharks in 6.

One vs. two, seven vs. eight. I get this funny feeling like it'll either be one and eight to get through, or two and seven, I don't know why. Its no longer predictable. You've got three backup netminders in the final four, killing it right now. That's pretty fucking wild, especially considering the argument about top flite goaltenders, while the likes of Brodeur, Luongo, Miller, and Fleury are sitting at home right now, and last year's Vezina winner was riding the pine this postseason.

Conference Final Predictions

2010-05-16T13:22:00.001-07:00

Since I'm late as shit I'll just do it quick and dirty.

Western Conference

Sharks in 6

Eastern Conference

Habs in 6

I'll be back to elaborate this post when I have the opportunity.

Unbelievable?

2010-05-11T08:00:00.000-07:00

Just like life, the postseason always brings unpredictability. I mean, we all try to pick the winners from the losers, but rare is the occasion where all the pieces fall into place. And if it was all that predictable it wouldn't be all that much fun, would it? This entire season has presented some off the wall ideas that no one thought possible or conceivable. Take for example Philadelphia's goaltending situation, the long running joke since the days of Ronny Hextall...

Boucher, Cechmanek, Esche, Burke, Hackett, Niittymaki, Biron, with a trifecta of Emery, to Leighton, back to Boucher, only now to come back to Leighton. Not to mention a couple of dashes of the Beezer, Dom Roussell, and Garth Snow thrown in the pot as well. Philly was predicted to do it all this year before the season started by the experts, and that was with Emery between the pipes on a one-year "tryout" back from the KHL. Emery went down with a muscle injury in the abdomen that had to be surgically repaired, only to learn about an avascular necrosis condition in his hips that's literally put his career in jeopardy. Leighton was picked up on a waivers to backup Boucher, who was Emery's backup at the time. About two weeks later, Boucher was shelfed with a hand injury that put Leighton in the #1 spot. Leighton played admirably in that stretch, starting in the Winter Classic, and more importantly keeping the Flyers in the hunt. Towards the end of the season, Leighton went down with a high ankle sprain, and Boucher returned to the nets in a critcal time to assure a postseason berth, earning a shootout win in the last game of the season. Boucher was a crucial factor in smacking the #2 seed Devils out of the first round in five games, and was playing well in the second round series against Boston until he suffered this shitty injury to his knees. Leighton took over early in the second of that game, preserving the shutout win and keeping the Flyers in it. It'll be quite the story for the Flyers if they were to win four straight and move on to the Conference Finals despite all the goaltending injuries, coaching changes and dysfunctional locker room.

The race for those final playoff spots in the East came down to the wire with Boston, Philly, and Montreal taking the last three seats, and all three pulling off first round upsets to advance. The Boston/Buffalo matchup was evenly matched and could have gone either way, but it was the Montreal Canadiens over the powerhouse Washington Capitals that really shocked the hockey-watching world. The Habs took it to the Caps and defeated them in seven games with a dogged effort, and speedy couterpunching that is also working in the second round matchup against the defending Cup champs. Grinding it out with a never-say-die attitude, not to mention an incredible effort from Jaroslav Halak in net has been the reason for the Montreal success as they force the Pens into a Game 7 on Wednesday night. For a team that wasn't a sure bet to make it to the dance at season's end, becoming the team that knocks off the #1 seed Capitals, and defending Champs to advance to the Conference Finals would be more than quite an achievement.

The San Jose Sharks are advancing to the Western Conference Finals for the second time in franchise history. Did anyone believe that statement to be true at any point during the regular season and even the first round? It took six, very close games to defeat the young Avalanche who returned to the playoffs after an abyssmal season last year, and only five to defeat the defending Conference Champs and perennial contending Red Wings. Exercising the demons that have previously plagued this lineup of playoff failure, they'll still need to win eight more to really prove the doubters wrong, but the fact that they've gotten over the big red hump that is Detroit has to say something.

Vancouver has put their best team together since the early '90s and it still may not be enough considering the Canadian pressure to win and the inconsistencies from game to game. In Game 1 they jumped out and shocked the Hawks at the United Center, taking the wind out of their sails. In Game 2, they employed the same tactic, getting two quick ones before giving another back by taking their foot off the gas, and allowing the Hawks to get three unanswered goals in the third. In Games 3 and 4, they allowed the Blackhawks to get to them, and completely lost their composure and any type of hold in the series going down 3 games to 1. But a collected team showed up on Mother's Day, with Luongo finally looking comfortable making saves, and yeoman effort from the rest of the Canucks. And now the series shifts back to Vancouver, where the away team has been more successful than the home team. The question is, which team will show up? The Blackhawks have been the same team every night, Toews and Kane provide the offense, Byfuglien plants his ass in the crease, Keith and Seabrook fire at will, and the rest of the agitators do what they do. The Canucks have ranged from skilled contender to whining bitches, and they've put themselves in a win-or-die position. Maybe that's the situation they do best in, coming from behind.

An All-Time Low

2010-05-10T11:50:00.000-07:00

Koharski: 'Did you see it Steph?'

Auger: 'Non, I was thinking about Alex Burrows. I can't wait to get back at him.'

Cormier: 'Don, this is what happened... His stick came up in the follow through of the shot. How did you not see it, they were right in front of you? Don? Are you listening to me?'

Koharski: 'I want sprinkles on mine.'

The officiating in the postseason this year has hit levels of stupidity that science thought man was incapable of. Normally the refs have the 'let them play' mentality happening with very little in the way of calls to keep the governing body out of the games as much as possible, and that's the way we've all grown to like it. Even most knuckle-draggers seem to pick up on the concept of cleaning up their act in their very limited ice-time so that their team doesn't suffer the wrath of the postseason powerplay. And the play flows, with few whistles, continuous action, with anger and hostility flowing towards your opponent and the more retarded members of your team when they pull some bonehead manuever. But now the zebras have stepped in to take some of that heat, like rodeo clowns grazing the view of a bull's mad dash towards his last rider.

I have never seen so many penalties called in the postseason, and we're not even through the second round yet. A record number of 'Too Many Men' bench minors handed out, and so many ticky-tack bullshit calls that waivers from rigid regular season whistles to blatant daydreaming from the guys with orange waterwings. And what makes it worse is that they're missing infractions that should be called, and go "unnoticed" or not warranted of a call.

First off, lets take this 'Too Many Men' call down a peg or two. 'Too Many' should be saved for when there are six attackers on the ice in the play, plus a goaltender. It should not be called when a team is in the middle of a line change and the opposing team fires it along the boards in front of their bench. That is bullshit. It should not be called when a player comes off the bench, realizes that there's too many on, and jumps off. This is of course within reason. If the sixth doesn't get in the play, and hasn't even gotten past the redline before he jumps off, no call. If he's halfway across the sheet, looking for a pass up ice, and being screamed at to get off, then by all means, call it. Yes, these guys are professionals but lets keep this within reason.

What's another one? The composite stick debate. To everyone who's whining about getting rid of composite sticks get over it, they're not going to go away. Considering the assets it brings to the crappiest of shots, there's no way they'll be overwhelmed by the weak durability argument, especially in the professional realm where competition is at the highest level, and every little edge counts. The only people with warrant to complain about it are the beer leaguers who are shelling out hard-earned money to buy a new stick only to have it busted by some retarded asshole who's only defensive play is to chop your hands.
But back to the playoff penalty aspect, if you slash a guy's stick and it breaks, that's a slash. It should be treated the same way a trip on a breakaway is called. If you get the puck first, its legal. Guys cross-checking the opposition only to have it fold on them holding the evidence in their hands feels as stupid as they look. Two minutes, go sit down.

It doesn't really matter, there's no winning this argument, just like you've never seen a penalty call turned over due to a player complaining about a call. Everyone hates referees because they have an impossible job, and they're never going to make everyone happy, because everyone has their own differing opinions. I have no problem with a game called with penalties if the penalties are warranted and deserved. But you have to admit the officiating this postseason has been poor at best, and definetely a little suspect. Not of conspiracy of course, but of parity.

2nd Round Predictions

2010-04-28T23:00:00.000-07:00

Who would have thought the East would take a big dump like that? Only got Pittsburgh right in that Conference but also picked the right number of games. Whoopty friggin' do. But in the West I was pretty damn good, getting all four teams right, and getting both Chicago and Vancouver in the right number of games. So 5 for 8 in picks, and 3 for 8 in games which are the toughest to pick. Not half bad, could be a hell of a lot worse. Then again I'd like to see who actually picked the 6th, 7th, and 8th seeds in the East to advance.

As for the pool, I typically picked the second highest point-getter on each team, except for Shea Weber who was a few behind leaders Legwand and Erat, Doan who was well behind Lombardi with the injury, but Drew Doughty was the top point producer for the Kings, and Stastny and Yip were tied in playoff pool points. Alfredsson was just behind Cullen, Vanek was just behind Pominville by an assist, Parise in back of Kovalchuk, and Backstrom behind Ovechkin by a goal. So all in all, not half bad, finished the first round with 111 points, thanks to both Luongo and Fleury getting through the first round (hopefully further).

Anyway, on to the Grip Picks...

Eastern Conference
#4 Pittsburgh Penguins vs. #8 Montreal Canadiens
Well I was dead wrong about the Habs picking the Caps to roll over them in 5, but I knew Halak would be the key to stealing games from Washington. I just thought it would be one game and not four. But the Pens have been here as recently as last year, and they seemed to dispense Ottawa effortlessly. I expect Halak to give them trouble, but I think the Pens will solve him to head on to the Conference Finals. Grip Pick: Pens in 6.

#6 Boston Bruins vs. #7 Philadelphia Flyers
Once again, I severely underestimated the Flyers, who appeared to be limping into a postseason against the #2 seeded Devils. The Devils were worthless, and the Flyers played strong, passioned playoff hockey. It took the postseason for them to turn into the team everyone thought they would be this season. The Sabres/Bruins matchup was the closest series to call I think, and it could have easily gone either way. I think Vanek's injury dented Buffalo's chances early on, but I don't know if he and Miller would have been able to beat the Bruins alone. The Bruins on the other hand, looked like the team from last year, playing good but not great. They got it done against the Sabres, but I think the Flyers have the fire lit right now. They've had the longest layoff, so it could start slow for them. Grip Pick: Flyers in 7.

Western Conference
#1 San Jose Sharks vs. #5 Detroit Red Wings
This will be the most overanalyzed series to date. San Jose, the playoff joke, against Detroit, the playoff machine. I wrote earlier about how the Sharks were sputtering like we've come to expect against the Avalanche, but there was a switch that flicked after that Game 5, or maybe even after Dan Boyle's OT winner for the Avs. The Olympic line underproduced, and it was the second line upstarts led by noted mouthbreather Joe Pavelski that got it done. Detroit is a team that knows how to get it done, but had a handful for about five of the seven games against inexperienced Phoenix. The Wings showed some age midway through the series, and then hit the gas like only they can in Game 7, I don't know if they have enough left in the tank. I'm going to once again step in the obvious pitfall and go with the Sharks. I think that Thornton and Marleau are going to turn it on, even though Heatley is injured, and Clowe/Pavelski/Setoguchi are going to continue rolling. I think Zetterberg is injured despite playing ridiculously well, Franzen is not 100%, and Holmstrom is just not cutting it, Mitchell and Blake are going to move his ass out of there. To rely on Datsyuk, Filppula, and the Detroit defense, not to mention a peppered Jimmy Howard, is going to be too much. Watch me eat my words. Grip Pick: Sharks in 6.

#2 Chicago Blackhawks vs. #3 Vancouver Canucks
Next to falling in the trap of the Shark, this is probably the hardest series to pick. Vancouver and Chicago are very evenly matched for this second round rematch from last year. The last one was brutal, no one expects this one to be any friendlier. Chicago had some trouble handling Trotz and his pesky Preds, but they eventually put them down. The same goes for Vancouver who had to work to get past a very young, and promising Kings team. The difference in Chicago... For the good, they have Hossa, is a proven playoff performer if not a Cup curse. For the bad, they don't have Khabby, they have Niemi who's played well but has holes, and Huet, who has holes. Their lineup is virtually unchanged, with the exception of Cam Barker swapped for an injured Kim Johnsson. The difference in Vancouver... For the good, they have a much more solid forward core, with the Sedin's having career bests, and improved second line scoring from Kesler and Burrows. The bad... Luongo's been shaky, but rebounded, and the defense is severely beaten up missing key personnel like Willie Mitchell, and even Brad Lukowich. It has felt all year that the Hawks were owed this shot at the Cup, instead of putting in the work to earn it. Maybe it was too much fun, and making it look to easy winning made it appear that way. I just think Vancouver is going to be better prepared to handle Chicago, having first hand experience playing them last year, warming up with Los Angeles, a very similar team to Chicago, and I think Luongo is moving in right direction in terms of great and awful. I expect the Vancouver offence to pick apart, and probably chase Niemi. Of course, it could just be that I picked the Canucks to go all the way at the beginning of the year, and I'm sticking to my guns. Grip Pick: Nucks in 7.

So that's it, the predictions for the second round. I feel a lot less confident with this batch than the first round, but that's normal considering the competition gets stiffer. For the pool, I've still got my goalies, Patty Kane, Johan Franzen, Patty Marleau, Zdeno Chara, Andrei Markov, and Jeff Carter's out with an injury, for who knows how long.

Round Two. Fight!

Musical Chairs

2010-04-26T11:09:00.000-07:00

Photoshop hack job, yeeeah. Do you know how hard it is to find images of players from head to toe in street clothes? Its a bitch. But I think this accurately portrays the current situation of the playoff musical chairs...

Pronger's acting like God on Earth, Crosby looks like his taking a shit with his game face on as "Gentle" Joe playfully hooks him, while Luongo looks on nervously, and those are your seated quarterfinalists. Ovie is moving as quickly as he can around the chairs to make sure he gets a seat, while Zetterberg (or Jared Leto at a movie premier) shows Bryzy the way to play the game while wearing what one can only assume was several rugs from the motherland that were sewn together to make a shirt. Crunchy, as confident as ever, strides to the next available seat, while Trotz attempts to keep Big Z from eating him. On second thought, maybe they're both trying to eat him. Big Daddy Kane makes nice with the bigger boys, while Jesus Price is getting his drink on. Trust me, he's got a drink back there. Probably a smoke in the other.

This really detracts from the real purpose of this post, of which I've now completely forgotten after screwing around with that crap.

They Did It?
The Sharks are passed the first round, and I can hear the sigh of relief from the Bay Area. There was something that happened to that team in that overtime of Game 4. Maybe it was the sight of Douglas Murray actually trying to move up ice, or maybe it was even earlier, like when Dan Boyle dumped it into his own net. Game 5 was the type of game we were expecting all series, all out dominance of the Avs. And they got their collective shit together within the 60 minutes of Game 6 to come back and win it, and get out of a series they thought would be two games shorter. Maybe it was Craig Anderson standing on his head that kept the Avalanche competitive, and running with the Sharks. But they're on to the next round, and you can wait until then to continue pulling your hair out. Grip Pick: Sharks in 5.

Philadelphia upset Jersey to everyone's surprise but in a real "eh" kind of series, maybe its because the Devils flopped in so few games. I looked around, no one picked the Flyers in this series except for the Flyer faithful. Everyone's pick at the beginning of the season to no one's pick at the end of it. Amazing. Just a question, what's worse? Losing in the closing seconds to Carolina last year, or receiving a toolshed beating by #7 seeded cross-state rival this year? Grip Pick: Devils in 5. At least I got the number of games right.

Pittsburgh defeated Ottawa to no one's surprise. At least, after Game 3. Ottawa just always seems to be a middling team, even when they went to the SC Finals, they were sent out on a rail. The Pens look strong, and on a march back to the Finals. Grip Pick: Pens in 6. That's a two-fer.

Vancouver beat out the Kings in what looked like an evenly matched series through the first four games. The Kings gave them a run for their money, but much like the Sharks, the Canuck offense didn't get going until later in the series. The Sedins' are on their usual hum, while Kesler and Burrows will hope to get it going after empty net confidence builders. Grip Pick: Canucks in 6. Bingo bango.

Forgone Conclusions?
Do you really expect Montreal to force a Game 7? I don't, but then again I didn't expect the Caps to have this much trouble putting them down either. Grip Pick: Caps in 5. Come on don't make me look like an idiot like Philadelphia did.

Boston and Buffalo is an ultimate grudge match, and I wish I had been watching more closely to fully enjoy it. I now expect it to go to seven. Grip Pick: Sabres in 6. The Eastern Conference could really make me look stupid.

Nashville, that fucking plucky underdog always seems to give grief to top seeds. They at least won a game on the road in the playoffs this season, so that's something to build off of. I expect the Hawks to end it tonight. Grip Pick: Hawks in 6.

I love the fact that it all comes down to one game for Phoenix and Detroit. Both teams should thrive in this situation making it an epic game. Like I said, I'd love to be wrong in this one, halfway there. Grip Pick: Wings in 6. Go Dogs!

Anyone With Half a Brain...

2010-04-20T16:03:00.001-07:00

Detroit may be called Hockeytown, but its fans have to be the dumbest mutts this side of the border.

Valteri Flippula's shot about halfway through the first period squeaked past Bryzgalov and, as Pierre McGuire said, "did a dirty little dance along the goal line," but it never crossed the goal line. The referee on the scene made the washout signal right away, and the Coyotes continued with the play. Once the play was blown dead, after a chorus of 'Boos' rained down from the Joe Lou seats, the play was shown on the screen above center ice. Originally, the ref wasn't even going to look at the play, he was sticking with his decision, that was until he glanced up at the replay, and the faithful red encouraged him otherwise.

He headed over to the scorers' table to confer with the replay officials upstairs, (I don't even think he looked at it), and immediately indicated a faceoff in Detroit's zone, (after the icing to end the play). The boobirds returned until they could muster up the energy to get 'Bullshit' going.

Its one thing to try to "convince" the referees into making a call, its another to prove what kind of fucking idiots pay to wear the red and white.

(Ed. note: I'll try and find a replay of it as soon as one's available.)

Seeds? What Seeds?

2010-04-16T11:36:00.000-07:00

Even Versus refuses to accept it.

What good are seedings other than to determine playoff matchups? They become meaningless once those top eight from each conference gets their invitation. #8 Colorado Avs throwing pucks on the #1 San Jose Sharks in the final minutes, #8 Habs beating on #1 ranked Ovie and the Caps, the limping #7 Flyers beating their Delaware River foes the #2 Jersey Devils.

Only three of the seven matches already played had the higher seeded team winning, Buffalo, Vancouver, and Phoenix, but that's a whole other discussion as to whether they're the under"dogs." Sorry.

The #4 against the #5 matchups are always kind of a wash, and with Phoenix winning their home opener, and Pittsburgh losing theirs, that holds true. But its the #8 against the top seed victories that are really baffling.

The Sharks are known as the Buffalo Bills of the NHL, where Joe Thornton embodies Jim Kelly, but they've never even come close to taking a shot at that field goal, let alone getting to that game. They're solid through and through, from offensive firepower to a solid defensive core, to marquee goaltending, and good coaching, yet they can't handle the postseason pressures no matter how many times Doug Wilson remakes the lineup. They had to scratch and claw to tie the Avs at one, a team that fell flat after the O-break, in the first game of the series at the Shark tank. And now they've got the same question looming, are they the genuine article when it comes to choke artists?

Take a look at the Washington Capitals, a team that probably received the most votes to be a first round sweeper. The Habs kept them knotted up at two to force OT, where noted media-elected "shit-talker" Plekanec put in the winner just a little past halfway of the extra frame. Two goals for the offensive juggernaut that is the Washington Capitals. And now the questions come raining down on Ovechkin, does he succumb to the pressure of the big game? We all know about last year's great series between the Pens and Caps, (or Crosby vs. Ovie depending on how you look at it), that led up to the eventual Game 7 stinker that Capitals submitted that night.

Granted, all this talk is premature and we're only one game into seven of the eight series, a lot can happen. But the room for doubt now has a 'No Vacancy' sign posted.

The First Night

2010-04-14T21:11:00.000-07:00

Just a few quick hits for you from the first night of the 2010 postseason...

Crosby's behind the back pass from Gretzky's office on Goligoski's goal was all sorts of awesome. He put that shit right in his wheelhouse, the least GoGo could do was put it away.

Ottawa jumped on Pittsburgh and kept applying the pressure. I don't know if they'll have that element of surprise for the rest of the series, but it showed that it'll no doubt be a battle.

Fleury was not good. Shaky at best, he'll obviously need to be better for the Pens to go anywhere.

Philly had the most surprising win of the games last night. I expected them to be spent, but they were beating the Devils at their own game. A 2-1 affair involving the Devils is usually won they win.

You cannot deny the atmosphere in Glendale, it was playoff hockey, and the people were there, and busting out of the building. Winning that game against Detroit was just icing on the cake, and a big statement that this Coyote team is legitimate, and not smoke and mirrors from shootout victories.

Phoenix power play was 3 for 4 on the night. Detroit's penalty kill prior to that, something like 92%. Holy schnikies.

Throwing the Snake was not as successful as it could/should have been. One snake on the ice after Yandle's goal was a little weak, but the linesman delivered some bad juju to the Wings by throwing it in their bench. That was almost more of a statement. But the fact that it happened at all was great, and hopefully it will pick up steam. Maybe Coyote fans were "feeling" out the security measures so to speak, and didn't want to chance an ejection.

There was two or three minutes after the Coyotes third goal, where they just had the Wings back on their heels. The crowd was chanting, and the place was just going crazy. You tellin' me these people don't know hockey?

Sharks are off to their usual clumsy start, taking a punch to the gut from a deflection off Blake's skate. The mantra "throw pucks to the net" was never more true. But they shouldn't have been in that position in the first place, the offensive firepower of San Jose should be knocking the wheels off that Colorado team. But Andy was good too, not great, he didn't even need to be great.

A buddy of mine up in NorCal tipped me off to Sharks playoff broadcasts being shown at his local sleepy town movie theatre on the big screen. The best part, its free to get in. The even better part, they serve beer and wine, and pretty good food from the restaurant next door. If the Sharks can get past the first round, I just might have to drag my ass up there to check it out. But that's a big 'if.'

And for all you married hockey fans out there, if your better half isn't as commited as you are to the game, then you've got to check out these letters about playoff hockey etiquette between man and wife posted at On Frozen Blog. Great stuff.

1st Round Predictions

2010-04-14T08:58:00.001-07:00

I've learned from the past not to pick past the 1st round just for the simple reason that if you do fuck it up, which you're more than likely to do, everything gets screwed up in terms of seeding. So we'll try the chicken shit method that all the media uses picking round at a time, but don't think I didn't layout the whole tree already.

In the interest of time, I've also included my playoff pool player selections. For those of you who don't know, the playoff pool works like this...

1) One player must be selected from each playoff team. Two goaltenders, four defensemen, and ten forwards.

2) Points work lika 'dis... Two points for a goal, one for an assist. Goaltenders get two points for a win, one additional point if its a shutout. As a bonus, you get one point per overtime period completed, win or lose.

3) Those who die with the most points wins. But also loses 'cause you're dead.

No fancy calculating systems, or online resources because I'm not motivated to set all that up. So score yourselves at home, I know you're just aching to do it considering the other 50 pools you're in.

Eastern Conference

#1 Washington Capitals vs. #8 Montreal Canadiens

I don't hold out much hope for the Habs, especially when the first posts generated at the end of the regular season sound like 'can the Canadiens beat the Caps?'. They might steal a game or two, but that'll be thanks to Halak's heroics, or Capital injuries. This could be a sweep for Washington, but I'll give the Habs the benefit of the doubt, Caps in five. I'm taking Backstrom and Markov from this duo.

#2 New Jersey Devils vs. #7 Philadelphia Flyers

The pundits picked the Flyers to take the East by storm with the additions of Pronger, Emery, et al. but it has been anything but the case. Pronger has supposedly caused a rift within the party atmosphere of the Flyers locker room, and Emery, who played well, went down with a career threatening injury. Leighton picked up as insurance, saved the bacon of the franchise, and with new coach Pete Laviolette behind the bench the Flyers were still nothing more than mediocre. The Devils, on the other hand, are their usual defensively suffocating selves with Lemaire back at the helm. Zach Parise has been given the green light to shoot, (#2 in shots behind Ovie), and is ninth in the League with 38 goals. There's also some guy named Kovalchuk they picked up in a trade who's supposed to be good. I see this as a fairly quick series, one that Philly probably should have stayed home for, Jersey in five. I'm taking Parise and Carter from these two.

#3 Buffalo Sabres vs. #6 Boston Bruins

Buffalo has ridden the amazing play of Ryan Miller, with a balanced attack under mastermind Lindy Ruff. They can score, but not a lot, they can play D, but there are a few holes. Well Miller fills most of the holes in the backend, and Vanek, when in the midst of a streak, can make it rain. Boston is hobbling into the postseason with a banged up squad, missing key playmaker Marc Savard, among other injuries. Their offense is anemic without Savard, but rookie/sophmore Tuukka Rask might be able to pull a few games out for them if the rest of the team helps him out. Buffalo in six, probably less. I'm taking Vanek and Chara out of these two.#4 Pittsburgh Penguins vs. #5 Ottawa Senators
I doubted the Senators would make it in this year, but they've proven me wrong. No one's really sure what kind of shape the Pens will be in for this year's run. It could be a severe hangover, or a relentless team on their way back to another Cup run. I have a sneaking suspicion we'll see them in some later rounds. The Senators are another hard team to get a good read on, Brian Elliot has been lights out at times this year, but he's still only Brian Elliot. Karlsson has surprised me with his strong play, and Volchenkov's healthy enough to go running over people, Pittsburgh may have more trouble than they expect. But I expect the Pens to take it in six, but it will be a hard fought series. I'm taking one of my two goaltenders in Fleury, and I'll take Alfredsson to boot.

Western Conference
#1 San Jose Sharks vs. #8 Colorado Avalanche
This is the kind of soft first round matchup that the Sharks need to get under their belt for a better than their usual march through the postseason. I am once again going to be gullible enough to fall into that trap, but I don't think anyone is expecting the Avs to take down the Sharks. Getting to the postseason is victory enough for Colorado, as a team that no one expected to sniff the playoffs. Lets see how good Andy can be, Sharks in five. I'm going with Marleau and Stastny out of this pair.
#2 Chicago Blackhawks vs. #7 Nashville Predators
No one ever gives the Predators much respect and yet year after year they find themselves in the postseason, usually overmatched. This year is no different. With suprise finish from Patrik Hornqvist, and strong play from Rinne the Preds have managed to hang in there. But with the firepower that the Hawks have from rolling lines, and good offensive support from the defense, it looks like it should be a quick series. But Nashville always guts it out, and that's why I'm going with Chicago in six. I'm taking Shea Weber and Patrick Kane here.

#3 Vancouver Canucks vs. #6 Los Angeles Kings

I am pretty surprised that so many people are picking the Kings to come out on top in this series. Maybe its the uncertainty of Luongo, or people not watching enough of the Western Conference, but this Canucks team is poised for a deep run, no matter who they face. The Kings are glad to be in the postseason, but it doesn't go much further than that. The youth on that squad will have to learn some postseason lessons in order to be battle-tested for the postseason tournament. Vancouver, on the other hand, is ready. Nucks in six. Luongo is my second goaltender, and I'll take Doughty too.

#4 Phoenix Coyotes vs. Detroit Red Wings

I want to believe that the Coyotes can do this, but I just don't think it'll happen. They'll give them a hell of a series, but considering the turnaround the Wings put together, not to mention all that talent, I think the Dogs are simply overmatched. I'd accept being wrong in this one, Wings in six. I'll take Doan and Franzen in this one.

As for my preseason record, I went 4 of 8 in the West, 6 of 8 in the East. You can look back here, but I foolishly took Calgary, Anaheim, St. Louis, Dallas, the New York Rangers, and... nevermind. Toronto alright, you fucking happy. I thought they might have a turnaround, I want to spice up the picks instead of them looking like everyone else. At least I was right about Columbus, right Rick?! You pig fucker! Where's my fuckin' Molson?!

So that's it, can't wait to get underway tonight!

Pour Some Out Fo' Ya' Dawgs

2010-04-13T16:59:00.000-07:00

This is all sorts of awesome.

You know, before we get a rip-roarin' into some playoff action, I just want to talk about the Coyotes here for a second or two. Maybe even three if I can keep you from yawning.

Make Sure that Slipper Fits
You have to admire what the 'Yotes have done this year, or at the very least tip your hat, to a group of guys that no one outside the organization had hope for. Sure, there was a pipeline of youth that had been gushing into it from years of high draft picks, but those years were met with middling mismanagement of assets, and downright piss poor coaching *cough*Gretzky*cough*. Don Maloney's had his share of miscues in the front office, but there was something major happening as the team's owner, Jerry Moyes, fell into bankruptcy and attempted an underhanded sale to a bald man with a big bag of cash. Maloney's first smart move was hiring Dave Tippett as soon as it was announced that the elephant in the room was leaving. Then Tippett took care of the rest, motivating a team that was mired in the unknown, forcing them to focus on the season at hand, and beating the odds to get home advantage in the playoffs. Maloney showed some moxy by going out and picking up players that would help in the postseason, while shipping others out to clear the roster. And now here they sit, a date with destiny against the demons from Detroit. It could be a quick exit to the battle-tested champions from Michigan, or it could be something else, something no one would expect. Like the Coyotes making the playoffs.

Falling Out of Escrow
As of now, the NHL owns the Phoenix Coyotes, or at least until a new owner can be found. Preferably one that will keep the team in Arizona. While the Ice Edge group seems to be a solid group of hockey fans/businessmen, it appears as if they are now out of contention, with the most recent vote from the City of Glendale rejecting their arena lease plan, 5-1. Glendale finds Jerry Reinsdorf to be much more attractive, so much so that they unanimously approved his plan, and have also made a series of business viability concessions. The most important of which is the City covering the losses of the team at a maximum of a $100million over seven years. But also a minimum bargain price of $103million for the team and arena, which he is guaranteed (by the City) to get back in five years if he decides to sell. Glendale City Council didn't seem to believe that Ice Edge actually had the capital to buy the team, now Jerry doesn't even need it.

Building Momentum, Building a Base
There's no question that the Coyotes success this year is the best situation the League could have hoped for in terms of strengthening the fan base, appearing more attractive to potential buyers, and determining the overall viability of the team in its present location. In a trip out to 'the Job' earlier this year, it was evident that there was a passionate fan base just like in any other hockey city. However it was lacking serious quantity of that fan, and with the instability and unknown future the franchise found itself in, it's no wonder why. At least that's the hope.

Every city has bandwagon fans once the team is doing well and has the opportunity to win, but what we're all waiting to find out is how many of them stay, and support the team night in, and night out. And more specifically next year, in a sleepy game on a Wednesday night against the Islanders. The team has been aided by the vacationing hockey fan to the Phoenix area, curious to see what a hockey culture in the desert looks and feels like. You wouldn't believe how many Manitobans who were pining for their Jets I met, or how many youth hockey teams were filling the arena in the area for local holiday tournaments. But what it needs is the greater Phoenix resident to fill its seats and support its team for the success and perseverance they've shown. I hope old traditions like the whiteout from Winnipeg, and new ones like 'Throwing the Snake' stoke that fire in the fans.

And There You Have It

2010-04-11T21:40:00.000-07:00

Is this the dance the Sedin's were doing when the Caps were heading to OT?

Winning It In Style
Henrik Sedin runs away with the Art Ross in the final game of the regular season, finishing strong with four assists for 112 points total for the League lead. Three of them came on Daniel's hat trick, who took his goal total on the year to 29, which coincidentally, matches Henrik's total. Danny's third goal was the stuff legends are made of, through the legs and over Kipper's right pad. Dirty. Hank's first assist came on defenseman Kevin Bieksa's goal in the first, which was his first goal since the first game of the season. Bieksa added another in the third to make the final score 7-3 against the Flameouts, and looked dejected that Henrik didn't get credit for that one as well.

Ante Up
The 'Rocket' Richard was up for grabs between Ovechkin, Crosby, and Stamkos who had a remarkable sophomore season lined up with St. Louis and Downie, after a crappy rookie season to start off. Ovechkin potted 49 and 50 on Friday night against the Thrashers, while Stamkos duplicated the feat on Saturday, and then went on to add the shootout winner, (which of course doesn't count in goal totals). Crosby was held off the scoresheet on Saturday in a 1-0 barn-burner loss to the Thrashers, but added his 50th and 51st early in Sunday's game against the Islanders. Ovechkin's Sunday matinee didn't help him add any markers, while Stamkos was held off the scoresheet for much of the Bolts game against the Panthers, until he added an empty netter in the closing seconds to finish at 51. Crosby supposedly "got word" on the bench, and was desperately trying to complete the hat trick, and win the Richard outright. That wouldn't be the case, and Crosby and Stamkos now have to share and kiss each other in their photo with the trophy.

Winner By Default
The eighth seed was like a U.S. Presidential election in the sense that whoever sucked less would win. Philadelphia didn't show any signs of life until Laperierre tangoed with Voros to get his team and the building into it. But even that didn't last long as the Rangers held a 1-0 lead for much of the game until Matt Carle backhanded home a juicy rebound on a power play in the third to tie it up. Poor Lunqvist didn't stand a chance, he deserves better. But of course this misery had to go to a shootout to really test the nerves of the tri-state area and Eastern Pennsyltucky. Briere showed off some dazzling stickhandling for a goal, while Christensen bricked on a shot wide in the first round. Richards looked like a goof on his attempt, maybe the biggest of his captaincy, while Parenteau mishandled and still beat Boucher. And to cap it off, Giroux completely fooled Henrik going five-hole, while Jokinen whiffed notoriously. Jokinen missing was some retribution to Flames fans, but not enough.

And They're in the Gates...
Aside from the torturous affair that was the bottom half of the Eastern Conference seedings, that allowed the Flyers to slip into seventh, the West was waiting on two games to determine all the dance partners. The Kings needed overtime to take down the Avs, who were already seeded in eighth, which gave Los Angeles 101 points and the fifth seed before the Wings vs. Hawks game was finalized. Before that game was determined, Nashville and Detroit were knotted at 100 points, with the tie breaker going to the Preds with 47 wins. But the Wings took it in OT and lurched up to fifth in the process, giving them the Coyotes in their first round matchup. The Kings shift down to sixth for a date with the Canucks, and the Preds move to seventh to battle their divisional leaders in Chicago.

Final pairings and scheduling look mighty tasty, but we'll have to wait two days to dig in. Can't wait. First round predictions to follow.

Masterton Men

2010-04-08T16:11:00.001-07:00

I usually don't give much thought to the Masterton, but we all should, considering what it represents. Given to the "player who best exemplifies the qualities of perseverance, sportsmanship, and dedication to ice hockey," as voted by the Professional Hockey Writers Association. Sadly, tragedy strikes us all unexpectedly, and we all deal with it in our own way. Sometimes it shows us the strength we have, other times it renders us helpless. Whether its dealing with death or coping with injuries, its our willingness to get through it that makes us better in the end.

Its been well documented that Patrice Bergeron's career was jeopardy after taking a hit from behind from then Philadelphia Flyers defenseman Randy Jones, back in October 2007. He was knocked unconscious, wheeled off the ice, and suffered a broken nose and grade-three concussion, which was actually very fortunate considering he could have had more severe head and neck injuries. He was sidelined for the rest of the season and returned to training camp symptom-free and raring to go. Bergeron was an unlikely pick for the Team Canada roster for the 2010 Olympics, and winner of the Gold Medal. The only knock on Bergeron's candidacy is that he's already been nominated last season, and lost out to the Predators Steve Sullivan. (Oh, and there's another knock, Mark Recchi has been nominated for the Bruins.)

One of the stories that got little press after the initial blow, was the death of Taylor Pyatt's fiancee, Carly Bragnalo, who was involved in a motor vehicle accident while on vacation in Jamaica. Pyatt, who was a member of the Vancouver Canucks at the time, was engaged to Bragnalo, and were planning to marry only a few months later. Going on indefinite leave from the team in early April 2009 at the time of the incident, Pyatt returned to the lineup about a month later to join the Canucks in a playoff run. After Vancouver was eliminated, it was revealed that Pyatt would require knee surgery in the offseason of his final contract year. Pyatt had his best years in Vancouver, but the Canucks had honestly told them that they would not seek an extension. But Don Maloney and the Coyotes still thought he had some hockey left in him, and offered him a two-year deal on the first day of free-agency. Since then, Pyatt has been part of the Major League/Cinderella story that Phoenix has come to resemble.

Just before this season started, Jose Theodore's two-month old son passed away due to respiratory complications. His three-year old daughter had the same symptoms after her birth, but was able to work through it. Just having become a Dad right around the same time, this heart-wrenching story hit me right in the gut. Losing a child has to be the most devastating feelings a human can imagine, and yet Theodore has played more than half a season's worth of games, going 30-7-7 and backstopping his team to a Presidents Trophy. I don't see how any of the other candidates listed even come close to that kind of success amidst that kind of tragedy.

Although there are a handful of other candidates worthy of the nomination, from the colitis Fernando Pisani is suffering through, to the ACL tear Brenden Morrow suffered when his team needed him the most, Jose Theodore is my Masterton winner, hands down.

Throwing Feces

2010-04-06T13:50:00.000-07:00

Quality and content have been lacking, might as well hurl shit from my thumbless mit for my own amusement.

From the Land of 'Who Gives a Shit'
Nathan Horton shows emotion at the right time, just before the start of the playoff push. Oh what's that? The Panthers didn't make the postseason for the ninth consecutive season? And Horton got in a fight with the Assistant Coach? Broke his stick then left? Fucking baby. And he was trying to disrupt the drill the coach was running. Fucking brat.

Jamie Langenbrunner's got a bug up his ass, and no one can seem to figure out why. When asked about it by the friendly media he offered up 'no comment' like he was throwing confetti. Lemaire sat him on Saturday, saying he thought he needed the rest, and has now been demoted to duty with the "continuous effort" from Rob Niedermayer, and the aging set of bones known as Brian Rolston. Before that he got into a kerfuffle with Colin White, and then took off from the locker room before the media could interrogate him about it. Silver medals taste like shit don't they Jamie?

Have you ever heard a bigger bunch of assholes talking shit? You can smell it from here. School bus stop victim Larry Brooks, came out with two gems this week, one about his boys in blue, and the other about the crumbling Flyers. The first came from the genuine article of crap, Glen Sather, stating that he had a handshake agreement with Len Barrie for a trade Steven Stamkos for a slew of young Ranger talent. Lawton and Koules put the kibosh on that one, and it was never heard from again. He then goes on to talk about how Chris Pronger has divided the locker room in Philadelphia, and is a big problem as to why the Flyers are fighting for their playoff lives when they were expected to runaway with the Cup earlier this year. Pronger stirs shit up, and water is wet. (Asshole count on that piece = 6, you count 'em up)

Zdeno Chara broke his nose last night from an errand stick from master percussionist Alex Semin. Not that the Bruins are making a big fuss about it, but they've got bigger problems than a busted schnoz on a 6'-9" defenseman. Shut the fuck up, and start playing for the first time this season. Make it look like you actually belong in the playoffs. Speaking of which...

Talk About Limping In...
The bottom half of the Eastern Conference is an embarrassment to the League. And by bottom half I mean two-thirds. Talk about teams that don't give a shit if they make it or not... Montreal, Boston, and Philadelphia are retaining their rights to be first round doormats, and Atlanta and the New York Rangers aren't giving them much of a fight for that prize. Does anybody think these teams can challenge any of the division leaders for an upset? Shit, they're already talking about what they're planning in the offseason. Philly and Boston getting ready to remove key members of the roster, and Montreal set to move Price to... wait for it, Philadelphia? Just what that locker room needs, a chain-smoking 22-year old kid to fit in with the party atmosphere in Philadelphia. The next good idea is to bring him to Chicago for a limo ride after they receive an early exit pass for poor goaltending.

And the West isn't much better, with everyone sitting at home pissing themselves with the thought of playing Detroit. Now that's what I call gearing up for the postseason, talking about who you don't want to play. Personally I think Phoenix can give Detroit the ride of its life if the Wings can make it to the five spot. Where's the pressure for the Coyotes? They've already exceeded expectations, they've got nothing to lose, go out there and beat those old fuckers! Chicago's weak in the knees from the aforementioned shoddy goaltending, San Jose is, well, San Jose, and Vancouver has just about as much pressure as Team Canada heading into Vancouver. Who better than the underdog to see through the fall of Motor City?

At the lower half of the spectrum, Colorado has had an incredible year, but missing out on the postseason would be an incredible disappointment at this point. Not that Calgary is really challenging them all that much. On the other hand, the Flames would be in sixth if they played in the East. And you might actually be interested in a first round matchup of the Sharks and Avs or Flames, as opposed to the Caps and whoever sucks. Can we just skip the first round in the East, with the exception of the 4 vs. 5 seeds?
Either way, history will be made.

Tid-Bits

2010-04-01T09:22:00.000-07:00

Anybody remember these things, Tid-Bits? I used to eat the shit out of those little cheese sticks as a kid. That was until the snacking world came out with Better Cheddars and of course Cheez-Its. Well aside from the stroll down memory lane, this is what I have for you today, Tid-Bits.

Enjoy, you self-indulgent pig.

Where to start...

Who the fuck is this guy?!

Lee Stempniak has 13 goals, 3 assists in 14 games with the Coyotes. Who the fuck is this guy?! In 62 games with the Leafs earlier this year, he had 14 goals and 16 assists. He's already up to half that point total in a little over a dozen games with the Coyotes, who came over in a deadline deal. And now he gets named 1st Star of the month, like I said, who the fuck is this guy?! His career bests came in his sophomore season with the Blues, playing a full 82 game season, and netting 27 goals, 25 assists for 52 points. Phoenix has locked up a playoff spot, and has looked strong, despite the stinker that Bryzgalov had against the Canucks. The additions of Stempniak, Wolski, and Morris have solidified the confidence in this team, and they could present a real challenge for a second round ballot. Even if its Detroit.

Its Never Too Late To Say Die

Get this... After getting their brains beat in by the Kings by a score of 6-0, Nash and Umberger get down on their knees in front of their teammates and plead with them to stop making them look so bad. Finish strong, and with purpose. Play for the fans, for the city, and for each other. The rest of the team stands up and gives an unenthusiastic clap, Commodore leans over to Clitsome and mutters, "Nasher needs to work on his timing, its a little late for this speech, isn't it?"

No doubt Commie. To their credit, the BJ's have gone 7-2-2 since then. The troops have rallied!

By the way, interim coach Claude Noel looks as out of place behind the Columbus bench as plaid hockey jerseys. He looks like he just borrowed Kurt Russell's outfit from his Miracle speech. Love those pants.

The Truth Comes Out

A Sports Illustrated survey has unearthed the fact that Dion Phaneuf, former child star of the Calgary Flames turned disgruntled, self-centered Leaf, is an overrated flop. The title of "player whose reputation exceeds their performance" was earned through receiving 21% of the vote of 272 current NHL players. To no one's surprise, when asked if it bothered him it all, he replied, "No, not one bit... it doesn't hurt my feelings any." Awww c'mon Dion, maybe just a little bit?

"I won two Stanley Cups here, and they still Boo'd me."
That's what Patrick Roy told Carey Price the last time he fell on hard times with the Canadiens faithful. Yeah Pat, you also demanded a trade out of town from the Team President in front of the head coach, during a game. Price could be doing the same after getting boo'd by the Bell Centre crowd when being announced as the third star of the game, after a 2-1 loss to the Hurricanes. That gives new meaning to the term 'French Canadian Asshole.'

If You Ain't First, You're Last
The Colorado Avalanche have gone from Northwest darling to postseason squeaker in a matter of months. Panic has set in big time after losing 5-2 to the Ducks last night. So who's to blame? Anderson is tired seems to be the most likely excuse, and it could be Joe Sacco's rookie mistake in riding a hot goaltender too hard that spells doom for Denver. Calgary has clawed its way back into the picture, after being written off earlier this month, sitting two points back from the Avs who claim the last seat in the musical chairs game. The Flames making the postseason would be a smack in the face considering their shitty efforts against the Isles and Bruins earlier this week. But the Avs schedule is not too favorable with matchups against the Sharks, Canucks, and Blackhawks, not to mention a game against the Flames tomorrow. Oh the irony.

From the Top Rope
Hilarity ensues when the Kurtenblog gets a hold of the "truth" behind the Shane O'Brien suspension from the team.

And that's all... I'll be at the Honda Center tomorrow night for Ducks vs. Nucks, attempting not to be involved in a retaliatory strike for this incident. Hopefully I'll get video.

The Hair Club for Hockey Men

2010-03-30T11:58:00.000-07:00

Men of hockey, you know that getting your hair back will make you look good and improve your self-confidence like no diet or exercise program. Its a proven fact that having a thicker, fuller head of hair makes you look and feel younger, healthier, and sexier. You can get your hair back (sort of), just by calling Hair Club for Hockey Men.

Call Now!

Hair Club offers all proven hair loss solutions, including surgical and non-surgical options, (mostly non-surgical).

"What seperates us here at the HCFHM, is that we don't have all that fancy, new fangled technology of the more reputable hair replacement companies, no, no. We use the more traditional methods of shamefully hiding your baldness with tried and true methods that for some reason, continue to exist despite their ineffectiveness." - Dr. Pepper

Take, for example, our first success story, NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman...

The infamous Commissioner Bettman choose to elect the oldest known baldness remedy known as the toupee. As a New Yorker, the Commish decided to go in the style of one of his favorite New York sports announcers, and selected the "Marv," made famous by the cross-dressing, back biting Knicks sportscaster, Marv Alberts. Look at the confidence, and shear pleasure it gives Gary just by wearing it.

Here at the HCFHM, we know that some cue balls are on a budget, and we offer cost effective solutions as well, like Jerome Russell's Spray-On-Hair!

Coming in a variety of colors and shades of humility, Anaheim Ducks forward Ryan Getzlaf chose this method to "fill-in" his growing lunar landing pad...

Can you see the differnence its made in his game and self-confidence? He's ready for a post-game celebration, ladies. Just remember to wipe up those drips Ryan!

And here we have one of our senior members of the League, veteran forward Keith Tkachuk. For Walt, we chose a different method of self-assurance to help him through his senior years, we used the "situation relocation" program. Look at how sad, and depressed he is in that shade of blue, with spotty gray hairs on his dome...

And now, in a different shade of blue, (slightly better). And we just used a simple helmet to cover up the in patient's head, and voila! A big, (fake) toothy smile!

On occasion, situations are so dire that we will need to resort to surgical procedures. In this case, we will contact our largely (un-)qualified doctor from Honduras to step in and make the appropriate adjustment. In this instance, you see hockey analyst Pierre McGuire's expression after just being told he looks like a tortoise...

A little nip here, and another there, and there you have it! "Turtle-replacement" therapy, getting this little feller back where he belongs in the wild.

Here at the HCFHM we are a non-segregating organization and will allow pretty much any ol' asshole who is somewhat involved in hockey to receive our state-of-the-art treatments, so that they can go on to live a happier, fuller life.

Take billionaire Jim Balsillie who recently received word from the League that he would no longer be eligible to own a hockey team. You can see the utter frustration, and unresolved feelings he retains in that massive forehead of his. Well don't tell this man to stop believing!

Look at that! Sometimes the cheapest methods work the best for the richest bastards. We call this method "Occam's Razor," realizing that sometimes the simplest solution is the best one. And that a razor is the only way to make someone's head that shiny.

Of course there are times when even those tried and true methods won't work, and we have to resort to what we here like to call "media perversion." The mainstream hockey media has learned that the best way to eliminate Mike Keenan's baldness (without completely eliminating him from relevancy) is to cut off his head in photos. Sorry Mike, it doesn't work for everybody.

Like we said, any ol' asshole.

Selke Selections

2010-03-24T15:14:00.000-07:00

Similar to the Vezina, there are a handful of candidates that are worthy of Selke honors this season. Its a very debatable award, considering what merits the qualification of a "forward who demonstrates the most skill in the defensive component of the game." There's the work in the faceoff circle (or not), ice time against the best lines of the competition, penalty killing, takeaways, you name it and it probably garners some attention when thinking about who to select. I'm not a big stats guy, so I rely on watching these guys night in, night out, and which is why you should hold no accountability when I'm spewing unsubstaniated opinion.

Pavel Datsyuk is the reigning award winner for two years straight and its easy to see why when looking at his game. Almost on every shift, you can see the opposition heading up ice only to have Datsyuk backchecking hard, make a quick stickcheck and head back the other way, usually to dangle some poor unsuspecting defenseman, and flip it behind the goaltender. As offensively skilled as he is, he is solid in his own end as well, working in all special team situations, averaging 20:23 time on ice per game, the most for any forward on Detroit. He's tied for the lead with teammate Zetterberg with 23 goals on the Wings, 8 of them coming on the power play, and 60 points overall on the season. He's +14, the highest +/- for Wings forwards, with a 55.7% faceoff percentage proving that he can just about do it all.

Jonathan Toews was the unsung Canadian hero of the Olympics, making several crucial defensive plays throughout the tournament, while looking like a poised veteran and yet one of the youngest members of the team. He has been heralded as a tireless worker, attempting to improve any weak areas of his game as few as they may be. He leads all Blackhawk forwards in time on ice, and is good for third on the team with 59 points (22G, 37A) with 8 power play goals. He carries a +19, and has a 57.3 faceoff percentage, tops on the Hawks and in the top ten of the entire League.

Ryan Kesler was actually a 2009 Selke nominee who lost out to Datsyuk. Known for being a relentless, agitating forward, that stirs it up from the ice and the bench, his knack for disrupting the play often produces plenty of favorable turnovers. Kesler's having a career year with 68 points, (22G, 46A) and was handsomely rewarded by the Canucks with a new six year, $30million contract extension before entering restricted free agency. He leads all Vancouver forwards in ice time with an average of 19:52 with a 55.6 faceoff percentage, but a -1 will pull his voting down.

Mikko Koivu, captain of the Minnesota Wild is one of those names that could easily be tossed into the ring. He leads the Wild in points with 66, (20G, 46A), seven goals on the power play, one shorthanded, leads all forwards in time on ice (20:29), has a 56.9 faceoff percentage, but is only a +1 on a Minnesota club going through some growing pains.

With underrated speed and great hockey sense, Patrick Marleau is a beast on the penalty kill, potting four shortys this season. Add that to his 12 power play goals, and he's the leader in goals for the Sharks with 42, his career best. Second in points on the Sharks with 80, he leads all San Jose forwards in time on ice with a 21:12 average, good for 10th in the League among forwards.

Another strong penalty killer is Jordan Staal, who is cast in the shadows of a Pittsburgh team under Crosby and Malkin. He's third on the team in points with 48 (21G, 27A) behind those two, with two shorthanded goals on the year, and is third for forwards in time on ice (19:15) with the Penguins. Staal, more than likely doesn't have a realistic shot of getting a nomination, but I have no doubt that he will one day.

The first three mentioned are who I believe will be nominated for the Selke, but there's a good chance that Kesler could be replaced with Koivu or Marleau. For a while it seemed as if it was Toews to run away with, but lately he's hit a mild slump that has had a larger impact on that Chicago team. His Olympic performance was excellent, but since then he's been struggling. Award is voted on by the Professional Hockey Writers Association, so its always subject to the popular name being bantered about, for better or worse.

Norris Nominations

2010-03-23T16:36:00.001-07:00

It appears as though its a real changing of the guard for this year's Norris contenders, out with the old and in with the new. No more perennial favorite Nick Lidstrom hogging up all the votes, and Scott Niedermayer's beard is probably going to have a lot more gray in it as those two ride into the sunset known as the Hall. And last year's winner, big Zdeno Chara, has had a small year in terms of offensive production, leaving a new crop of blueliners to claim the top defenseman of the year.

Mike Green was actually a candidate for last year's award but was unceremoniously snubbed (mainly for looking like Rick Vaughn at the awards ceremony), as Boston earned their third trophy of the night. Leading all defensemen in goals (17), assists (53), and therefore points with 70, and is second among defensemen in plus/minus with +30 behind teammate Jeff Schultz (for what its worth). Green is definetely one of the premier offensive defensemen in the League on a very offensively potent team, but his strengths in his own end have been criticized.

Duncan Keith, on the other hand, is gifted on both sides of the puck, second in points (65, 13G, 52A) behind Green, while logging time in all situations. In fact he's second in time on ice with 26:45, with 3 goals on the power play, and one shorthanded, no easy feat. He's solid positionally, and he's known for both his breakout pass, and his shutdown abilities.

Drew Doughty, the second overall draft pick in the 2008 Draft, made the Kings roster in the following season as an 18 year old. He was twice voted the OHL's top offensive defenseman in Juniors, and has continued that success in the NHL ranked third in points with 53 (14G, 39A). He has emerged as a leader from the back end on a very young, and promising Los Angeles team, but may have some time before he earns the Norris.

The Norris Trophy is voted on by the Professional Hockey Writers Association and will therefore have some bullshit tied to it. The most common inclination is that the award will be handed over to Mike Green, who already earned a nomination last year which exists as a non-spoken formality in the voting.

The better choice in my mind would be Duncan Keith who is a complete player and not a liability in his own end. The award is given to the top defenseman "who demonstrates throughout the season the greatest all-round ability in the position," not just offensive contribution.

Doughty has a long, successful career in front of him and will no doubt see many more nominations in the future, but will have to put in his time to show consistency in his game.

I'd also like to point out that both Keith and Doughty were selected to play for Team Canada at the Olympics this year by Steve Yzerman et al., while Green was left off. I think that was a smart decision on Canada's part, and I think it may go a long way in determining the winner of top defenseman of the League.

The Stuff Dreams Are Made Of

2010-03-23T14:21:00.000-07:00

Luck of the Draw

How is it that at the end of the year, there always ends up being one of those games that pits two teams who are fighting for the same playoff spot, against one another? Here we are with 10 (or 11) games left to play and we've got the underachieving Bruins with 76 points clinging to the eighth and final seed, against the underdog Thrashers with 75 points who have won their last four to give them a shot at peeking at the playoffs. That's peeking, not peaking.

In truth the B's don't deserve to even sniff the playoffs after looking like complete dogshit for most of the year, even before Savard went down with two injuries. With a lineup like their's, there's no reason they should be in this situation, and likewise they're all equally responsible. Atlanta, on the other hand, has soldiered on after dealing their franchise player, and have come together as a team rather than relying on their offensive dynamo to bail them out. Even with 10 or so games left to play, this game tonight in Blueland could very well determine who extends their season and who extends their recliner.

Remember the Good Stuff Too

One of the few members of that aforementioned Bruins team that's still got some pride in his game went to visit a 15-year old hockey player who broke his neck during a game. Patrice Bergeron, who suffered a similar fate, came with an autographed Bruins jersey and his Gold Medal to show Matt Brown who crashed head first into the boards back in January. Brown is a sophomore on his Norwood High School hockey team in the Boston area, who was transferred to an Atlanta hospital for rehabilitation after successful surgery.

The Sharks Do It Again (Sneak Preview)

Having now become the perennial playoff joke, the Sharks have found their postseason slump just before the end of the regular season for a change. They've lost their Pacific Division lead which took a two-part miracle to unfold with the surge of a nine game winning streak from the Coyotes, and a piss poor effort from the Sharks to lose five in a row. They now sit, in what appears comfortably, in fourth with 96 points, seven ahead of the fifth place Kings, with time to work things out. Now with their recent history of playoff flops and the uninspired play from this team lately its easy for everyone to stick a fork in them but I think it spells trouble. For everyone else.

The Sharks still have 10 games left to play, are in no danger of missing the playoffs, and sit only a point back of retaining the Division lead, and also the Conference. On one hand you could see them stumbling into the post in fourth and have a date with a much tougher middle of the pack team like Los Angeles or Nashville, but still avoiding Detroit and all that pressure. On the other, you could see them getting pissed off, turning the ship around, and carrying that momentum into the later rounds. Its a crap shoot, and no one knows what Sharks team will show up on what night, but like the NHL moniker says, "is this the year?"

Its Just One of Those Years

Nothing is going right for the Edmonton Oilers this season, who are now looking for someone, anyone to act as backup goaltender/door opener for tonight's game against the Canucks. Jeff Drouin-Deslaurier is going to get the start tonight, but Devan Dubnyk is out with an infectious gastrointestinal disorder, and Nikolai Khabibulin is still racing around Phoenix drinking to his good health. No one else in the farm system is available, so the Oil need someone to fill Dubnyk's 6'5" frame to use his NHL approved equipment.

Oh and some Chiropractor who treats some of the Capitals has been busted for selling steroids, and associated with the last asshole who named names in an attempt to save his ass when the hammer fell. But we'll get to that another time, the games are coming on...

Gary Bettman on Head Shots

2010-03-22T15:26:00.000-07:00

Yeah that's right, I'm phoning it in today on shitty Photoshop Monday! Hit the play button on the video below, stare into Gary's eyes, and bounce your head to this.

Dustin Slays the Mighty Goliath

2010-03-22T11:12:00.000-07:00

How does my tie look? Hey! Don't throw rocks, it'll hurt my head.

Vezina Conclusion

2010-03-16T11:54:00.000-07:00

There doesn't seem to be much to this year's Vezina candidacy, as it appears as if Ryan Miller's the runaway winner with his sharp play over the regular season, and dominance in the Olympic tournament. Yes, yes, the Olympics aren't supposed to count, but it'll be hard to remove those memorable performances from the memory of the 30 General Managers who will vote on the winner. And the controversy that entails.

First off, the Buffalo Sabres are first in the Northeast Division earning the bottom of the top three seeds in the conference berths. That doesn't happen without Miller between the pipes. He leads the League in save percentage with a .931 and trails Rask (who's started in half as many games) in goals against with a 2.16. He's ninth in the League in starts (56) and has gone 33-15-8 which puts him at seventh, with 5 shutouts posted. And this is on the Sabres, a team that, in my mind, has no earthly business being that high in the standings, let alone leading the Division. Plus he's got that Silver Medal he's been toting around to every corner of the country, and, not to mention because it doesn't count, was named MVP of the tournament with the best hockey players in the world that we dare not speak its name.

Now here's where it gets interesting...

The Florida Panthers are once again an abyssmal team with a self-admitted letter from ownership to fans that they will be re-making this team. They currently sit in 12th in the East with a record just below .500, and are all but assured missing out on the postseason once again. All this and yet Tomas Vokoun sits second in save percentage with a .930, earning 23 of the Panthers' 28 wins, and is also tied for second in the League with 7 shutouts. He's got a 2.36 goals against average which is good for ninth, but he's made 1,741 saves which puts him behind only Craig Anderson. That means he's averaging about 31 shots per game, where as the majority of the top goaltenders are facing somewhere in the 26-28 range. That's some whip cream on shit right there. He didn't have a horrible Olympic run either, not sayin', just sayin'.

Craig Anderson has been one of the partners of the turnaround success story of the Colorado Avalanche. Finally given the chance to be a #1 goaltender, he's taken the opportunity and run with it after showing signs of brillance in Florida behind Vokoun. Anderson's stats aren't as good as the other netminders mentioned here, but he's gotten some conversation even though he'll probably be the odd man out on the ballot. Anderson's started 60 games going 35-19-5 with 7 shutouts, and carries a .924 save percentage, and a 2.45 goals against. He doesn't have sparkling averages but he's a workhorse and he's added stability to a young team who's on their way to returning to the postseason.

Ilya Bryzgalov's part of the 'Cinderella' story out in Phoenix, that's helped Dave Tippett's chances for a Jack Adams. Another guy who finally got his #1 status, after struggling mightily at first, he's rebounded this season, and has helped to put the Coyotes in playoff position. With 59 starts under his belt, he's gone 36-18-4, leads the League with 8 shutouts, while posting a .921 save percentage, and a 2.27 goals against. Not bad numbers for a team that no one wants. Russia may have faired a little better if they had elected to go with Bryzy as opposed to Nabokov, but that's neither here nor there.

I expect the ballot to have the names of Bryzgalov, Vokoun, and Miller on it, but there's plenty of names that could be thrown about, like Luongo after his gold medal tournament and surging Canuck team, Nabokov with his perennial placed Sharks at the top of the West. But in the end, I think its Miller's already.

Overmatched

2010-03-15T14:13:00.000-07:00

Vancouver 3 vs. Calgary 1

And it wasn't even that close. In a game that the Flames needed to win to prove that they are a legitimate playoff team, they fell flat.

The first period looked as if they were still waking up from their pre-game nap, as the Canucks charged hard to the net, and put in three behind a heroic Kiprusoff. They came out harder in the second, challenging the Vancouver rush and stomping out before it could gain enough speed, but they couldn't mount any kind of sustained attack. In the third, at least halfway through the third, they just played pissed off, and that was the best they played the whole game.

The Canucks had just returned from their road trip from hell, and played their first home game since in a 5-1 beating of the Senators the night before. That reason alone should have given the Flames enough of an edge to tackle the Nucks. It wasn't. Vancouver came out the fresher squad, coming right at the Calgary defense with speed, and confusing them to the point of looking really stupid.

The Flames sit a point back from the Red Wings in the eighth and final seed. They'll face them tonight at the Saddledome, and I'm sure they'll be coming out harder than they did last night.

Just a couple notes and thoughts from the game last night...

Mark Giordano does it all. He hits, he makes a good first pass out of the zone, he sticks up for teammates, he makes that timely rush, but most importantly he can sense the game. He can sense when the game needs a big hit, or when the defense is sitting back he can skate in and take it to the net. He's pretty humble about his game right now, I wonder if he will still be after he gets a new contract in 2011.
Speaking of Giordano, when Kesler came in on him one-on-one, he knew the only way to try and beat Gio was to attack him with speed and give him less time to think, and still it didn't work.
How many times do you think Sutter used the word "amateur" when talking about the Flames and "pussies" when referring to the Canucks after that 1st period?
There's been plently of opinions on this one... After the Canucks had scored their third goal, there was still a flurry of chances on Kiprusoff and he bailed their ass out without any help from the defense. There was a point where it looked like he basically said 'Fuck this' after he finally got a whistle. He was definetely pissed, but I think he told Brent at the intermission, 'Fuck it. I'm done, these guys aren't giving me any fucking help out there' and took himself out. Others have seen it as Brent saying the same thing to the rest of the team, and pulling Miikka out of mercy. I think if that was the case he would have done it sooner. Maybe he didn't, so it didn't look like he was pulling him because it was Kipper's fault.
John Shannon from the Rogers SportsNet Calgary broadcast made a good point about how Sutter wouldn't have been able to do that two weeks ago. McElhinney would have no doubt made that look a lot worse than it already was. By the way, everything else Shannon said was bullshit, ranting again about how Iginla was tired from doing all those commercials for the Olympics.
I've always wondered about Luongo's durability since he seems to flinch or flop anytime anyone comes near him. I wonder if Vancouver will regret that 12-year deal if he starts coming up DiPietro as his age starts to climb.
Mason Raymond had a breakaway in the second going down on Toskala, I think the only reason he stopped that shot was because he didn't react fast enough. As stupid as that sounds.
Do they not show replays of offsides calls because it would show that linesmen get it wrong half the time? I've ranted about this before, but I liken it to a replay being shown for a close call at a base in baseball. Sorry for the baseball reference, but I think it needs to be shown.
Ian White had a golden opportunity to rush the net after the Flames won a faceoff outside the offensive zone, and elected to make a bad pass instead. He seemed like he was holding back that whole game, and thinking in a defense first mentality when the Flames desperately needed offense. Is that Brent's doing?
I love how White took #3 and its like Phaneuf was never there. And I also love Gio and White being paired together on the power play, and I don't care how many times I say it.
Not until the Flames started playing pissed off did they get back into the game, as I mentioned before. Perfect example: Iginla rams Raymond into the boards in the defensive zone on a Calgary powerplay, he grabs the puck and heads back the other way, I forget if he shot it or what, but he lost the puck comes around the net and smashes Kesler. Then he takes this long look back at the referee with a look like 'I don't give a shit if you call that or not, but you better not fucking call that.'

I'm really pulling for the Flambes to get in but this shows a not so good outlook, I'm not ready to write them off yet, but they'll once again, NEED to win tonight against the team they're challenging for the last spot, and keep that up for the following 13 games to get in.

Jack and Coach

2010-03-12T09:46:00.000-08:00

The candidates for this year's Jack Adams seem to be pretty cut and dry with the usual cast of characters coming from teams that everyone expected much less out of. Hence the reason for the award, the coach "adjudged to have contributed the most to his team's success." Getting more out of less, shouldn't it then be called the Barry Trotz? (The structural instability of putting a Barry Trotz replica or even a photo was deemed unsafe due to the high loadbearing weight at the top of the trophy.) And sadly that man's name doesn't appear anywhere on the trophy.

And it doesn't look to have a chance this year, as I'd probably put him fourth behind Dave Tippett, Joe Sacco, and Cory Clouston. Nashville's just not flashy enough to get the votes, I guess.

I, for one, did not expect Ottawa to have the success and competitiveness that they've shown this year. With the Heatley dilemma and the low return Bryan Murray got when the trade finally came to pass, not to mention the lack of a bonafide #1 goaltender with Leclaire's issues, it just didn't seem like Ottawa would be in the hunt, let alone be challenging for the Northeast Division lead. But Cory Clouston has done it, now with the elephant out of the room he's got command of it, and the Senators have listened, getting balanced scoring, and a buy-in to his attacking offensive strategy. But I've still got to rank Mr. Clouston third behind the two "feel good" stories.

The first of which being Joe Sacco and the Colorado Avalanche. Sacco was also involved in somewhat of an awkward situation when Patrick Roy was originally offered the head coaching job before the then current coach, Tony Granato had even been fired. Roy passed on the offer, Granato still got the axe, and Sacco was named head coach the following day. Promoted from the AHL farm team, the Lake Erie Monsters, he was credited for his work in grooming the younger players into NHL-caliber which fit perfectly with the youth that was filling the Colorado lineup. He's inspired that group to challenge for the Northwest Division lead when almost all experts picked Colorado to finish in the bottom of the standings. With the changing of the guard taking place on the Avs from veteran to youth, Sacco has made that transition appear seamless.

Dave Tippett was unceremoniously dumped and used as one of a few scapegoats for Dallas' miserable injury-plagued season of 2008-09. But Phoenix couldn't hire him as the new coach until Gretzky officially stepped down. Once that occurred on September 24th of last year, halfway through the preseason and nearing the start of the regular season, Tippett was officially hired just a few hours later. The situation in Phoenix was a constant distraction in the years prior with court precedings, low attendance, and the constant bashing by Canadian media to bring the team back north. Now that the League has officially taken over the team, the grumblings have quieted, but in some cases still remain. And that has allowed Tippett to guide this group into the postseason with a 40-22-5 record. There's no chance of challenging for the Division lead with a 10 point cushion for San Jose, but they all but have a playoff berth locked up for the first time since the 2001-02 season. This playoff appearance might be the evidence that the greater Phoenix area needs to prove to the rest of the League that the Coyotes belong there. On the other hand, it could prove the exact opposite if the City does not get behind the team in a playoff run.

In any case, it is a huge victory for the franchise thanks to the patience of Don Maloney, and the leadership of Dave Tippett, this year's 'Cinderella' story and my pick for the Jack Adams.

Calder Race

2010-03-11T10:38:00.000-08:00

I wanted to get this out before the trophy talk started to hit the airwaves but that's obviously too late.

Rookie of the Year honors seemed to have a runaway favorite in the first part of the year with the Buffalo Sabres 6'8" defenseman Tyler Myers. As of now, Myers has 9 goals, and 27 assists for a 36 point total, and averages 23:40 in ice time leading all rookie defensemen in those totals. Despite his hulking 222lbs. frame, he's shown a lot of patience on the blueline for the Sabres, and looks to have the right tools for a long productive career in the League. But right around midseason, his pace started to slow down as the Sabres hit a bit of a rough patch leading up to the Olympics. With a four point (1G, 3A) night against Dallas last night, he's re-affirmed his position within the race.

Matt Duchesne has slowly but surely been building his reputation even before he was drafted 3rd overall in 2009, threatening to go first in some scouting reports with his well-rounded game, and great attitude. He's helped to prove the doubters wrong with a fresh, youthful group out of Colorado to challenge for the Division when most experts picked the Avs to finish in the bottom of the Conference. Now he leads all rookies in goals (23), assists (24), points (47), and shooting percentage (16.7%), after a slow start to the season.

Jimmy Howard's name has recently been added to the list of prospective Calder candidates, which would make back-to-back goalie Calder winners following Columbus netminder Steve Mason. Playing in 48 of Detroit's 66 games up-to-date, going 24-15-8 in the process with a .923 save percentage, and a 2.38 goals against average. He leads all rookie goaltenders in games played and wins, but trails Tuukka Rask in save percentage and goals against. But Detroit is battling for their playoff lives, and given how important goaltending is in this game, they will need Howard to be strong in the stretch run. But much like Mason's campaign, making the postseason will make or break Howard's chances.

Now what's interesting about this race is that it only includes one of the top three picks of this past year's draft. Duchesne who, as I mentioned earlier, was a viable threat to go first overall, is the only one of the three below who is a legitimate challenger for Calder honors.

Victor Hedman, who went second to Tampa, was the big, Swedish defenseman who had already spent time in Elitserien playing against men and was fending pretty well for himself. He is fourth in points among defensemen with 18 (4G, 14A), and is averaging the second most time on ice per game with 21:34 behind Myers, but his impact on the Lightning blueline has had much less significant than everyone expected, and certainly less than Myers in Buffalo. One would expect that his experience in the Swedish Elite League with former, and potential NHLers would have prepared him better for the NHL game.

John Tavares, carried with him the buzz that the Islanders needed to generate excitement in their fans, which is why he was selected first overall. Tavares is second in points with 36 (18G, 18A), a total many expected to be much higher, but considering the anemic offense of the Isles (-38 goal differential) it is not all that surprising. Critics at this point are willing to give him the benefit of the doubt and give him a bye this season, predicting a much more productive sophomore season after acclimating to the NHL game. Similar to what we saw this season with Steven Stamkos who had a miserable first season riddled with pressure from shoddy ownership, who has rebounded with a 40 goal campaign, and climbing.

But despite all the excitement, Duchesne has proven that he is a more complete player in every aspect, offensive, defensively, on the ice, and off it, making charitable appearances and donations to his hometown and Denver communities. He is a franchise player for all the right reasons, not for high point totals or highlight reel goals, but because he does it all by bringing the intangibles of leadership and a strong set of values.

Matt Duchesne is my choice for this season's Rookie of the Year.

The Road Out of Vancouver

2010-03-11T08:57:00.000-08:00

The longest road trip in NHL history has come to an end. Fourteen games in total and a shit ton of miles, kilometers, paces later and the Canucks have gone 8-5-1 earning 17 of a possible 28 points and taken outright control of the Northwest Division lead.

I think you could call that a mild success.

The Canucks were required to get out of town and hand over their diggs to the Vancouver Olympic Committee at midnight on January 27th, just a couple hours after they defeated the St. Louis Blues. With eight games before the break, and another six afterwards they left Vancouver for technically six and a half weeks, before they return this weekend for a back-to-back against Ottawa and Calgary. Speaking of back-to-backs, they had three on this epic road trip, (one before the break, and two after) in the compressed NHL schedule.

Let's take a look at how they did...

Pre-Olympic Swing
Jan. 30 at Toronto - WIN - Came back from a 3-0 deficit from the 1st period, to a 5-3 win featuring the Sedin show with four goal outburst in the 3rd. This of course before the newly revamped Maple Leaf lineup had reared its ugly head.

Feb. 2 at Montreal - LOSS - Lost a 3-2 game singlehandedly from the heroics of Jaroslav Halak in net for the Habs. Kesler scored with just a little over 5 minutes left to go in the third to make it a one goal game and keep it interesting.

Feb. 4 at Ottawa - LOSS - Luongo took the night off, while the Senators marched on to a 3-1 win, in what would be their last of an 11 game streak. Raycroft played admirably in relief against a hot Ottawa team in his first start in two months, but sadly hit the 100th career loss milestone.

Feb. 6 at Boston - WIN - Overcame a 2 goal deficit from the 1st period to win in a shootout. Mason Raymond had a nifty goal, and Pavol Demitra tied it with less than 5 minutes to go and then added the only goal in the shootout for the win.

Feb. 9 at Tampa Bay - LOSS - Marty St. Louis staged his protest of his Olympic snub by throwing together a three point night against the team from the host city. Two goals in the third, and a helper on Stamkos's goal in the first propelled the Lightning to a 3-1 win against the Canucks.

Feb. 11 at Florida - WIN - Roberto Luongo pitches his 4th shutout of the season with the Panthers hitting 6 posts throughout the game. The Canucks scored at even strength and short-handed in the second, and then added a power play goal in the third for a 3-0 victory over the Panthers.

Feb. 12 at Columbus - WIN - Andrew Raycroft gets his 1st win on the roadtrip in his second start, as the 'Nucks rally back to beat Jackets with a two goal third period. Mikael Samuelsson with the lob for the game winner in a 4-3 win.

Feb. 14 at Minnesota - LOSS - In the last day of NHL hockey before the Olympic break, the Wild took it to the Canucks in a 6-2 loss, an outright schalacking in the final game of the pre-Olympic swing. Canucks managed to finally net two in the third to keep it respectable. Speaking of respect, the Wild announced the Olympic members of both teams in a classy move that earned applause for all competitors.

Post-Olympic Trek
March 2 at Columbus - WIN - Defensive lapses in the first gave the Jackets a two goal lead from Columbus bullying their way to the front of the net in on Raycroft. The Nucks responded in the second tying it up at two with some big saves from Raycroft, despite going down a goal later in the period. But Wellwood tied it up at three with just over five minutes to go to force it to overtime, where Ehrhoff would net the eventual winner on a rebound for a 4-3 win.

March 3 at Detroit - WIN - In Luongo's first game in net since the Olympic break, the Canucks took a definitive lead in the second after a breakaway goal by Kyle Wellwood, which would be followed by two more for a three goal middle frame chasing Jimmy Howard in the process. Ryan Kesler with a two goal effort opening up the scoring in the first, and adding a power play goal in the third for a 6-3 win over the Wings.

March 5 at Chicago - LOSS - After handing out a 6-3 beating, they take one from what has now become one of their fiercest competitors after last year's second round series with Chicago. The Hawks had 5 goals on 14 shots in the first period to chase Luongo, and sit back on the comfortable lead from then on.

March 7 at Nashville - WIN - Down 2-1 going into the third, they needed a ten minute warm-up before they opened up the scoring and pot three goals to take a 4-2 win. Samuelsson ripped a shot past Rinne on the wing, Hansen got a rebound on his breakaway chance, and Henrik added an empty-netter.

March 9 at Colorado - WIN - Giving up a three goal first period, Samuelsson charged back with a hat trick in the second to get Vancouver back into it, and cut the lead to one going into third. They followed it up with a power play goal from Burrows in the third to tie it, followed by a lucky bounce off Hansen to take the lead. Henrik with the empty-netter to take a come from behind 6-4 win and maintain outright control of the division lead.

March 10 at Phoenix - SO LOSS - In a very close, evenly matched game, the final date on the roadtrip came down to a skills competition that required 12 shooters. Andrew Raycroft played well in his fourth game on the trip, making an incredible no-look save with the paddle in the first period. A goal for each team, each period led to a missed Mason Raymond shootout attempt for the Coyote win.

Six come from behind victories to lead the League with 10 on the season, on a road trip that provided red hot Mikael Samuelsson with his first career hat trick, gave silver-medalist Ryan Kesler his first video game cover, and undrafted Alex Burrows his 30th goal on the year. Pretty impressive for a team that had seven of their players honoring their countries in the Olympic Winter Games.

Everyone knew this trip would define their season, especially this late in the year, but I don't know if anyone expected this kind of success. While its not a remarkable record in that stretch, its remarkable that it was done on a roadtrip like this, where so many intangibles were achieved, and that's confidence heading into the stretch and onto the postseason.

Burke's Blueprint

2010-03-10T16:57:00.001-08:00

Brian Burke is not a subtle guy, he's blunt and he tells you exactly what he thinks about what you just asked, what's on his mind, and whether you suck or not. We all knew that, and it wouldn't be any kind of surprise if, when he got hired as Toronto's new General Manager, that he'd be re-making the team the way he saw fit. Shit, we were thinking that he was already involved in the inner-workings of the organization before he even left Anaheim when Ron Wilson was hired as head coach, and trades were made by interim GM Cliff Fletcher. But did anyone expect this much turnover to happen in that plan, or at the very least, in that time?

Burke took over control of the Leafs on November 29th, 2008, since then he has removed...
Robbie Earl, F - Traded to Minnesota for Hamilton, 1/21/09
Nik Antropov, F - Traded to New York Rangers for 2nd in 2009, 3/4/09

Dominic Moore, F - Traded to Buffalo for 2nd in 2009, 3/4/09

Richard Petiot, D - Traded to Tampa for Kolzig/Heward/Rogers, 3/4/09
Pavel Kubina, D - Traded to Atlanta for Exelby/Stuart, 7/1/09
Tim Stapleton, F - Traded to Atlanta for Exelby/Stuart, 7/1/09
Justin Pogge, G - Traded to Anaheim for 2011 Conditional Pick, 8/10/09
Jiri Tlusty, F - Traded to Carolina for Paradis, 12/3/09
Vesa Toskala, G - Traded to Anaheim as part of Giguere deal, 1/31/10

Jason Blake, F - Traded to Anaheim as part of Giguere deal, 1/31/10

Jamal Mayers, F - Traded to Calgary as part of Phaneuf deal, 1/31/10

Matt Stajan, F - Traded to Calgary as part of Phaneuf deal, 1/31/10

Ian White, D - Traded to Calgary as part of Phaneuf deal, 1/31/10

Niklas Hagman, F - Traded to Calgary as part of Phaneuf deal, 1/31/10
Alexei Ponikarovsky, F - Traded to Pittsburgh for Caputi/Skoula, 3/2/10

Lee Stempniak, F - Traded to Phoenix for Jones, 5th &7th in 2010, 3/3/10

Joey MacDonald, G - Traded to Anaheim for 7th in 2011, 3/3/10

And since then he has added...

Brad May, F - Trade from Anaheim for 6th 2010, 1/7/09 - Left via FA

Ryan Hamilton, F - Trade from Minnesota for Earl, 1/21/09
Martin Gerber, G - Waivers from Ottawa, 3/4/09 - Left via FA

Erik Reitz, D - Waivers from New York Rangers, 3/4/09 - Left via FA
Garnet Exelby, D - Trade from Atlanta for Kubina/Stapleton, 7/1/09

Mike Komisarek, D - Free Agent Signing, $22.5mil/5yrs., 7/1/09

Colton Orr, F - Free Agent Signing, $4mil/4yrs, 7/1/09
Francois Beauchemin, D - Free Agent Signing, $11.4mil/3yrs., 7/6/09

Jonas Gustavsson, G - Free Agent Signing via Elitserien, $2.5mil/1yr., 7/7/09
Rickard Wallin, F - Free Agent Signing, $800k/1yr., 7/10/09
Wayne Primeau, F - Trade from Calgary for Stralman/Stuart, 7/27/09
Phil Kessel, F - Trade from Boston for 1st & 2nd in 2010, 1st in 2011, 9/18/09
Phillipe Paradis, F - Trade from Carolina for Tlusty, 12/3/09

Dion Phaneuf, D - Trade from Calgary for Hagman/Stajan/White, 1/31/10

Jean-Sebastien Giguere, G - Trade from Anaheim for Blake/Toskala, 1/31/10

Fredrik Sjostrom, F - Trade from Calgary for Hagman/Stajan/White, 1/31/10

Keith Aulie, D - Trade from Calgary for Hagman/Stajan/White, 1/31/10
Jamie Lundmark, F - Waivers from Calgary, 2/13/10

Luca Caputi, F - Trade from Pittsburgh for Ponikarovsky, 3/2/10

Matt Jones, D - Trade from Phoenix for Stempniak, 3/3/10

Chris Peluso, D - Trade from Pittsburgh for 6th in 2010, 3/3/10

And those are just the bigger hits, not even really looking at the up and down work he's done with the Marlies, or players he's flipped. That's 17 guys sent out, 21 brought in, and a few of those have since left, all that in less than a year and a half.

BB always says he works from the goal out, so the first thing he did was steal Francois Allaire as Goaltending Coach from Anaheim. Allaire was one of the first ever goaltending coaches around the League, and has since revolutionized the position with his teaching methods. Burke then went out and grabbed Gustavsson from the Swedish Elite League as a free agent, dealt underachieving Toskala for Stanley Cup winning Giguere just before the Olympic break to solidify the posts.

As for defense, he traded for Garnet Exelby from Atlanta dealing Kubina in the process, signed American defenseman Mike Komisarek and the underrated Francois Beauchemin in free agency, and just recently added Dion Phaneuf from Calgary via trade. Not to mention the skilled Tomas Kaberle, overpaid Jeff Finger, and the young Luke Schenn that were already in the stable. There's a pretty solid defensive core there, despite what you might think of each of those individual players.

The offense is still a work in progress with the most notable acquisition being Phil Kessel for the best draft picks of the next two years. But if you want a dramatic overhaul to turnaround a team, you're going to do things that build your team better now, not in a few years when picks mature into NHL ready players. Players like Bozak, Stalman, Kulemin, and Kadri that are just coming of age into hockey maturity, are complemented with slightly more seasoned NHL players like Sjostrom, Grabovski, and Wallin, and no doubt more through trades and free agent signings in the offseason.

I will admit that I foolishly picked the Leafs to make the postseason this year, maybe I was giving Burke too much credit in too little time. But if I make the same assumption next year, I might not be as foolish.

Then again I could look like a fucking idiot.

That's Chocolate

2010-03-10T14:11:00.000-08:00

Seeing as I'd like to do anything but discuss the Cooke hit on Savard, (as the hockey world will re-hash, ohhh, for the next 30 days I would assume) why not talk about the other big news. The NHL's partnership with Hershey Canada, and their assemblage of a solid chocolate mock up of the Stanley Cup that weighs approximately 150lbs.

First off, I'm not sure why this is such big news. I mean the chocolate Stanley Cup is cool, but we're not talking news as big as Willy Wonka opening up the doors to his factory. But I guess any big partner with the NHL is a good thing. Arenas around the League have no doubt been hawking their multitude of products for years.

And when I say multitude of products, I do mean multitude... 5th Ave, Almond Joy, Mounds, all those Cadbury Eggs, Bar None, Heath Bar, Oh Henry!, Kit Kat, Milk Duds, Mr. Goodbar, all the Reese's products, Rolo, York Peppermint Pattie, Skor, Payday, Zagnut, Bubble Yum, Ice Breakers, Jolly Ranchers, Whoppers, Whatchamacallit, Good & Plenty, Krackel, Twizzlers, and not to mention all those Hershey products of kisses, and miniatures. Just to name a few.

So I started thinking about all the hockey themed Hershey products you could make with chocolate...

Chocolate Pucks seem too easy, but whenever I think of chocolate pucks I think of Hostess Ding Dongs with creme filled centers. Maybe do it with caramel centers like a big ass Rolo. Or do a York Peppermint Puck for those with discerning taste.

A chocolate stick seems to make a lot of sense. Maybe Hershey could come out with a similar product to Wrigley's Hubba Bubba Bubble Tape that you could actually tape your stick with. That would be pretty bad ass. Or sickening, depending on how you look at it.

Or use some of the other Hershey products, Twizzler strawberry hockey laces. Market Good & Plently like Chiclet's and call them Hockey Player teeth or some shit like that.

What if Hershey got involved with the other concessions offered at NHL arenas? Can you say chocolate covered hot pretzels? Chocolate covered popcorn, or gourmet popcorn as they like to call it, is all the rage now.

And tell me you're not going to see Hershey Kiss Cams all over now. Or marketing the League with Ice Breakers, that's not an obvious fit?

There's plenty of opportunity if you just look for it.

By the way...

(Ed. Note: And this too. Prepare for stomach turn.)

Statement Games

2010-03-10T10:10:00.000-08:00

You could look back at almost every game last night and see the implications for each team in their quest to extend the season. Their wins or losses all made statements as to the season behind them, and their chances in front of them. The standings as they sit now are very different from what we would normally expect, and certainly from what we predicted at the beginning of the season. Of course, that's more so from the West than the East, with teams like Phoenix, Los Angeles, and Colorado in the mix, and teams like Detroit and Calgary fighting for their postseason lives. But last night's results spoke loudly as to who's in it and how bad they want it.

Vancouver 6 Colorado 4
The Canucks are on the tail-end of an epic 14-game road trip that required the team to get out of town for the Olympic setup and cleanup. They've got one game left to play against Phoenix and have gone 8-5 with 6 come from behind victories on that stretch that gives them the League lead with 10. This game meant even more, giving them a four point lead on the Avs in the Division. Everyone knew that this road trip would determine their season, but they've only climbed in the standings because of it. Right now, this team looks poised to make a deep run in the playoffs.

On the other side of the coin, no one expected the Avalanche to have the kind of season they are having, but with the infusion of youthful speed, a now proven #1 goaltender, and solid direction from rookie head coach Joe Sacco, they sit sixth in the Conference and are almost assured a playoff spot. But games like last night show that they have a lot to learn, letting off on the gas with a 3-0 lead in the first frame.

Calgary 4 Detroit 2
The Flames have struggled mightily after passing the halfway mark, and Darryl has tried his best to really shake up the team with questionable trades. They are starting to show a little more life with this new look, winning four of their last five with wins over Jersey and Detroit, their 8th seed competitor. Their schedule to April is none too kind, with 11 of 16 games against playoff-caliber opponents. Their playoffs start now.

Detroit has nearly the same story, with their down year coming from the injury plague. The Wings are a dangerous team year in and year out, and if they can get in they'll play that scary 7 or 8 card that knocks out the top seeds in the first round (*cough*Sharks*cough*). But I'm not convinced that they can do it, even with a number of their better personnel returning to the lineup and Jimmy Howard's improved play, they look like a team disinterested.

Toronto 4 Boston 3 OT
This game says more about the Bruins dropping like a rock than it does about the Leafs slowly improving. In all honesty, the B's had their best chance last season, and fell apart in the playoffs, and then in the offseason losing key contributors on their team that were viewed as spare parts. In terms of production, everyone on that team is down, Chara's scored something like 4 or 5 goals compared to last year's 19 or 20 total, Savard's been in and out of the lineup with injuries, and Kessel took off for Toronto. Savard now looks to be down for the count with that concussion, and the Bruins just don't have enough offense already, to carry on without him. Thomas hasn't looked all that great either, just to make matters worse.

Nashville 2 Atlanta 1
Clinging to the seventh spot, the Predators are pulling out wins despite the fact that they should be handling teams like the Thrashers rather easily. Always playoff contenders but never a Cup threat, the Preds are right about where they normally are. No-neck Trotz is a magician at producing a lot from a little, but one day when there's financial backing behind this team, they'll realize that they'll need to spend some money to get some key personnel to push them over the edge.

Atlanta is still technically in it, four points behind Boston in the eighth spot, but losing the last four does not bode well for your cause. Don't get me wrong, I'd love to see that team in it, that team needs something to be proud of, and to do it without Kovalchuk would be monumental, but they just can't seem to get it done. Just a team in what seems like perpetual re-building.

Philadelphia 3 New York Isles 2
Philly came from behind to win this one, against a team they should have easily beaten, especially given the prospect at the beginning of this season that they should be Cup contenders. Coaching changes and freak injuries aside, games like this show that while Philly got themselves back into the race, they're still a ways away from being a legitimate threat. Of course, anything can happen in the postseason, but goaltending and fortitude will be the concerns for this team heading into the extra season.

I believe that this loss puts the Islanders out of the race, mathematically.

Montreal 5 Tampa Bay 3
The Habs have won their last three and look to make the lower seedings. Technically, they could get knocked out with a dramatic fall from grace, but they've played well on their road swing West taking 2 of 3, and the pressure from the bottom doesn't seem to be strong.

Cue the pressure from the bottom. The Lightning are 5 points out at the moment, but with the resurgence of Marty St. Louis teamed up with 40goal Stamkos, and Steve Downie of all people, the post is possible, but highly unlikely. Lecavalier has been half the player he is this year, and I wonder if we'll hear about a season-ending surgery when their officially out of it.

Ottawa 4 Edmonton 1
The Senators could have beat up on the Oil a lot more last night, but held off instead. Ottawa is tied for the Northeast Division lead with Buffalo at 79 points. I've never given them much credit this season and they've proven me wrong. They'll definetely make the post but will be battling it out for the top seed of the Division. They'll need that killer instinct in the playoffs to get beyond the early rounds.

What can you say about Edmonton aside from a team that is looking forward to the draft. They look absolutely lost out there, chasing after opponents in their own zone, and not producing any kind of offensive attack. Its pretty embarassing, and teams are feeling sorry for them as this score shows.

Columbus 5 Anaheim 2
I think this is pretty much the nail in the coffin for the Ducks playoff chances. They're seven points back from the eighth seed, and they badly to a team having a miserable season. There's no reason the Ducks should be out of it with a big handful of Olympians on the team, despite the fact that their defense has been depleted. Without Hiller's performance in the Olympics people would be questioning Bob Murray's decision to send Giguere to Toronto for essentially Blake.

Sophomore slump doesn't describe Steve (not Chris) Mason's fall from Calder honors last year. Hitchcock was tossed after his philosophy got tired on the bench and the team just gave up. Its a shame that this team couldn't build on last year's postseason appearance, but at least they can add some future talent at the draft.

Skipped Florida's 3-2 shootout win over Minnesota for the futility of it all.

Playoff Seeds
In the East, I think the spots are pretty much set with the exception being the eighth and final spot. Boston should make the playoffs but they're in such a funk right now its easy to see the Rangers or Thrashers or even the Lightning slipping in past them. Gaborik is out for the Rangers virtually eliminating their offense which dramatically affects their chances. I'll bet that Boston stays in, but it could go either way.

One through eight goes like this...

1. Washington

2. Pittsburgh

3. Ottawa

4. New Jersey

5. Buffalo

6. Philadelphia

7. Montreal

8. Boston

In the West, I think Dallas is already out of it and it really comes down to Nashville, Calgary, and Detroit. All logic would say that the Predators and Wings get in, but I think the Flames will gut it out and join the Preds at the dance. Probably more hope, than think, but...

The Western eight fall like this...

1. San Jose

2. Chicago

3. Vancouver

4. Los Angeles

5. Phoenix

6. Colorado

7. Nashville

8. Calgary

The Dawning of the Age of Aquarius

2010-03-08T14:36:00.000-08:00

Continuing with our t-shirt series we give you 'Blazing Happiness' featuring the famously frowning Sutter Brothers...

Not since the Smothers Brothers has anything the Sutters' done been this funny, aside from all those silly trades Daz made, which prompted us to create this style...

I think it will be a popular seller, of course we can put any head you like on there. Yes that's right, any head, any slogan, any color, any size, any day, any time, anything.

Discontinued.

Still Crying, Flooding Over Riverbanks

2010-03-08T12:33:00.000-08:00

Following along with my previous post on Bob McKenzie's 'Cry me a river' quote about owner's whining about Phoenix's trade activity...

Normally I like Elliotte Friedman's 30 thoughts on the game on cbc.ca, but I found some comments a little misplaced this week, and I wasn't the only one.

In his fifth "thought"...

"If the Phoenix Coyotes make the playoffs, I’m very, very curious to see what the ninth-place owner in the West has to say. They deserve to get in, and if the team was actually run by a person and not the NHL, we’d all be saying, “There’s an owner who’s really committed.” But everyone else is paying the bills, and is causing hard feelings among the other contenders."

Uhhh, I'd like to call bullshit.

If any owner is delusional enough to think that Phoenix's trade activity at the deadline keeps the Coyotes in the top 8 and that "ninth-place" team out, than either...

a)you don't understand the NHL's standings and point systems, or
b)you're a fucking sore loser.

The Coyotes have been nestled in the mix for a postseason berth almost all season long, I fail to see how trade activity with 20 games or so left to go keeps another deserving team out. This isn't Field Day in elementary school where everyone gets a purple participation ribbon. This is pro fucking hockey, one team's success does not deem another's failure, you make your own success.

(Please notice that Shane Doan's hind parts are directly over a Calgary Flame, who are (sadly) in ninth place in the West. I need you people to laugh at my jokes, because I'm small, and can only win participation ribbons.)

'Cry Me A River,'

2010-03-05T15:14:00.000-08:00

... says Bob McKenzie when asked about the uproar from owner's in regards to the Coyotes aggressiveness and spending at the deadline.

How stupid are these owners?

'Ohhhh, grumble grumble grumble, you know where that money comes from? Hrumph, hrumph, hrumph, out of our pockets! I've got kids too, you know.'

Greedy fucking bastards.

Don't you think it would be smart and maybe even a marketing vantage point to the next potential owner, to have this against-all-odds team make the postseason and gets some fervor going around Phoenix? Don't you think that might drum up some business for the franchise?

Besides, what did Maloney spend? An extra $2.5million? Big fucking deal, its been running on League fumes for years what's another drop in the bucket. I think the only way to tell if this team's even marketable in that area is to see the turnout they get for a playoff series, even if its only two games in a series. Won't that give you a little more evidence to go on to decide whether it should stay or go?

The Coyotes sit fourth in the West with 81 points and are almost assured a postseason birth at this point with the bubble teams trailing by about 10 points back. They were the most active team at the deadline, involved in seven seperate trades that brought in some key personnel that can only help in the postseason. They're well coached by (more than likely a Jack Adams candidate) Dave Tippett, they've got good leadership in Doan and Jovo, solid goaltending with Breezy, and obviously have been playing well despite the circus surrounding the team.

And they're still managing to have fun while doing it, participating in exercises with the Maricopa County SWAT team (video here), and piloting F-16's at nearby Luke Air Force Base.

But I don't know who's fitting the bill for that.

Czechmate

2010-03-04T15:57:00.000-08:00

We wish we could be funny and more original on our own, but we just can't compete, kinda like the Maple Leafs. So we prefer to thieve good ideas, classic lines, or things we can pawn to make it look like we have a place in the universe, and maybe even in Heaven, cause the rent's due in Hell.

Anyway, we give you the 'Czechmate' because the only thing more fun than seeing Jagr get hit, is laughing about it. Or maybe hitting him yourself. Or taking scissors to his curly mullet of yesteryear. Or shaving off his soul patch.

Well I guess there is more than one thing, but try it on, you make like it since you can't actually hold him down and take a pair of clippers to the man. This style here is called the 'Manicured Landscape' inspired by walking skeleton, and Gorillaz song, Clint Eastwood in Gran Torino.

We've featured these styles on the Team Russia format, but they come in all colors including Commie Red, Siberian White, and Hopeless Blue. The one below we call 'Communist Rule'.

We love the genious over at Pucking Hilarious, who actually sell hilarious hockey t-shirts, and we stole this bad boy from them and the cast of Swingers, for their notorious use of the Sega Genesis NHL 94 game. We give you the 'Head Hemorrage'.

Get yours while supplies last!!!

Hockey Rumor Christmas, Postscript

2010-03-03T08:06:00.000-08:00

Why not start with my uniformed, unqualified, unsubstantiated opinion...

Thought we'd make it more funner this time round. And now for the hits...

Most One-Sided Trade: Derek Morris to the Coyotes for a fourth rounder in 2011.
I think the value is very lopsided in this one, chances are, you're not going to conjure up much in the fourth round, and while Morris hasn't had the best year in Boston, in combination with Phoenix's other trades, it makes an impact.

Best Trade for Both Teams: Wojtek Wolski going to Phoenix for Peter Mueller and Kevin Porter in return to Colorado.
The double cliche in the ol' change of scenery move for two 'enigmatic' forwards. Wolski's going to get the kick in the pants from Dave Tippett that he didn't get from Joe Sacco, and Mueller's going to get some guys his age to play around and hopefully re-invigorate his game. I think both are excited to get out of town and head to a new team.
Strangest Trade: Milan Jurcina going back to Washington for a sixth rounder.
This move started to make a lot more sense when Bob McKenzie announced that he's been diagnosed with a sports hernia. This is the return of damaged goods, and although he'll only be out 4-6 weeks, that pretty much covers the rest of the stretch run.
Most Active Team at the Deadline: Phoenix Coyotes, believe it or not.
Additions include Derek Morris, Wojtek Wolski, Mathieu Schneider, Lee Stempniak, Alexandre Picard, and Peteri Nokelainen. The League is desperate to make this team succeed and appear to be profitable to the next potential owner. Making a good run in the playoffs is the best way to achieve that goal.
Most Inactive Team at Deadline for the Best: Chicago Blackhawks.
The Hawks already are one of the frontrunners to go all the way, and goaltending was the only real question. Huet and Niemi have never won a playoff series, but neither did Cam Ward when he led the Canes to the Cup with some help from Martin Gerber. You have to look at the logistics this way, Huet has a yacht of a contract that is virtually unmovable, and Niemi is an RFA at the end of the year, even if you go after a goaltender, the Hawks are pressed to the cap, so if you reel in a Rolosson or even Biron there's no guarantee that those guys could do it either, as we've seen in the past. Hell, look at Khabibulin, he couldn't even pull it off last year and he's already got a ring. There are no guarantees and Huet/Niemi have played well enough behind a good team to go to the post with them.
Most Inactive Team at Deadline for the Worst: Boston Bruins
The Bruins are in freefall, clinging to the last spot in the East. They've looked like shit since well before the Olympic break and a lack of scoring is primarily the issue. Chiarelli couldn't address it, but by the sound of it seems like it wasn't for a lack of trying. Nothing is working for the Bruins, not even the deadline.
Surprising Lack of Activity:
Doug Wilson in San Jose and Bryan Murray in Ottawa are always making deals at the deadline, and Andy Sutton doesn't cut it. And Glen Sather is always doing something stupid for New York.
Randy Sexton in Florida, who explained he was having a firesale, and only moved three guys.
Garth Snow on the Island since he has all those goalies everyone hailed as great signings in the offseason. And DiPietro's injured again.

Odds and Ends:

Denis Grebeshkov gets dealt to Nashville from Edmonton, and then has to play his old team in the same night. Has that ever happened before? By the way, he was the first star on the night with a goal and an assist for the Predators.

Ponikarovsky and Fedotenko, both from Kiev, Ukraine could have some interesting chemistry with Malkin.

Ducks deal two former Toronto netminders (Pogge and Toskala) in same day, and get another (MacDonald). In last month, have made moves with just about every goaltender in organization, (signed Hiller, traded Giguere, etc.)

I could go on and on about the panel on TSN, from how big of an asshole Mike Keenan is, to how close Pierre McGuire needs to stand next other men, but I won't. That material could fill up a whole post alone.

Here's the trade tracker of the day if you want to be all snippy about it.

Now You're Gonna Get It Carey...

2010-03-03T07:48:00.000-08:00

Continuing our t-shirt "sale" this week, we come out with the 'Happy Carey'...
Its easy to steal great lines from movies, and we love easy, so we give you this clip to explain ourselves, (as if we had to).

We'll take a look at all the trades that did and didn't happen today when the dust settles, but for now, if you order this shirt in the next 20 minutes, we'll give you two for the same Price because we can't give 'em away!

Order NOW!

Mr. Mo Mentum

2010-03-02T13:28:00.000-08:00

Plenty of crazy shit happening with the deadline, but there are far better sources to cover that hoopla than here. We'll just hit a couple then move to the carry over from the Olympics. Mostly bullets today folks, still feeling lethargic.

Ray Emery is done for the year with avascular necrosis of the hip. 'What the fuck is that?!' you say. Look at the damn link, that's what's its there for. Basically its a disease that causes loss of blood flow to the bone, in this case the head of the femur, which renders the bone dead. This is the same thing that killed Bo Jackson's double-sport career. Some of the causes are pretty interesting, at least when it comes to Emery, alcoholism, excessive steroid use (also shrinks your balls), sickle cell anemia, lupus, and others or it could be undiagnosable. With regards to the Flyers, can they ride Leighton, or do they go after a cheap replacement like Rolosson?
Second round picks for defensemen are the new black. 2nd rounder to the Isles for Andy Sutton to Ottawa, another to Edmonton for Denis Grebeshkov being sent to Nashville, and yet another to Florida for Jordan Leopold going to Pittsburgh. There's only 30 of those this year right?
A few signings took place over the Olympic break, and still on-going, Zidlicky stays with Wild for another three years, Ott's staying in Dallas for another four, Stajan likes Calgary and inked a four year deal with the Sutters', and Rinne won the Nashville job apparently and got a two-year deal.

The 2010 Vancouver Winter Olympic Games
Spectacular. And the hockey was even better than that. The perfect matchup materialized for the Gold Medal game and we weren't disappointed in the least. Everything fell into place, Canada won Gold with the poster boy notching the winner, the Americans proved they were better than everyone thought, and we were treated to an amazing tournament of the best in the world. Can't really ask for too much more than that.

Teams

What the fuck happened to Sweden? Seriously. I kept expecting them to fly under the radar, and then just bash the shit out of someone on the way to the Gold Medal game. It never happened, the Slovaks beat them instead, and sent their Scandinavian asses home. They just did not show up at all.
Switzerland showed the world that they can compete with the best. Maybe not win, but they can sure give you a run for your money. Hiller is the #1 reason for that, and the Ducks obviously made the right choice. A big, young, athletic kid with a good attitude will have a lot of success even behind a halfway decent team. His teammate Luca Sbisa really plays with a chip on his shoulder, I liked the way he played in that tourney a lot. Where would the Isles be if they didn't have Mark Streit on the blueline? How bad would they be? A seriously underrated defenseman with smart hockey sense.
The Slovaks were also a nice suprise in the tournament, fighting their way back into a medal game, but giving up the lead in that Bronze Medal game to go fourth. A team with some pretty decent depth, and some star power to boot.
The Finns got schelacked by the Americans but came back to claim bronze. Again, another team with good depth and a little less star power, but great goaltending. I wonder if Backstrom had replaced Kiprusoff earlier had Suomi had a chance to get back in that game.
The Russians, oh the Russians. Well they've got motivation for Sochi now right? Actual Russian President Medvedev (not KHL President Medvedev) called off his trip to the games after the loss, and then called for the resignation of Team Russia's coaches and trainers. I miss the old Soviets where they all would have been killed. Kind of depressing to see Ovie be so upset, as he got all Hollywood and knocked a fan's camera out of the way, that guy is always smiles. Goaltending blew it, and again, I wonder if Bryzgalov had gone in sooner that the Russians might have been able to get back in that game. Look for Nabokov to show that same kind of poise for the Sharks in the postseason. He's a dirty Kazakh anyway.

Goaltending

Ryan Miller should just be awarded the Vezina right now, amiright?! He was incredible, and the reason why the Americans got as far as they did, and beat the Canadians in the round robin. People bashing him for the OT goal are fucking idiots.
Luongo backstopped Team Canada to Gold, but he will still have his critics. They can't say he never won anything, but they will still be questioning him if he can't deliver for Vancouver in the postseason, you can count on that. But what's the point, he's not going anywhere with that long term deal, and who would you want instead?
We've already mentioned Hiller, but Halak was also very good for the Slovaks, and a big reason why they were still in it. He's either earned a trade, or smarter for the Habs, an extention. I get the impression that Gauthier's not going to do shit, probably because he doesn't know what to do, so he'll keep both Price and Halak, and let someone else figure it out later when he gets replaced.
Vokoun played admirably behind a lackadasical Czech team, but it still looks like the Panthers are looking to go in another direction. Vokoun has played well even though his numbers don't show it due to playing for the Cats.
Lundqvist played well, as always, but proved once again that he can't do it alone, whether its for Sweden or the Rangers.

General

Do Burke and Wilson get a little breathing room from the Toronto press for the production in Vancouver? I don't think either of them are in any type of hot seat, Burke's got a plan, and Wilson's part of it, but its not going to happen overnight like everyone expects. Those two can handle the media, but is any credit going to be given where credit is due?
Speaking of coaching... Can you imagine being on a team coached by Babcock, Lemaire, and Ruff? Or Wilson, Tortorella, and Gordon? Pretty awesome. Wilson and Torts, is that ridiculous or what?! Where the hell does Gordon fit in? He must have been playing the good cop.
Its a good thing Ryan Getzlaf's got a Gold Medal and a Stanley Cup ring 'cause he's bald as fuck at 24.
A lot of the stickwork that's been eliminated from the NHL was back in the Olympic game without calls from the refs. Letting the play go was cool, but you see all those hacks at the hands and wrists and you realize how ridiculous it is. Takes a lot of the skill out of the game, and I'm glad to see it gone. Although some of the calls nowadays are brutal.

Hot or Not Lists
And who's carrying it over...

Invisible

Chris Pronger

Marty Brodeur

Marty Havlat

Team Sweden

Alex Radulov

Paul Stastny

Phil Kessel

Outstanding

Drew Doughty

Jon Toews

Rick Nash

David Krejci

Mikko Koivu

Jonas Hiller

Pavol Demitra

Zach Parise

Ryan Kesler

Do You Know Why I Pulled You Over?

2010-03-01T16:00:00.000-08:00

Khabby: "Speed."

Officer of the Law: "Do you know how fast you were going?"

Khabby: "80."

Yeah I know its late for this one, but I don't feel like putting forth the effort to go over 'The Game' yet so I'm phoning it in, and posting this half baked idea. I thought I would do a series of these t-shirts to fill the bottomless void that is this blog, but I'll probably give up at 2 after I get no response.

Wow, all that optimism and I haven't even started drinking yet. We Americans are taking it hard.

Well don't worry folks the 'Nikolai' comes in a variety of colors and styles, but today its featured in Oiler blue. Only available in XXXL so that you can be like the bruthas who wear t-shirts past their knees to cover up their pants hanging down by their ankles. Barely.

The style above is called 'Broken English' but there's also the 'Insurance Scam'...

And we all love when sports and movies crossover, so here we have 'the Fast and the Furious'...

And of course, 'Tambellini's Legacy'...

Get Yours Today!!!

What a Difference a Day Makes

2010-02-24T22:56:00.000-08:00

Well that was quite a turnaround from a few days ago. The wiser of us knew it was coming, or at least knew that it couldn't possibly continue this way. Could it? No apparently it couldn't, Canada throttled an easy opponent in Germany, and then pretty much handed the mighty Russians their balls in a lunch bag. And now Team Canada is back, and for real this time.

There was no way this crop of Canadian stars was going to phone this one in, and they jumped on the Russians early to prove that they meant business. They finally started playing like everyone expected them to play and better yet against an opponent that was considered a viable threat. Not yanking Nabokov earlier in the game was stupid, he looked more like Toskala. Putting Bryzgalov in after the 1st period might have allowed the Russian offense to get back in it, instead of waiting to give him mop up duty.

The Swiss had to be the most potentially dangerous underdog in this whole tourney, keeping the first game against the Americans respectable at 3-1, forcing the Canadians to a shootout, and once again holding the Americans off in more or less a one goal game in the quarterfinal.

The US looks much weaker now due to the score against the Swiss in those two games, after riding high on a win over the Canadians. Their road to the gold medal game was much less challenging than what it would take for the Canadians or Russians, for that matter. They'll now have to play an underrated Finnish team, whose only true test was a 3-0 loss to the Swedes.

The Finns are getting a ride on Kipusoff's back, and are once again going to need it against a gritty American team. Finland is a legitimate threat to the Americans, and you could easily see that game going either way.

Only the true prognosticators saw the Slovaks beating the Swedes, I can't believe it even as I type it. You could see the utter disbelief and more so disgust on the face of all those legendary Swedes. To me, this makes Canada's road to the gold medal game much more easier, but I guess you can't downplay the threat that the Slovaks present.

If I had to guess...

I see the Americans beating out the Finns by a two goal margin.

The Canadians blowing up Halak with a high scoring, three or four goal margin.

Canada beats the US when it actually counts for a proud host country gold medal. A two goal game, the other way this time.

Finland for the bronze in a one goal game over the Slovaks.

Success in this tournament depends heavily on solid goaltending. Hiller was huge for the Swiss, Halak has been ridiculous for the Slovaks, Miller for the Americans, Lundqvist for the Swedes (until tonight), Vokoun performed admirably for the Czechs, and Kipper for the Finns. Luongo still has yet to prove himself after Brodeur failed to.

At this point, which is pretty much back to where we were before the tournament started, its Canada's gold to lose.

Saving Bobby Ryan

2010-02-22T11:39:00.000-08:00

Are you ready to hear some horrific shit? Bobby Ryan isn't Bobby Ryan, he's Bobby Stevenson, son of Robert Stevenson, the man who violently beat the shit out of his wife, (Bobby's mother) after a night of drinking when Bobby was 10 years old.

Bbbbut but but wait it gets worse...

Dear ol' Dad Stevenson suspected his wife was taking drugs, so stumbling home drunk, the amateur boxer, chased her out of their house, down the street and into a neighbor's house where he proceeded to smash in the door, and beat the holy hell out of her, breaking ribs, puncturing her lung, and fracturing her skull.

So did Bobby and his mother flee from this viciously violent man and change their names in an attempt to distance themself from this horrible attack?

No.

She forgave him. And all three of them fled to Canada in an attempt to keep Daddy out of prison on counts of attempted murder and other assorted felonies. So they changed their last names to Ryan, after Robert, now Shane (Dad), came up with the brilliant pseudonym after watching 'Saving Private Ryan.'

But Dad always had little Bobby's best interests in mind, scouring the great white north for the best hockey programs at the Junior level, probably hoping to cash in on his son's natural gift for the game, so that the two of them 'could be partners, just like that Tiger Woods and his Daddy.' Except without that whole sex scandal thing.

But maybe not, I wouldn't put it past his father, so wholesome a fellow that he picked up professional gambling in order to provide for the family that somehow forgave him. So good a Dad that he even stopped by Blockbuster to rent movies for his family that night, probably 'Sleeping With the Enemy' or '8MM', swiping an old credit card to pay, and simultaneously inviting Federal Marshals into their home.

So justice is served right? Yeah right, he gets five years back in Jersey, pleading down to aggravated assault. Now he's got a steady job at Bobby Clarke's Gym. Yes, that Bobby Clarke.

"It probably makes absolutely no sense to 95% of the people," allowing for that 5% of the prison population that is out of their fucking minds. "I’m not saying that what happened was good. I’m saying what happened had positive changes for Bobby," positive in the sense that he's made it to the NHL regardless of the monster that I am, despite all those horrible emotional scars I've left on him.

"Does he have scars? Probably. But he’s a good kid. He’s honest. He’s forthright. He’s genuinely good to other people. He took the right path."

Christ this man has a lot of regret. Sounds like Marty Brodeur after losing to the Americans, (too soon?) Do you think he would take any responsibility if Bobby Ryan turned out to be the same asshole he is?

Here's the article that paints this man, as a regretful father who made a mistake. Just one mind you, and he's better now.

We Haven't Won Anything Yet

2010-02-21T22:36:00.000-08:00

The game tonight was everything it was built up to be, and if you turned your head away to watch the small child in the center of room put something in her mouth that she wasn't supposed to, you would have missed an incredible amount of amazing hockey. It was an exhilarating experience to be screaming at the television and have that kind of passion for the teams involved as my heart raced as the seconds ticked.

But once again, Americans have to remind themselves... they haven't won anything yet.

Its true that Team USA outworked a more skilled, more talented Team Canada, but there's still a long way to go before we can start looking like idiots boasting about our new found, and more than likely, temporary nationalism, even though many of us already have started in. I can't imagine what Team Canada is thinking right now, surviving a shootout against Jonas Hiller and the Swiss, and losing to an overmatched American team, in their Olympic year, in their sport.

I can tell you that Ryan Miller is Team USA, everyone knew he had to be in order to have a chance to beat Marty Brodeur and the Canadians, and that's exactly what he did. Brodeur on the other hand has been less than spectacular, and may have seen his last action in the tournament unless Babcock succumbs to the pressure.

And its not that the Canadians didn't try to beat Miller, it was a god damn warm-up drill at times, but they persevered tonight, and right now tonight is as good as a week from now.

I can't remember that last time I've seen that caliber of hockey. I sure as shit don't remember the last Olympic games, and its been too long since the last postseason to really compare. But everyone elevated their game, they were all playing at a different level. Well most anyway...

I now firmly believe that this will be Scott Niedermayer's last year. His decision making and his tendency to be outworked by younger competition has never been more apparent that this season. Scott Niedermayer is my favorite player in the NHL, and I am sad to say that his time has come to an end. He still has the wheels, just not the overwhelming desire to win.

I have to believe that Paul Stastny is injured. When everyone else was playing out of their mind, he was ordinary, at times worse than ordinary. We all know he has the skill set, the hockey intelligence, not to mention the great bloodline, but he was not showing it tonight, whatsoever.

Patty Kane was too rattled to add anything significant to this game. He's got a great set of hands and wheels, but there were times when I was questioning his spot on this team. His inexperience was evident tonight, and you can only hope that he'll stop looking around and start shooting the puck in the next round.

On the other hand, Dustin Brown really impressed me tonight, and he hasn't done that in the past. I'm not just talking about his move around his Kings teammate Drew Doughty, I'm talking about his whole game and his love for the dirty areas.

Sidney Crosby is lights out. He is so hungry for the puck that he will outwork, and outmanuever anyone. The spotlight is rough, but he handles it well.

Brian Rafalski does not receive as much credit as he should for being a smart defenseman. He's been guilty of mistakes in his own zone, but his first pass, and his shot selection from the point is fantastic.

Drew Doughty is no doubt the better defenseman between him and Jack Johnson, and Jack had a better game than he usually does. Doughty does not panic, he is so cool with the puck that its scary to think about how good he'll become. The same goes for Duncan Keith, while he didn't have the greatest game he still moves the puck up the ice with great speed.

Chris Drury is often bashed for his lack of goal scoring for the Rangers considering the size of his contract, and those same fickle fans are tired of talking about the other things that he brings to the game, but that's truly what he does. There's no doubt that he's in the decline of his career when he was offered that ridiculous contract, but he's carved a niche for himself by bringing the little things, and offering his defensive responsibilities instead. He's honoring the contract the only way he can when he's a step behind the younger, faster guys around the League.

But in the end, it was Ryan Miller's win. He put it on his back, and he held off the greatest Canadian players in the game today. He had to be great and he was, and that's the only reason why Team USA won tonight. That and the relentless forechecking and never give up attitude of the Americans.

So while the Russians are talking about Ovechkin's hit on Jagr, Americans will be talking about this game for quite some time. And if its the only thing we win in this tournament of tournaments, it would be enough for me.

I Can Feel the Tension All the Way Down Here

2010-02-18T22:36:00.000-08:00

Should have been getting this out sooner, but I've only now gotten to watch some games that didn't involve stones, toepicks, or bindings. Today made for an interesting day of hockey with the US vs. Norway ho-hummer, the Canada vs. Switzerland nail biter, and the Russia vs. Slovakia tap dance. I'm not going to break down entire games just hit you with the bullets which is my usual modus operandi when I'm feeling lazy.

Hockey Stuffs

The US got bashed today for their tendency to run around, and have their defenseman pinch for the offensive opportunity and instead give up the odd man rush. It looked to me like they knew they were playing Norway, and they knew they could get away with it. Like a bunch of peewees who knew they were playing a weaker team and everyone wanted to get a goal.
Why does Norway suck at hockey? I've asked this before but I can't find a logical reason. Sweden and Finland are hockey hotbeds, and it seems to me that Scandinavian countries are all very similar unless I'm just being an uneducated, racist prick.
Is Switzerland better than everyone thought or did Canada play a crappy game? A little bit of both in this case I think. The Swiss played their ass off, and My Name Is Jonas stood on his motherfucking head. They hung in there and kept battling and the lucky bounces go in your favor when you do that. All of Canada started to worry as soon as their lead was cut to a goal and the pressure was crushing. You could feel it through the television. There is so much pressure on these guys to win that they're falling into the old cliche of trying to do too much instead of just playing hockey like they all know how.
Panic set in early. Babcock started shuffling his lines with the exception of the Sharks line that looked like they were being quadruple shifted. That's just fucking stupid with a stacked team like the one you have. Mikey's usually a pretty smart hockey guy, but he looked kind of foolish doing that, and not settling his team down.
Why are the Slovaks the only team subject to playing back to back games? I haven't looked at the rest of the schedule to see if that happens to any other team later on, but getting matched up against the Czechs one night and the Russians the next? Who fucked that one up?
Where's all that Russian firepower? Its a 1-1 game right now against the Slovaks with three minutes left to play in the third. I thought they were just going to blow everyone out. I think they feel worried too.
The Swedes seem the most calm with their 2-0 game against Germany. No panic whatsoever in that team. Slow and steady wins the race.
Their seems to have been a lot of overestimation for the powerhouses and a lot of underestimation for the underdogs. Canada's not killing it like everyone thought they would and the tension is thick. Russia's not blowing it up. The Swiss played two tight games against the US and Canada and earned a lot of respect by doing so. The American's chances look better against the first two than everyone thought they'd be.
Goaltending is still the key. We've already referenced Hiller, but Halak has played extremely well, and Vokoun had a good game as well. A hot goaltender can win a tournament like this with just a little bit of help.
It seems like every four years they change the rules of Olympic hockey. First they count down on the clock, then they count up, then they count it like a soccer match, and now were back to counting down. And from then on its following NHL rules... 4 on 4 five minute overtime, then a shootout. I don't like that you can send up one of the three shooters on the fourth or later shot in the shootout, but whatevs.
I do love the absence of the trapezoid. Did you see that pass from Ryan Miller up ice on the Malone goal? You don't see that kind of play anymore from goaltenders even though the restriction of the trapezoid has nothing to do with it. Hardly see any assists anymore from goalies.
I don't think I've ever seen Pavol Demitra play this hard. Its amazing how much effort you can put forth when you actually give a shit. Also amazing is how obvious it is.
These teams with bunches, if not all, of NHLers are all trying to be too cute. They're all looking for that perfect shot, or that big move to the middle. Problem is, they're still playing other best players in the world. The middle's clogged up every time no matter what team's defending.
Did you see Ovechkin knock the shit out of Chara? Awesome.
Joe Micheletti's still a fucking idiot, and may be borderline retarded.
Datsyuk got pokechecked by Halak, holy shit.And the Slovaks beat Russia in a shootout, holy shit. Halak won that game. And Demo with the hanger over Bryzgalov.

General Olympic Stuffs

I think NBC's coverage of the games has been absolute shit. Torture in hell might involve having to listen to Bob Costas talk about the intricacies of baseball or tectonic forces at work. Between him and Cris Collingsworth talk about their keen fashion sense I was ready to go buy a gun or go looking for some black tar heroin. That and their scheduling and relegating hockey to their little sister networks.
Its amazing how much quicker the men work in curling than the women. They were throwing stones before the competitor's stopped sliding from the throw before.
What is it about curling that makes people love it? I fucking love it. Its strangely hypnotic. Maybe its the fact that looks like anyone of us could do it, without being in any kind of shape except out of.
Jacobelis gave up, plain an simple. Maelle was the better rider and Lindsey just gave it to her. That's why she should be embarrassed, not because she's pulling grabs in bordercross. Although that was pretty stupid in Torino.
How imperfect is the sport of figure skating? Is falling just a natural part of the sport? I'm not saying what they're doing isn't difficult as hell, but aren't these people supposed to be the best in the world? Even the commentators point that shit out, they're fucking ruthless at times.
Shaun White's McTwist was McFucking Awesome. It wasn't perfectly clean, but he didn't even need to do that run to win gold, and he went out there and stomped it and bettered the score from his first run.
The Women's Downhill was friggin awesome. So fucking fast. Lots of nasty crashes. Do you think Vonn was really injured or was that more of NBC bullshit 'make it interesting' propaganda?
Gretzky showed the most distress when that bay for the torch lighting didn't open. The other legendary Canadian atheletes held it together, shit Nash looked like he was waiting for the shot clock to run down at the top of the key. But Wayne was biting his lip and presenting a look of 'I can't believe this shit, I'm so embarrassed.' Get a grip Gretz, its not all about you, you ego maniac.
Sometimes I want to hide being American, we make looking stupid so easy.
Canada on the other hand is an amazing nation. There's just so much pride in these games that's not boastful or ignorant, its just real. The weather's uncontrollable, shit happens, and the games are great. Nice fucking job.

I'll have more as the games go on. Needless to say Sunday at 4pm is the big game.

Trade Deadline: 20 Days Roster Freeze: 1 Day

2010-02-11T12:13:00.000-08:00

'Why yes, I have played in Michigan before.'

Its Getting Crowded Here

Okay, so now its really uncomfortable between the pipes in Dallas.

Marty Turco's been the goaltending face of the franchise for roughly seven years, working as an understudy to 'Crazy' Eddie Belfour in his early days. At 34, Turco is in the final year of his contract with a $5.7mil cap hit to the team he was drafted by in the 5th round of the 1994 Draft.

Alex Auld's on his sixth team in eight years, and in all that time he's only once been the #1 goaltender playing 67 games for Vancouver in the 2005-06 season. The 29 year old is also in the last year of a meager $1mil contract, and has played in 21 games this year, with a 9-6-3 record, posting a .894 save percentage and a 3.00 goals against average.

And now enter Kari Lehtonen, the 2nd round draft choice of the Thrashers in the 2002 draft after a stunning season in the Finnish SM-liiga. Lehtonen is 26, and known as the most injury-prone goaltender in the League, electing two back surgeries, and suffering a groin injury on the opening night of the 2005 season only to twist his ankle at the end of it. Lehtonen is a restricted free agent earning $3mil in the final year of his deal.

Its pretty clear at this point that Joe Nieuwendyk has elected to go in a different direction in the blue paint. Its true that Turco has never won anything recognized around the League, (no Vezinas, no Cup) but still holds the majority of team goaltending records for the Stars franchise. In my mind, he is a sound, smart goaltender in decline as his age inclines. I do believe he's got it in him to make a defiant last gasp on a poised team. He'll have to most certainly take a pay cut in his next contract, but I still believe he holds a lot of value in the trade market for this upcoming stretch run for a team looking to sure up its goaltending. But therein lies the question, does that team exist?

I wrote earlier that I thought Turco would fit nicely in Washington but I think GMGM is feeling more comfortable with his platoon of goaltenders, Theo has played better, Neuvirth has performed admirably, and one can only expect Varlamov will be back before the postseason. I think you have the same situation in Chicago, where the Bowman's are feeling more and more comfortable with Niemi and Huet, so lets say they're out too. Emery's still fielding injury problems that isn't a deviated septum, and although Leighton's been keeping the Flyers in the race, I'm not sure Holmgren is confident in what's there. The thought of Turco to Philly has already been poopoo'd, and its hard to imagine them taking Biron back to make a run. It appears as though winner by default Pierre Gauthier is willing to ride out his two RFA goaltenders through the stretch and deal with it in the summer. Dean Lombardi has stated his confidence in Quick/Ersberg and seems comfortable to head to their first postseason in seven seasons on the backs of those two.

David Poile has not yet shown his cards when dealing with his two impending FA goalies Rinne and Ellis. The Predators are in desperate need for offensive support, and one would think that Rinne would garner more trade interest than Ellis. It sounds as if Poile is leaning that way and planning to keep Ellis in the fold.

Reports came out of Boston that Tim Thomas was available, if anyone was willing to swallow his $5mil per contract for the next three years and rather aggressive, sometimes troubling play in net. Very hard to believe Chiarelli would offer that kind of extension to a post-Vezina winner, and then turn around and try to deal him. I don't know who would take his inconsistency at that number anyway.

Detroit may be the most interesting destination for the other Marty, although Holland isn't keen on shelling out big numbers to goalies any more. Cocky bastard Chris Osgood's had enough of being second fiddle to Howard, although he still needs the support and training to be a number one. I don't think Detroit has the confidence they had last year, but they are starting to get their ailing stars back in the lineup, and between now and March 3rd could determine if they go out and pick someone up for the post, or remain outside the bubble.

Back to Dallas for a second, the Stars are severing ties with Turco for better or worse. Lehtonen, although young, and once promising is not an upgrade by any means. Auld is a career backup who's been given the chance to play by Crawford who he's developed a relationship with from their days in Vancouver. If the Stars thought it was bad with Turco in net, get ready for a new low. They traded a promising defenseman for an injury riddled stopper who couldn't crack the lineup in Atlanta. Atlanta, that is.

'The odd couple.'

In 'Nobody Gives a Shit' News...

Underperforming Ville Leino was traded to Philadelphia for Norwegian defenseman Ole-Kristian Tollefsen. Tollefsen's been subject to quite a few injuries since his emergence into the League, and Philly has a glut of defensemen. Leino's not enough of a diamond in the rough to crack into the Detroit lineup, and has been faulted for being weak on the puck. Either way, its probably a win-win for both teams, as spare parts on one team becomes hopeful reclamation projects on a new one.

All of the Hurricanes are now up for sale, Fire Sale! Fire Sale!

Gary on the Future of Atlanta

2010-02-08T11:53:00.000-08:00

Talk about tripping over your words, when asked in an interview with Jeff Schultz of the Atlanta Journal Constitution about the future of the Thrashers in Atlanta, little Gary had this to say...

“Ultimately, I believe when this [the ownership situation] all gets sorted out, the franchise will be in a better place.”

Realizing his Freudian slip, he nervously laughed and corrected himself...

“Can I change that? What I mean is the franchise will be in a better situation.”

Go ahead Gary, laugh it off, we all know what you really think, and that your conscious obviously knows better than your ego.

Trade Deadline: 25 Days, Roster Freeze: 6 Days

2010-02-05T22:57:00.000-08:00

Phaneuf fights, Giguere pitches a shutout and all is right in T-dot. Kovalchuk goes to Devils sets up the game winner, and the Leafs return to their losing ways by giving up a 3-1 lead, and everything comes into balance once again.

Uhh, San Jose, I don't know, don't they lose every year?

The Cockblock
A No Trade Clause is a powerful thing, yet they seem to be handed out like candy. Everybody and their mother has one including Bird Dogg and a Mr. Niclas Wallin. Originally it was thought that Nic didn't want to go to San Jose, or leave Carolina, but now it sounds as if the length of term on the contract extention offered by Doug Wilson was too long for him. Unusual considering its almost guaranteed money on a bound-to-win-sooner-or-later team, but hey to each his own. Apparently its all come to a screeching halt, I'm sure Doug was none too happy about that complaint, and now the Sharktank faithful are spitballing ideas for another defenseman to acquire. The thing I can't get my head wrapped around, is the Sharks willingness to do away with Ryane Clowe. He's a big power forward with great hands, and a mean streak when the time calls for it. He digs hard in the corners, and he's had his fair share of both pretty and ugly goals. Contending teams would be wise to give him a good look if he really is available.

The List
Sheldon Souray has reportedly prepared a list for Oilers GM Jeff Tambellini of six teams he is willing to relocate to. Suprisingly there are just as many Western Conference teams as there are Eastern Conference teams. As speculated both Southern California teams were mentioned, as was Dallas, all convenient options when travelling to see his daughters in greater Los Angeles. In addition, Washington, Philadelphia, and New York City were also losted as potential destinations for the big defenseman with the heavy shot. He is currently nursing a surgically repaired broken hand that he suffered in a fight with Jarome Iginla, which could limit the lust for his services on the open market, or at least of those six teams. He has had problems with his hands before, and is recently returned to the Oilers after suffering a concussion earlier in the season. The sexy man with funny name has every intention of returning to a lineup during the regular season, and ready for the playoffs.

Who's Left?
Well Kovy's been dealt and had a coming out party in Jersey, and now the rest of the League can take a breath again. So who's left to be moved? Well it looks like Scott Howson, who gave Hitchcock his walking papers earlier this week, is more than willing to deal free agent to be Raffi Torres. Torres has one hell of a season in Edmonton's miracle run to the finals, his career bests, but has only played one full season since then. This year he's got 16 goals and 10 assists and has only missed four games on a miserable Columbus team. Burke has let it be known that Alexei Ponikarovsky is also available, quite bent on the idea of re-creating this team from his blueprint. Many of the Leafs players that were on the team when Burke reached office have been dealt including six most recently. Ponikarovsky is third on the team in points, and second in goals to a man who doesn't play for Leafs anymore (Hagman). Someone will want those extra points. Ray Whitney is still available, as are just about every other Hurricane not named Staal, Sutter, or Ward, Cam Ward that is.

Rumor Mill
Rostislav Olesz and Florida prospect Drew Shore have been dealt to Edmonton for I believe, Shawn Horcoff (not Drew) and a draft pick reported by George Richards of the Miami Herald.

Roster Freeze goes into effect 2/12 at 11:59pm, lifts on 2/28 at 11:59pm. Trade Deadline ends 3/3 at 3pm ET.

Burke's Press Conference on the Leafs Trade

2010-02-05T13:57:00.000-08:00

Fucking hilarious, I was spitting up laughing. The voice sounds spot on.

The highlights...
"I had to do something to help out this sinkhole organization that's been sinking down every fucking day here. I can't drink enough fucking booze to pull myself out of this."

"In return we get Derek Sundstrom, Keith Allen... Keith Allen's a big defenseman, he's 6'-6" kid there, he looks like a fuckin' wookie on skates."

"We also, fortunately, had to let Toskala go. As you're aware this fucking guy couldn't stop a fucking beach ball, so don't hit your ass on the way out Toskala."

Now We Can Go On With Our Lives

2010-02-05T11:23:00.000-08:00

'So long Suckers!'

And so that's how the story ends...

Yeah right, we could only hope. Ilya has only been hired as a mercenary for the Devils, he'll still be available come July 1st unless something happens with the team before then.

But Lou did it, like a cunning cheetah stalking his unsuspecting prey in the night. Getting back his undrafted Finnish defenseman, Anssi Salmela, that he plucked out of the Worlds, and sent to Atlanta for Nik Havelid. Not to mention ridding himself of Patrice Cormier's elbow heard round the hockey world, a slumping Johnny Oduya, and a big question mark in Nik Bergfors.

Cormier could definetely be a solid NHLer and every indication from Juniors says that, but his flying elbow from the top rope that sent Michael Tam into convulsions has really put a dark cloud on his future. Lamoriello, ever the strategist, played the PR end beautifully, by standing behind his prospect, as well as the ruling handed out by the QMJHL, publicly in both cases. And even though Lou may not have wanted to part with him, its a win/win for him in the instance that there will be plenty more Cormier's, and he's got Kovalchuk.

Lou also had to give up his first round pick in 2010 to make the deal work, and the Devils and Thrashers have also swapped second rounders in the same draft. Time will only tell what those picks will produce, and it may not be anything in the near future.

And what does Waddell have? Well right now it appears as a whole lot of nothin'. I don't know what would be the amount that it would take for it to look like Don won. I don't know if Don can ever win. Between this and the Hossa trade he looks like a bumbling idiot, grabbing stacks of cash out of an open register laughing madly as he runs away, only to find out that its mostly ones and fives.

I honestly don't see how this team survives in Atlanta. Crumbling ownership, a fairweather fanbase, and a foolish General Manager spell disaster, I just don't know how its lasted this long. Who is the face of the franchise? Who do you put on billboards all over the City to raise intrest come next season? Its not an ultimately damning issue but it seriously does not look good.

And in the same respect, Donny had to do it, he had no choice. He was, at best, misled by Kovalchuk in his statements that he wanted to stay while turning down several, more than, lucrative offers. If Ilya signs for less elsewhere, we'll know that to be fact, and yet who can blame him for the same reasons we listed above.

And so he goes off to New Jersey, the home of Marty Brodeur, the best goaltender of all time, and Zach Parise, and Jamie Langenbrunner, and maybe even Patrik Elias, but also the home of Jacques Lemaire and his suffocating style of defense first hockey. I still don't see how that works with a one-dimensional player like Kovy. Does he get benched between now and April for not backchecking? Or will Lemaire have the directive from Lou to let him slide as long as he's scoring goals?

Here's another one for you, what if he gets injured in the Olympics? Then what? Most likely the Devils will be able to survive at least for a little while in the post, but will they be able to take it all the way? Its an all-or-nothing attitude coming out of the Prudential Center now with this move. Its Cup or bust now, and this from adding a guy who's been in four playoff games an added a goal and an assist.

But its over, (for now), and we can all go on with the rest of our lives.